Silly Kid stories - Page 10

fireheart · #91 06-23-2012, 03:59 AM

This morning I had training with the Level 1 kids. Most of them are age 4.

At the end of the lesson we take the kids out to do some jumps into the deep end. One important factor is that they MUST get out of the pool by themselves if they can. We'll help them and encourage them, but they need to get out by themselves eventually.

Today I was helping with one kid and as I'm helping him up, I'm going "Use your muscles big boy" and he goes "I lost one muscle" followed shortly by "I lost all my muscles"

AnaKhouri · #92 06-23-2012, 03:44 PM

This evening when my son finally sat down to look at a book by himself (for the first time all day), I lay on the floor beside him.

Boy: "Mommy, are you sick?"
Me: "No, I have a bad sunburn and I'm tired, but I'm not sick."
Boy: "Why are you tired?"
Me: >snort<

Redbeard · #93 06-23-2012, 11:02 PM

A classic Mister Peanut story.
Peanut is austistic, and like many kids with his type of autism, it took longer to potty train him than average.
When he was a bit past 3 Little Sis has taken him and the other kids to the Childrens Museum, when Peanut starts pulling on her sleeve. About the same time she smells a STENCH...
"Mama! Mama!"
"Yes, Peanut?"
"Did you put poopy in my pants?!"
Keep in mind this was said with the most best "I'm going to destroy the world" little kid smile you've ever seen.

fireheart · #94 06-24-2012, 02:59 AM

Another gem I just thought of from training.

Because there isn't always a Level 1 class on, I've been sitting in on Level 2 and 3 classes. At Level 3, the kids are introduced to backstroke arms.

One of the kids the other day asked us when we were going to do some REAL backstroke while we were in the middle of doing said stroke. O.o

Cue the instructor and me going "This IS real backstroke!"

Mishi · #95 06-24-2012, 03:22 AM

"I can has cold toast with seeds and fairies for lunch, please?"

(Fairy bread, made with still-frozen grainy wholemeal bread)

Jazzy, defiantly: "Mum, I'm wearing my pajamas all day and when it's time for my shower, I'll put new ones on and then I'll read a book and go to bed!" Should have seen her face when I told her that IS what school holidays are for.

cashierbex · #96 06-24-2012, 03:46 PM

I have one of myself-short n sweet:

Apparently when I was little, I would say pancakes made me angry. Dunno why, but it always pissed off my dad

.

Now for my 5 year old nephew:

His grandma: Hey *nephew* do you like me in this skirt
Nephew: Its looks weird, but a good kind of weird.

My roomie: What does a platypus say
Nephew: A platypus doesn't exist cause it is a bitch

(he only curse around us

)

Me: Say Percy (when Clash of the Titans came out I was explaining the story to my roomie. Yes I know the name is not Percy, thats all my nephew heard)
Nephew: *Says Percy in a way that sounds like another term for a lady part. Use your imagination*

Now we get him to say random phrases with the word Percy. We are so bad

.

Mishi · #97 06-25-2012, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Quoth cashierbex

Now we get him to say random phrases with the word Percy. We are so bad

.

*Smirks* You're not alone, I have trouble not giggling when Bubbles accidentally mispronounces 'Fat Controller' because it ends up sounding like 'Fat C*** Roller' or 'F***ed Troller'.

Redbeard · #98 07-20-2012, 11:30 PM

Mister Peanut, as with many autistic kids, has an innate dislike of clothing.
Apparently he's taken to stripping in the middle of shopping trips....

wolfie · #99 07-21-2012, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Quoth smfrazier

When I was about 3 or 4 I use to play with the pots and pans under the counter. One day I asked my mother "What's this?" She said it was a flour sifter. But I heard it as "flower" sifter.

Later that day my mother pulled out the flour sifter and found it full of crushed up dandelions that I had picked up form the back yard. She said "Did you do this?" I said yes. "Why?" I said "Well you said it was a "flower" sifter.

Thankfully she didn't get mad. She thought it was hilarious.

Sounds like the one about the very angry European explorer "tearing a new one" for his native bearer with a speech impediment.

Native bearer: But you thaid it wath a pith helmet.

fireheart · #**100** 07-21-2012, 05:53 AM

I have one gem from swimming training today:

At the start of the lesson, the kids go jumping up to the end of the lane, to get used to the fact that their feet will leave the floor of the pool and they won't sink. Then we get them to turn around and hop back on one leg.

Cue one of my kids today, "I'm hopping on two feet!"