{Game} Punish the SC!

[Kristev]

Punishment: The mice are still there, and if there's one thing elephants are scared of, it's mice. Can you say ouchie, Rich Bastard? I knew you could.

Crime: A married couple leave their kids at home and bring their fight with them, complete with picking up and throwing whatever they can find at each other. All over Japan's China shop. And you thought Rich Bastard and his menagerie were bad. Somebody do something.

[cindybubbles]

Punishment: Married couple is forced to commit seppuku (ritual suicide) and have friends sell all their organs on the black market to pay back the Japanese china shop.

Crime: To get credit for lots of credit-card sign-ups, and to ensure good sales, sucky manager (SM):

• Forces his cashiers to force people to pay only with the store credit card. These cashiers comply because it's do this or you're fired and they need the money.
• Hires people to guard the doors and lines in case people try to leave without buying something.
  
  If that happens, guards are to:
  • manhandle customers,
  • grab random items off the shelf,
  • rifle through customers' pockets and purses, and
  • pay with the store card, gluing a pen to each customer's right hand and scrawling whatever name they see fit on the receipt.
  
  
  After that, guards are to:
  • drag customers down to the basement,
  • put them in specially made padded cells,
  • lock them up, feeding them sporadically, and
  • bring them out only to buy more stuff with the card, leaving their poor families with the large credit-card bills.
  
  
  
• Orders the people manning the customer service desk to refuse all returns, and
• Hires hypnotists as greeters and customer service people to hypnotize people into buying their stuff with the store credit card, if all else fails.

[Kristev]

Punishment: Mother Nature is so angry with all this, she causes an earthquake to knock the store flat down into a million little pieces.

Crime: An ultra-rich family, who, if they had any class at all, would be barbarian, hire a housekeeper to scrub their home from top to bottom. But they simply refuse to let the woman work, getting in her way, won't quit hitting on her, and undoing all the work she was able to do, then castigate her for being the worst housekeeper they've ever met. They won't even pay her. Does justice exist only as a tarot card?

[XCashier]

Punishment: The housekeeper is a very powerful witch, who turns the family into cockroaches, stomps on them, and robs the house.

Crime: SC is trying to return stolen merchandise and pitches a screaming fit because she isn't getting cash back.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Punishment: Right behind her in the queue is the policeman who's been looking for her, cuz there's a warrant out for her arrest!

Crime: SC leaves her kids in the store cafe cuz she doesn't want them with her when she shops. The kids proceed to wreck the cafe.

[Kristev]

Punishment: The kids are mistaken for escaped primates and animal control comes and deposits them inside of a cage at the city zoo.

Crime: The SC hires a plumber to repair his pipes, which now seem to spread filthy water all over his house rather than down into the sewer system. The problem is, since the plumber they sent is a woman, he constantly tries to 'correct' her as she works and questions her every move to the point where she wants to hit him with a filthy lead pipe.

[cindybubbles]

Punishment: The woman steps aside and lets SC do his own plumbing, refusing to budge until he thinks he gets it done. Then when the pipes burst the next day, the SC calls to complain to the owner. Guess who's the owner? The woman, so she rips him a new one and tells him that no one, not even the pizza guy, not even the newspaper delivery person, will ever step foot into his house ever again, and that his mail has been put on hold, so he has to go to the nearest post office to get help. She then proceeds to sue him for gender discrimination, and, because she keeps notes of everything that happens when she works, she's successful. The SC now owes her millions of dollars in damages and is now out on the street because of his sexism.

Crime: Sucky Patient demands to see a nurse. When a male nurse comes in, he throws things at him, demanding to see a female nurse because, according to him, nursing is "women's work".

[catcul]

Punishment: SC gets his stones checked by Nurse Gertrude "Iron Grip" Eisenfaust.

Crime: Male SC keeps trying to use one pathetic pickup line after another to a female customer at a laundromat.

[Kristev]

Punishment: She stuffs him in the nearest washing machine and sets it to hot, making sure to put plenty of soap to clean him up.

Crime: SC is so angry at the library for not having a wet bar, and so stupid that he believes he must pay for books instead of checking them out, that he steals the books he wants from the library. He just walks out the door with them, without checking them out. He's not even going to return them! Shouldn't something be done?

[darkroxas45]

Punishment: BOOKMAN defender of books throws a bookarang at the man clocking him out cold and then the man comes to in a jail cell charged with theft, public intoxication, and public indecency since he forgot his pants at home.

Crime: SC talks on their cell phone during a movie being as loud as can be then complains to the theater it was too loud to have a conversation and they should be given a refund and a remote to control the volume of the movie forever.

[Kristev]

Punishment: He is required to pay for the refunds for everyone else in the movie, who glare and glower at him angrily. They are also permitted to play ball with his phone.

Crime: At Peaceful Farms petting zoo, everyone goes there to have a good time and relax with the sweet, cute animals and their careful, loving tenders. So what could possibly go wrong? Well, here comes the Nuclear family, who are very explosive and can't get along with each other, or, for that matter, anyone else. Every single member is like their own ticking atom bomb, so if you put them together . . . Someone defuse this situation, quick!

Alt crime: Tina Ger is at it again. This time, she and her drunken friends are in a car at the storage building. The sign says 5 miles per hour, because of all the blind turns at the storage compound. Tina and her friends insist that it said 50. Now they've hit someone.

[cindybubbles]

Punishment: Rich Bastard strikes again, buying the entire zoo and shooing everyone out, threatening to sue anyone who stayed.

Alt Punishment: Tina and her friends unfortunately hit Rich Bastard's wife. Mr. and Mrs. Bastard then press charges and hire the best lawyer in the world to represent them in their lawsuit against Tina Ger and her friends, and win millions of dollars in damages.

Crime: The Bastard family celebrate their victory against Tina Ger by crashing her favourite mall with all the animals that came with the zoo that Rich Bastard just bought. Panic ensues! Somebody do something!

[Kristev]

Punishment: Rich Bastard becomes hit by lawsuits by everyone who was harmed by the animals, reducing him and his family to Poor Bastard.

Crime: SC doesn't like her coffee. So she spits it out at the bar, all over other people's coffees.

[catcul]

Punishment: She better hope that Kaldi, the knife-throwing coffee grower, doesn't find out about it.

Crime: SC throws his napkin at the waitress to get her attention.

[Kristev]

Punishment: He gets her attention all right, along with the bouncer's. Bye bye.

Crime: Consumer goes to Subwet and pays for his meal with a gift card. The problem is, he leaves with his food before the staff discovers that the card is completely depleted. He's already out the door and they can't catch up. Someone stop the sandwich-oriented cousin to Hamburgler.