Dear (not) Depression, Go The Fuck Away .. NOW.
No love, a very depressed MOT.
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Dear self,
Please remember to charge your laptop BEFORE your university lecture at 9am, not as soon as you get to uni! Kind of embarrassing....
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Dear client I take calls for,
You can stop dicking us around now. Seriously, enough. It's not funny, and even in this climate of not being able to find new jobs, you're going to lose some good people because of all the stupid little hoops you make us jump through. I could put up with the crap from the company I actually work for, and even your sucky customers, if you weren't piling on even more suck.
Signed,
If I were single I'd quit and just take my chances out there...
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Dear Random Dude in Parking Lot (and everyone else who does this): It's rude and creepy to stare at people. Stop it. I took the trash out--so what?? I don't know why that is soooo interesting to you, unless your life is that boring. I hate being stared at, and it happens at least twice a week. It makes me feel self-conscious.
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Dear Ms Teflon,
DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!!!!
CAN YOU NOT READ? OR WAS THE CELL-PHONE STUCK IN YOUR EAR 24/7 SOMEHOW IMPEDING YOUR VISION??
When I typed that note on Customer R's account saying HE IS NOT ENTITLED TO EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT, HE RETIRED IN 2008!!!! It meant EXACTLY WHAT IT SAID! So WHY the HELL did you give him the discount anyway!!!
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Dear anxiety,
GO AWAY!! I hate you! How is it that sometimes my days off from work are even worse than my work days because you manage to fill in the gaps somehow??
I *will* conquer you one day...
Headed for the nut house,
Me
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Dear brain,
SHUT THE
UP. I don't need to hear about all the ways my most recent attempt at social interaction could go wrong.
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Dear A,
They were serving catfish and spaghetti in the cafeteria today. You were an amazing person and I still miss you a lot sometimes.
Always,
Your girl in skirts and work boots
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You know who you are,
Yeah, I'm beyond angry at you.
I think you're in for a not so pleasant surprise next time we talk.
Pissed off past words,
--me
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Dear Mom:
I know our financial situation is tenuous, I do. And I'm doing what I can to help (actually, I've done far more than was needed and put myself in a financial pickle by doing so, anyone else would have called in the nearly $40K in 'loans' a year ago). But...
Please stop interrogating me about holiday presents. One or two small things (coffee, a few used video games) I bought with my own money, yes. Some are presents I bought for others that were paid for in October, backordered and are just now getting to me. Others were bought for me; I do have a public wish list on Amazon. I showed you the packing slip (why do I have to?) for the Twilight Zone box set that just landed, and it is a gift packing slip. No, I don't know who got it for me.
Why is this even an issue?
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Dear Roommate,
For two years I have quietly put up with your loud ass friends showing up at 8 in the morning. Imagine my surprise when you whined about our new roommate being loud at 2 in the afternoon.
Seriously? At least he's polite enough to wait to have guests over until everyone else in the house is awake. Can you boast the same thing?
-Truthhurts
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"Dearest" Clyde,
I refuse to be in the same room as your brother, Doofus (not his real name, but does describe him).
I do no like being farted upon. I also do not like it, that when he was called on it, he never. apologized. Of course I'm pissed!
I guess Doofus can fart on you next time.
Not going to MIL & FIL Rose's house for Christmas,
Caly
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Dear DVR person,
I have had this RX for my add meds for 2 days now. Why oh why are you NOT calling me back to tell me what I need to do now to get it paid for. Obviously the doc thinks I need it and I KNOW I need it. Get off your butt and at least answer your bloody email.
Distractedly,
Pepper
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Dear motherfucking prick,
I don't know why the fuck you thought that taking a shower this morning was such a great idea KNOWING I was waiting to take mine.
You sit on your fat ass or sleep all day. I have to work.
What. The. Fuck.
You even admitted that it was wrong to take a huge long shower knowing I was waiting.
I wake up four hours before I have to go to work. I have stuff to do before work. I take my shower at (more or less) the same time every fucking day. You would know this if you weren't so damn fucking oblivious.
Fuck off.
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Dear adult females,
When you use the "word" "bestie" in a sentence I cannot take you seriously. That "word" is best left to girls in high school.
Thank you,
The women who want to be taken seriously.
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