Dear....

[Evil Queen]

Love, Peppergirl

Dear Peppergirl,

Thank you again for including the pictures of our oh so darling fellow poster.

Truly,
-EQ

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear my new bed--

I love you.

--a VERY happy me



************************************************** **************


Dear headache--

Thanks for going away, without me having to threaten violence.

--an even happier me


************************************************** **************


Dear paperwork at work--

Please stop being so sucky that I have to make you much more complicated then you are. I think my boss thinks my old bosses were crazy to make me AM, which is why I was hired for my current store.

--a very perplexed me

[Trayol]

Dear Homework,

Please finish yourself as I no longer wish to.


Dear computer program,

Work, blast you, Work.


Dear inner voice,

Shut up. Stop speaking your truthful lies to me. You can start again when school is over.


Dear dumbasses outside my window blasting music,

This is why you are failing your classes. I hope you enjoy your own sub-mediocrity.


Dear crazylegs

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear JC Penney--

For the love of God, STOP advertising earrings that I cannot buy on your website, and I would be willing to bet that you don't actually have in the stores either.

I would be willing to buy two pairs of these gorgeous earrings, but it seems you don't want to sell them, since they don't exist.

You suck long and you suck hard. (/Sean Connery on SNL)

[Becks]

Dear dreams,

Please come back. When I have you I know I actually had a deep sleep.

I need it.

Besides, I like my dreams...well, most of them. That recurring dream about the tide coming in?? Please keep avoiding me. I don't like you.

--me

[monolayth]

Dear everyone on CS,

This is my 100th post yay!

love,
bored monolayth.


weird, it was supposed to say 100, and it still says 99.

Dear post counter,

You suck.

confused about how it is still 99.

[iradney]

Dear cellphone

You're a 3G phone, you're in 3G reception, I have 3G activated on my SIM card - WHY WON'T YOU DIAL UP AT 3G?? I blame your drivers. *sigh*

wishing I had a decent internet connection while away from the office so I can actually work

rads

[gunsage]

Dear Wireless PS2 Controller,

Why? I mean really...WHY? I KNOW you were centered when I turned the PS2 on, YOU know you were centered, AND you proceeded to play along quite normally until about, oh, five minutes in in the middle of a GODDAMN'D WAR to decide "Hey you know what'd be fun? Yeah, let's kill the calibration randomly and have your character creep upwards which, while not the middle of combat can be remedied quite quickly and easily, but in the middle of combat causes my character to whip his sword all retarded-like upwards! That sounds like GREAT FUN!"

SCREW YOU! You SAW what I did to your "brother" in a fit of rage. You KNOW what I'm capable of! Better RECOGNIZE.



Dear Cat,

Old as you may be, you're still a MORON. Knock it off!



Dear Decker,

You may be an awesome game, lackluster as you are. You may be THE awesome game...at least right now. When I use quick save, it's because I want to load up in case I screw up, which is likely even though my stats and such are high. So when I go to QUICK LOAD but somehow that turns into QUICK SAVE AFTER AN ALARM HAS BEEN TRIGGERED IN A MISSION WHERE THINGS MUST NOT BE TAMPER EVIDENT...well...that's kind of a problem. Especially when it seems to occur regularly!

Sincerely, and by that, I mean ya'll can go **** yourselves,



Gun Sage

[Becks]

Dear monolayth,

Posts in Off Topic don't count towards your total.

I look forward to seeing your 100th post elsewhere on the board!!

Love,

Becky

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear counciling,

Your hold music is strange. And it makes me nervous. This is because your holding music (and the lady saying to hold) sounds exactly like mine. While I'm fairly sure I didn't get transfered to myself, the phone system has done weirder things before.

Me

P.S. I only recently realized that my line had hold music actually. Who pics this shit out? It's weird and airy like spring and makes me want to throw things at people despite my fairly good mood.

P.P.S. Damnit it was admissions I was supposed to talk to anyway.

[Igorina]

Dear Mississippi River,

Please stop rising.

Sincerely,
Igorina who lives in the shadow of your levees.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Dear neck & knees & guts & face,

I am aware I botched up the moonsault to a spectacular degree. I have learned my lesson that doing wrestling moves off a desk onto a metal newspaper floor is a shitload more painful than doing them onto a squishy person. No more wrestling moves in the office unless I'm beating someone up, I promise.

Ouchies,
Mysty

[protege]

Dear Morris and Alana...

Would you two *please* quit leaking oil out of your wheel bearings? I know that they're a bit worn, but give it a rest already! Keep it up, and I'll banish you both to the garage, instead of the nice, warm basement you've become accustomed to. I mean, come on--the '59 is much older than both of you, and it behaves itself!

--Pro



(Morris and Alana are two of my shop vehicles, a light blue 1970s wagon, and a sort-of-yellow '88 version, both by Radio-Flyer)

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Bitch,

Guess what? It doesn't work like that. He really really doesn't like being told who he can and can't be friends with. I was trying to make a nice gesture, not "stay in his life." You need to realize I never left his life. Nor will I in the future. Either get over it or move on. Your games aren't working and I only play nice for so long. Playing nice now is making me want to punch you in the face. Quite simply, back off. I trump you on this and you don't want to push too hard. I'm not the only one that's going to be telling you to fuck off.

Love,
Me

P.S. If we do hang out, please don't spend the whole time fishing for information or trying to trick me into saying what you think I feel. It won't work because you're wrong.

[Kusanagi]

Dear Women of CustomersSuck -

I am still single. :P

~Soon to be doomed