Dear....

[KiaKat]

Dear Persephone,

Much luck!

-Hates Moving

Dear Mono,

Congrats!

-Trying to Talk the Other Half Into Starting a Family NOW

Dear Cold

GO AWAY! 16F is BAD. VERY BAD.

No love,
-The One Who is Never Cold is Now Cold.

[monolayth]

Dear everyone,
Thanks!
mono,

dear kiakat,

actually was trying to not get preg. on birthcontrol. though no less welcomed.

when i told the daddy he ran out to get me the meds for the nausua and bought me roses, has now been walking around with a smirk on his face.

goodluck,
mono.

[KiaKat]

Dear Mono,

Of course he is! He now has proof that his sperm are mighty indeed!

Hugs and chicken broth,

-Kia

[Becks]

Dear Mono,

Congrats.

Take it as a sign.

--me

[Lace Neil Singer]

Dear English Weather,

Why do you have to be so shit all the time? It's not enough to be nasty drizzle, you have to be gearing up for another cold snap. Please quit with the terribleness, as January is depressing enough without freezing to death all the time.

[MannersMakethMan]

Dear Sister,

This isn't a good sign is it? Less than a week. I wonder what I'm going to find tomorrow when I get back. Something trivial would be nice for a change. No, I see it's not going to be. Well, that doesn't worry me any, there's a solution to everything if you can bend the rules enough. We'll find out which ones give way.

Chin up until tomorrow,

Your brother


Dear trains,

Please run according to plan tomorrow. Something tells me I'm needed back home. If you've got to muck up, leave it until I come back.

Yours faithfully,

Future traveller

[AdminAssistant]

Dear driving coordinators,

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou THANK YOU for lessening my driving load for next week. I don't know if you somehow realized that I already have two other assignments, or if you let up on everyone, or what, but I'm very very grateful. Yes, I still have two days of 7:00 am to 11:00 pm, but at least I now get a tiny break.

*snuggles*

Dear other TA,

You're my friend and all, but one more word about how you 'deserve' to put in less work next week because you're writing your dissertation and I'm going to freakin' explode. You don't 'deserve' shit. We are ALL supposed to be contributing EQUALLY to hosting this thing, and you deliberately wiggled your way to the cushiest assignment. And do you ever wonder if the reason people are bitchy to you might have anything to do with your craptacular attitude? I swear, you're the most negative person I've ever ever met.

Dear 'guests' next week,

Attention! You are undergraduates competing in a regional theatre festival. You are not special snowflakes. I don't care about your project, your show, your design, how long it took you to get here, or how many Broadway shows you're going to work on when you grow up. Years of rejection have made me cranky and bitter, and putting in a crazy amount of hours volunteering to 'host' all of you only exacerbates that feeling. Also, I will not buy you beer. Just go AWAY. Shoo. Scat. GIT!

~ Cranky volunteer at the host university

Dear Cramps,

Why didn't the naproxen get rid of you? It ALWAYS does! go away go away go away!!!!

*hmph*

[monolayth]

Dear everyone,

I know I will be saying and thinking this a bunch the next couple months, but, Can I be a Sea horse???

Please? Pretty Please!

Unconfortable,
mono.

[persephone]

Dear mono,

I wish! Sea horses have it easy!

Persephone -- who feels like a whale and definitely has sympathy. 10 weeks to go!

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Skull,

THE BRAIN!!! IT HURTS!!!! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP!!!!!!

In AGONY DAMMIT,
RW

Dear Pills,

KICK IN DAMN YOU!

Guh,
RW

Dear Winter,

I never said I wanted you. LEAVE ME ALONE! Quit STALKING ME.

Needs the Summer,
RW

Dear Helen-Glen's-Wife,

I swear, if your hubby doesn't stop sexually harassing me I'm going to do something about it. Involving Lye, a chainsaw, a porcelain bathtub, and a boat. It's not cute anymore.

The cutie behind the counter,
RW

Dear Dad,

Next time Glen comes in I'm CALLING YOU and you BETTER GET YOUR ASS TO MY WORK TO HELP ME DEFEND WHAT'S LEFT OF MY HONOUR!

-Your Son, who's starting to get really paranoid.

Dear Somebody,

I used to fight with EQ about getting laid. Now that she does it and I don't, I have no one to fight with.

I know I'm generally strung up pretty high and I need to learn to just frikken chill, but I don't think getting laid is going to do it.

What I really need, is to be able to blow stuff up again.

Really. Honest.

Someone get me World of Warcraft and two wireless air cards (because Verizon aircards only let you have a 5GB limit and WoW would kill that in the first set of updates, so I'd need two for a total of 10GB at 120$ a month, unless someone knows how I can get WoW going without having to pay that much every damned month**) before I pop.

Or at least allow the cell phone antenna to go back to functioning so I can go back to playing Guild Wars (And kill Charr!!). Whichever's easiest.

-Starting to TWITCH again,
RW


**Footnote: I'm constantly mobile, so no landlines, or cable lines, and Hugesnet (Satellite) has too much of a lag in order for me to be able to participate in raids. Not that I'd do much in the way of raiding. I am a solo-player most of the time, anyhow. I would like to play again, though. Gods, I hate being the only RVer on this board. >.>

[RootedPhoenix]

RW,

I'm sorry. *offers herbal tea* Not being able to blow stuff up is hard.

And as for weird, creep-you-out people...there's always catapults. How you choose to use them is your decision.

--RP

Dear body,

Grrr.

--Me.

[Nurian]

Dear Couples of the World,

Stop hating. I have enough hate for all of us.

[Evil Queen]

Dear RW,

What does getting laid have to do with anything?

Confused,
-EQ

PS. If I was there, I'd be nice and defend your honour.

[Dreamstalker]

Dear USPS:

I want my proton gun parts. NOW.

I would think that an insured widget would be a bit less susceptible to being sucked into limbo. The sender's post office claims it was scanned in my town and this was delivered on December freaking third.. Nope. My PO says that a pickup slip was left...I never got one. The only way it could be considered delivered after a slip is left is if I signed for it at the post office, which obviously did not happen. The sender never received it back as unclaimed, so where the hell is it?!

It's a bunch of cast resin bits. You can't build a dirty bomb out of resin...at least I don't think you can. Trust me, I'm not going to do anything evil with this stuff, so give it back. Please?

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear life,

STOP IT. $80 is not what I want to pay to replace my laptop's power cord. Cough it up.

--Me.