Dear....

[blas]

Dear American Idol:

Why do I even care? Why do I continue to watch or even desire for certain people to be kicked off, and hope for certain ones to stay?

WHY do I care?

Blas

[Becks]

Dear Kusanagi,

Stop teasing the engaged woman.

Thank you.

I am willing, however, to add you to the male harem if you'd like.

Sincerely,

Becky

[Amethyst Hunter]

Dear Allergies,

YOU SUCK. I HATE YOU. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Me

[morgana]

Dear Kusangi,

May I be the first to formally propose?

Morgana

[iradney]

Dear Trainees

You're so cute in your eagerness. I know you're a little shy now, but by the time I'm done with you, we'll be well acquainted.

Love
rads

[Andara Bledin]

Dear Kus,

You really like tempting fate (and the CS femmes) don't you?

Be careful, because I only live about 100 miles from your shop, and I know how to use Google (among other things) to track a person down.

Signed,

Andara, who is not a stalker, really

[draftermatt]

Dear Boss,

The crap you don't remember is amazing. I come in this morning to a note from you asking me to call you to about the site visit we did back in Jan. The one you said we'd wait for them to call us for a report, so I put the notes on your desk.

Yeah, I found the notes on your desk where I left them all those months ago, and then you tell me we should type up a report. Wow.

Dear Grandma,

It saddens me that you're ready to die. I understand losing your memory like you have been is scary, and your family and friends are scared too, as we can see how badly you are fading away. I mean the other week you couldn't remember how to get to Wal-Mart, you forgot how to get on the internet, you forgot telling your doctor that Mom was forbidden to talk to him (that way the only person who could do something about it was Pat who lives in Boston, so nothing would get done). You even forgot you have arthritis that you've had since before I was born.

But I hate how when I call with a reason (though I just want to check up on you) the conversation turns to death, Heaven, Hell, etc. You're the only one who would discuss it with me as a kid, so I know that's why you turn to me to talk about it now.

I'd say we're not ready, but it's not true. I've been preparing myself for this since you started to lose it. I'll miss you greatly when you go, but I think what makes me saddest is that none of my children will get to meet any of their great-grandparents on my side of the family.

[monolayth]

Dear becky,

Thank you for telling me why my post did not go up. Now I am smart and educated....

happily,
Soon to be making that 100th post about the weirdness with job training.


Dear Kusangi,

Ever thought of moving to Nebraska?

monolayth

[Becks]

Dear Monolayth,

You're welcome.

Anything to help a person out.

Becky

[iradney]

Dear Manager A

It's kinda creepy that you're sitting in on the training and butting in when you feel like it. It unbalances and inhibits me, and trainees can pick up on that.
Don't you have a new office to sort out? Meetings to organise? A pregnant wife to spend time with?

URGH
rads

[Tanasi]

Dear Middle Daughter,
I think you're making a mistake by "lending" your "fiance" money for his tuition from the money set aside for your tuition. Didn't his previous fiance also pay his tuition right before they broke up? I will not nor will your mother co-sign a student loan for him, if his parents won't co-sign maybe that should tell you something.
I'm trying real hard to keep my mouth shut about this boy but the more I get to know him the less I care for him. I don't think just because he's in law school makes him all that smart, and if I hear him call me an ignorant redneck hillbilly again because I disagree with him I will take him apart.
I don't ask much of you except that you be respectful to your grandparents, your mother, your siblings and me. I know I can be a little selfish at times but I have reasons for that selfishness, so the next time I catch lover-boy in just his boxers and you in just a t-shirt in my house and my recliner, I will bust your butt!! I know you're almost 21 but I won't and don't condone that behaviour from anyone. BTW whatever possessed you to think I wouldn't say something? I don't believe for a second that nothing happened or was going to happen. You were nearly naked and I saw where his hands were as I entered the room. You're hurriedly making yourself and the boy unwelcome. BTW this is my home and your mother's home, you choose to move out and that doesn't give you leave to come and go as you please. Until our death you have no finacial stake in this house nor this farm it is ours and ours alone. BTW I don't make threats and you know that, I mean what I say, notice I'm not laughing.

Your angry Dad,


Dear Neighbor with the Chow dog,
I have repeatidly asked you to keep your dog out of my pasture and away from my cattle and mules. I don't care that your dog is trying to "play" with them, they're cows and not really that smart. They just see an aggressive dog that is harrassing them. Having said that if I can catch the dog I will hold it for animal control, if I can't I will shoot it. I can't afford anymore calfs without switches on their tails. Your dog is causing damage to my cattle and you've been warned several times and there is a leash law that even applies to snakes.

PO'ed Neighbor,


Dear Tennet in Apt 82,
I took a chance on you and against my better judgement leased you apartment 82. You leased one apartment and with that comes one parking space and that space has your apartment number on it (co-incidense??) The lease plainly states that numbered spaces are for the tennet of the designated apartment either you, your boy-friend, or one of your guests can part in that space and that space only. All others must part in the marked visitors spaces or risk having their car towed at their expense. All the close-by visitors spaces are full? Well that's not my problem there's more spaces around the club-house at the bottom of the hill. Don't want to park there it's too far to walk? One more complaint from another tennent that you, your boyfriend, or your guests are parking in their spaces will result in your eviction.
Also the rent is due on the 5th no exceptions. On the sixth there is a $10 late fee and everyday afterwords an additional $10 is assessed, and if you havn't paid by the 15th consider yourself evicted and you have one week to move. No my wife or anyone in my employee make an exception for you, only I or my Mom can make that exception and Mom says she didn't.
Also #2 state law says you can't store or use a grill on a walkway or balcony of an apartment building. I didn't make the law nor do I agree with it but we both must obey it because the fire marshall will fine us if we don't.

Angry Landlord,


Dear Tennet in Apartment 82 Neandertal boyfriend,
One more threat real or not toward any other tennet, maintenance personel, or myself will result in your explusion and banning from the property. I don't care if your girl friend lives there and you think you have a right to visit. I manage the property and I decide who is allowed. Should I ban you and you return you will go to jail for trespassing and I will make it a point to be at your court date.

your girl friend's angry landlord,

[Becks]

Dear headache,

Please go away. Please? :lip quiver:

Why do you always come to me when I spend time outside in the fresh air? It's annoying. It makes me want to stay holed up in the house. Blah.

Becks

[blas]

Dear weather:

Why must I work 3rd shift? Now the sun is shining so bright during the day and it's so warm and nice.....yet I must sleep........and it's only going to get nicer and warmer.....arg.

Blas


Dear Creepy:

I do not want to go out with you. I'm thanking the powers that be that the bigwigs ordered the new machines to be placed right by the windows so now you can't watch me walking down the hallway and stare sadly at me. I have a boyfriend, I told you about another girl who has a crush on you, you don't think she's good enough......sorry buddy, Deal or No Deal. You chose No Deal. Stop staring at me.....and if you EVER hunt me down in the hallway again, I swear I'll tell security and get you in lots of trouble.

Blas

[Slytovhand]

Dear Blas,

Good to see you back

Slyt

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear plants:

Please stop masturbating your pollen all over the place. My sinuses feel like Niagara Falls.

Sneezingly yours,
Irv