Dear....

[Misanthropical]

Dear BossMan,

is with having us come to work two hours on Christmas eve and two hours on New Year's eve? What brain dead boss of your came up with that? We want to know so we can apply flame thrower justice on his ass. Yes, we get paid for the whole day, but damn it, I want to be with my family. My family always comes first and if the bosses don't like it they can kiss my big fat Irish ASS!


Dear friends on CS,

I'm going to see my new pain specialist on Friday. Wish me well and hope with me that he isn't a slimeball.


Dear who ever is readoing this,

This rant was brought to you by Ambien, which can make me ramble in person and on the boards.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Red clothed Phantom (Legend of Zelda, Phantom Hourglass) in the Temple of the Ocean King,

Fuck. You. STOP TAKING MY CRYSTALS! Those are MINE so that I may get through this dungeon AGAIN so THAT I MAY DESTROY YOUR BLOODY ASSES!

I swear to Dog, I will find CHEAT CODES to beat you with if you don't stop! I'm having to redo this a 3rd time! I GIVE UP FOR THE NIGHT!

-Hating you but wanting to molest the elf-boy,
RW

[AdminAssistant]

Dear Students,

E-mailing me asking, essentially, "What do I have to make on the final to pass?" is like saying, "How can I get by in this class with doing as little work as possible?". And it's insulting. And you, who are not even my student, who asked "Is the final hard?" got a smartass response. Because it was a smartass question. And you can kiss my smartass, because I'm tired of dealing with lazyass undergrads!

And, you guys took your dear sweet time getting your papers to me, and I'm going to take my dear sweet time grading them. SUCK IT. Because, believe it or not, I have stuff to do, too! I have finals and final projects and all of that.

~ Grumpily yours,
The TA

[iradney]

Dear self

Keep it up with the gymming and eating properly. Give it three months - you'll see it's totally worth it.

Rads

[KiaKat]

Dear illness,

Please please please please please be just a cold, and not strep. I can't deal with strep right now. And please don't turn into bronchitis. I've had to deal with that far too often the last few years.

With no love at all,

Your incubator.

Dear non-customers,

NO SOLICITATION! And why the hell can't you read the sign that says 'PLEASE RING BELL?' If you break my door, or my lock, by pulling on it with all your Napoleon-like strength, I will hunt you down and make you feel the same way you make my door feel. Stop it.

Insincerely,

The Manager.

[Lioness Blackfire]

Dear Dad and Lil' Bro,

You two suck. You suck for interrupting me during the last minute and a half of my show, you suck for getting mad at me when I stuttered out a "Bwuh, yuh, hold on a second,", and you suck for leaving and not replying when I called down the stairs for you not two minutes later, then ordering pizza without me!

But Dad, you suck MAJOR FAT-ASS ORC BALLS for then LYING to Mom and saying that I was "very rude", snapped at you, and yelled at you!

Fuck you!
Your totally pissed off Daughter / Sister

[Shangri-laschild]

T,

Not that it's any of your damn business but I'm doing great. I adore E. She's nothing like you and has no problem with me what so ever. I'm content knowing that you aren't really as happy as you try to make it seem like. Oh yeah. And I won. He's still my friend and you're gone.

Sometimes irritated but mostly amused,
Becca

[Rapscallion]

if the bosses don't like it they can kiss my big fat Irish ASS!

Dear Misanthropical

Do I get first dibs?

PS, thanks for the straight line.

Rapscallion

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear Azen,
Dear God... what do I have to do for you to figure it out... do a broadway style song and dance... I'm GAY, so no, I don't think the girl from Idaho is attractive... I can tell you that she is good looking, but not attraction.

Dear cute guy who sat across from me in the tax class,
too bad I'm pretty sure your straight, but it was nice looking at you

Dear cute guy who sat 2 rows up in economics,
ditto

Dear Alan Tudyk,
I think you are now officially one of my most favorite actors... though I must say, it is creepy how good of a job you did playing a pedophile in CSI...

[kaetchen]

Dear Co-worker,

Yeah. I know it's a wig. Yeah, I change it sometimes, but for crying out loud. Why do you have to make such a big deal about it and then go "Ooops. I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."? It happened more than once today when people asked, you just jumped in and said what was up.


...
Me

[Amethyst Hunter]

Dear turdburglar who bought the doujinshis I'd been trying to save for,

You suck. I hate and envy you.

- Me

--

Dear Dad,

STFU. You're getting on my last few nerves.

- Me

--

Dear Nose,

I HATE YOU.

- Me

--

Dear Life,

Ditto.

- Me

[draftermatt]

Dear Mark Texiera,

Please come to play for the Orioles, we all want you here so badly.

Just imagine a line up Brian Roberts, Adam Jones, Nick Markakis, You, Aubrey Huff, Luke Scott, Matt Wieters (till he's ready to bat 5th), Melvin Mora & Cesar Izturis, if our pitching is just a little better than last year (and it has to be) we're liable to win 85 games, and then more into the next years.

But if you don't want to come to Bmore, please don't go to Washington. Their fans suck, they boo during the national anthem when we say "O" in our own ball park! Not to mention most of their fans are non existent. When the O's play the Nats in DC it's 66% O's fans.

And please for all that is good and holy don't go to Boston or New York. I couldn't stand having to watch you 19 times a year in those uniforms. Or listen to their fans when they swarm Camden.

Know why O's fans stay away when the Yankees/Red Sox come to town? Because the "fans" that come are mostly bandwagon people that would get ran out of New York or Boston. I respect real fans of those teams, not these idiots who show up and destroy Camden Yards.

Please stay in Anaheim if you aren't coming to Baltimore, I could stomach that.

Sincerely,

All Orioles Fans.

[Tanasi]

Dear So-called future SIL,
To call you a man would be an insult to the male of the species, you are a pussy and will only stand up to someone if they're not in the room. So the next time I hear you call me a damned fool don't be suprised if I toss you out of the house. Yes I'm a red-neck but even if I wasn't I won't be talked to in such a manner in my own home. You do not live here, I'm only somewhat polite to you for my daughters sake but she also doesn't live here so watch yourself.

Your PO'd future FIL

Dear Middle-daughter,
You can do somemuch better than this guy, your little sister is more of a man than this clown. He's wrecked your car twice and both times it was his fault and both time you had to use your saving to fix your car. You also know even with his so-called law-degree he'll never earn a living cause the boy has a whole lot of quit in him. You should know by now that you'll have to make the living for both of you, please dump this clown before it's too late.

Your disappointed Father

Dear Oldest Daughter,
Smack some sense into your sister, you dislike that goon worse than I.

Your Dad

Dear Oldest Son,
When you come home for Christmas you're gonna have to turn down the Hoo-rah gungho stuff a lot. I still out rank you and everyother jar-head and deck-ape cadet you school with. You've been warned as I don't give our demerits.

Your Dad

Dear Youngest Son,
You're a great boy and son. Keep on being just like you are.

Your Dad

Dear Youngest Daugther,
You're Daddy's Fairy Princess but don't push me too far you'll not like the results. Other than that you're also a great girl and I've very proud of you.

Daddy

[Evil Queen]

Dear Tanasi,

I'd like to beat up that future Dud-in-law if you'll give me a go.

A fellow redneck (from North Carolina!),
-The Evil Queen.



Dear New Job,

I hated you yesterday but today was a good day and I'm starting to like you again. See you on Monday!

-AMS

[crazylegs]

Dear A,

I do rather hope the drugs *do* work, I think things will be so much easier for you if your hormones do indeed settle down a little.

Yours, hopefully

Crazylegs