Silly Kid stories

[fireheart]

One from my mentor teacher today:

She was trying to show the kids how a rainbow works (they wanted to know and yes, she somehow did it...the class is 4-6 year old kids). Unfortunately the sun kept fading in and out, making it harder to do. After a while, some of the kids began to sing "I can sing a rainbow" until the whole class was singing it...in an effort to bring the sun back.

[Jester]

Khan: "Play that f***ing music white boy!"

Me: "FUNKY! Play that FUNKY music!"

I'm pretty sure I've posted this story on this site, but I can't find it anywhere on this thread, so at the risk of being repetitive, I'll tell it again here....

Circa 1974, a lovely cul-de-sac in the middle of Suburbia...

A wonderful 4-year old boy (hi there!) is trying to hang out with his 8 year old sister (The Witch) and their next door neighbor, who was about the same age as his sister. This was a mistake, as the two girls clearly wanted nothing to do with the little bugger. But finally, to his delight, they relented and taught him a new song: Yankee Doodle Dandy, which the boy was already familiar with, but with all the words changed so that they started with the letter F: Fankee Foodle Fandy. The young boy found doing the whole song like that quite a challenging tongue twister, but he kept at it until he got it right. And kept singing it, wherever he went.

One of the places he went happened to be somewhere in the cul-de-sac where he encountered the neighbor's father, who heard him singing this song. Including the new line that replaced the original "stuck a feather in his cap..."

Yeah....

Despite the young boy being only 4 and having no idea what he was singing, this new version, with the one choice word, offended the neighbor's father enough that he went to talk to the young boy's father, The Bearded Ogre. Horrified at what had happened, The Bearded Ogre summoned the young boy. And by summoned, I mean The Bearded Ogre thundered his name loud enough to bring down passing commercial airliners.

Frightened at the earth-shaking summons from his father, the young boy went immediately to him to see what was the matter. Upon which The Bearded Ogre made it abundantly and sternly clear to the frightened young boy that's he should never, never, NEVER sing that song ever again, in public or private, under penalty of Really Bad Things.

Suitably cowed, the young boy promised that he would never do so, ever ever ever, and ran away to hide from the world for a while.

It wasn't until some time later in life that the young boy realized what part of the song had caused such a ruckus, and that his older sister had almost certainly set him up.

Current day: the relationship between the young boy and The Witch, now both grown adults, is not much different, though of course, he is no longer a clueless toddler willing to take her at her word and do whatever she decrees...not that that has stopped her from attempting to order him around from time to time, forgetting when she does that he is not only much older and wiser than he was when they were children, but also that he is now much larger than her.

Silly Witch.

[AnaKhouri]

Today Son decided this one playground structure was his castle. These little tiny kids tried to climb on and he told them to go away (no, I did not let him get away with that). A little while later...

Son: "I'm thinking about ham."
Me: "Why?"
Son: "Those babies...I want to make them into ham."
Me: "That's not where ham comes from."
Son: "Where does it come from?"
Me: "Dead pigs."
Random little girl who had wandered up behind us: "Ham is dead pigs?! Ewwwww!"
Me: "Oops."

[NecessaryCatharsis]

Have to take home a work truck for a few days (bad car!) and my son gets very upset because 'the windows don't go down'. Took me a while to realize that my 6 year old, who can figure out remotes with 100 buttons even though he can't really read yet, who can work other peoples dishwashers, who can figure out how to put together flat pack furniture, couldn't figure out to turn the handle to roll down the window, he's only ever seen power windows.

I feel very old.

[mathnerd]

I like my steaks quite rare, and frequently make the joke that if it's not still mooing, it's overcooked. We had steak for dinner tonight, and my 11 year old was in a rather silly mood.

He ate his dinner while pretending his steak was mooing and running away from his fork, and cackling evilly every time he put a bite in his mouth. I'm not certain if I should laugh or get very, very worried.

[fireheart]

Little conversation between a CW and a 5-year-old kid we had today:

CW was doing leg presses and lifting him up.

Kid: I can see the world from up here!
CW: Can you?
Kid: Yep! (he could barely see over my CW's head )
Random kid: Hey <kid> can you see New York?
Kid: Yes!
Me, CW and Manager:

The same kid also decided that we couldn't see him under a green sari/scarf thing and bolted around the gym with it on, looking like Charlie Brown had rolled through a moss patch

[fireheart]

This is more of a contextual moment, but I found it absolutely hilarious.

We have this kid at one of my services who is borderline ADHD, or at the very least, has some behavioural issues. He's on Ritalin, which is currently being suspended due to us receiving the wrong amount and the parents needing to get the correct amount (he was meant to be on 5mg, the tablets were 10mg, we do not have the facilities to split the tablets correctly and no, a pill splitter is not always that reliable).

While he was on Ritalin: he described at great length how he hated school, didn't like his teacher, found the work "boring" and wanted to shred his maths book in his daddys shredder. He then kept asking me how school would help him be a "cop" (turned out that daddy was a security guard).

While he's been off Ritalin: on Tuesday, he offered to help me cut up the food for afternoon tea. He then proceeded to sound out some labels around the room and talked to me at great length about his school plans and what we were doing. On Wednesday, he was still a bit crazy, but when I came in, he was practicing his reading off the "passports" he'd been given for the activity they'd done prior to my arrival. (he needed some help with more difficult words) Somehow, I think the Ritalin is making it WORSE rather than better!

I also have another kid at the service who has Sensory Processing Disorder and can be a little bit grabby/clingy at times. He's insanely adorable and practically attached himself to me when I walked in. It then ended with "I missed you while I was on holiday <fireheart>".

Also, despite the fact that I hadn't worked at <main site> since Thursday last week...
...despite the fact that we'd had a four-day weekend.
...despite the fact that several of the kids I encountered on Tuesday had NOT been at the service in the previous week...

I wound up getting mobbed by about 10 kids the second I walked in .

I'm gonna miss them when I move interstate

[AnaKhouri]

Putting Khan to bed, he says, "I'm going to talk to God."

As I turn out the light, I hear him whisper, "God, how much do you weigh?"

[Jester]

A disturbingly famous story in my family is how I once said I was going to grow up to be The Moon. And yes, I really did say that. It was one of those moments where you're trying to say two different things, and your brain just jumbles them together in the stupidest way possible. In this case, I was trying to say I was going to be an astronaut and go to the moon, but my brain decided to have some fun with me. And my family won't shut up about it.

[fireheart]

Tried to explain to one of the kids I take care of that I'd be moving interstate and why.

She looks at me and then goes "so you'll have to put up with his stinky socks. And his stinky clothing."

[AnaKhouri]

We told Khan about his coming sibling. I told him the baby can hear us, so all day he's been leaning down to my stomach and saying, "Baby, I love you."

Then he wanted to sing a song to the baby. He leaned down and began, "This girl is on fiiiiyer..."

[wolfie]

A disturbingly famous story in my family is how I once said I was going to grow up to be The Moon. And my family won't shut up about it.

If they're too annoying about it, just "drop trou" and bend over - presto, you are the "moon".

[fireheart]

We told Khan about his coming sibling. I told him the baby can hear us, so all day he's been leaning down to my stomach and saying, "Baby, I love you."

Then he wanted to sing a song to the baby. He leaned down and began, "This girl is on fiiiiyer..."

I'm sure that'll be coming out at his 18th birthday

"Yes, I remember when Khan sang to me while I was still in the womb...."

[Kal]

This morning my younger daughter wanted to watch the Dr Who episode with "the metal dog". She's just started watching the show and really likes K9, three times was too many though so I said no but we could watch another episode. So she promptly built a den in the living room out of a clothes horse and a blue blanket, said it was her tardis and that she wasn't coming out again, ever! She was most upset by my response of "Cool!" and chucked a barbie out of the den at me.

[Jester]

If they're too annoying about it, just "drop trou" and bend over - presto, you are the "moon".

Unfortunately, in my family, it wouldn't phase anyone.