Silly Kid stories

[fireheart]

Today at the DMV I was waiting to get my photo taken and this lady with her (roughly) 4-year-old kid was waiting for her photo.

When the lady came up, the kid kept peering eagerly over the counter, so the person running the photo booth asked the kid if he wanted a photo too! So the kid got to stand in front of his mum while the person running the booth took his mum's licence photo and did the whole "CHEESE" thing to boot. (the camera is at head height)

Cue gentle laughter from the waiting area

[NecessaryCatharsis]

My 5 year old is learning about government at school, last night..
5 "Are we a democracy or a 'dicktership'?"
me "I guess we kind of have both, but mostly a democracy"
5 "Yah, democracy, yeah!"
me "Why does that make you so happy?"
5 "Because 'dicktership' means everyone has to do what the boss wants, and democracy means the boss has to do what everyone else wants. If this is democracy, and you are the boss, you have to do what I want because I am everyone else!"

Good logic, but still not going to happen.

[AnaKhouri]

Khan: "Daddy, what would happen if a zombie flew a plane?"
Daddy: "What do you think would happen?"
Khan: "It would probably crash, because zombies aren't very smart."

[fireheart]

I really had to bite my tongue down to keep from laughing the other day at work.

Basically, at my main site, there's this one child who I did not get off to a good start with. He may finally be holding off the grudge a little bit thankfully, but that's beside the point.

Anyway, a few of the younger girls had opened a "beauty salon" and were going around asking everyone for treatments (I refused as I was playing Uno at the time). I look over a little while later and the child I've been having trouble with is sitting there, patiently letting the girls colour his hair (with magic marker).

Cue me holding up my uno cards to my face trying really hard to hide the huge grin on my face.

Eta: for further giggles, the kids in question were around 6/7 years old, the boy I've been having issues with is 12-13)

[AnaKhouri]

Khan (4): "What would happen if we were all enormous?"
Me:" We'd be giants. But there wouldn't be enough resources if everyone in the world was huge. There wouldn't be enough to eat."
Khan: "We'd eat each other!"
Me: "Yes, you are our child."

[AnaKhouri]

We read a Peanuts book about how Linus' blanket helps him get through the day.

Me: "You know what helps me get through the day? You."

Khan: "You know what helps me get through the day? Lollipops and soda."

[fireheart]

Random highlights from school holidays:

-One girl at a "rich" all-girls school is currently going through a bossy phase (she's 4-and-a-half: this school has a preschool transition program that she attends). It was kinda funny seeing her tell off a roughly 8-year-old girl during the holidays, although in hindsight, the 8-year-old kinda deserved it. (8-year-old was not making any attempts to play with the other kids and had a very sour attitude towards the other kids in general)

-Another girl had these cute fake glasses that she was using. She kept pretending that she had bad eyesight for the rest of the afternoon, until we went outside. Then she put them away because she didn't want them to get dirty. (the kid does not have bad eyesight and to be honest, can be a bit of a hypochondriac. Yes, her parents are aware of this and are not blaming the staff).

-On an excursion to a toy factory, one of the younger kids and I had a discussion about smoothies out of NOWHERE.

-At another school, one kid kept mixing up "Atlantis" and "Atlantic" and thought that Atlantis was in the Atlantic Ocean. He also kept asking me what the biggest ocean was and didn't believe me when I said it was the pacific. Sad thing is, this kid attends one of the richest schools in the state.

-At the school from the first story, two of the girls from the school holiday program gave me a picture <3

[Jester]

One from my own childhood.

Back in the Seventies, when I was about 6 or 7, my parents were going somewhere. And back then, it wasn't that big a deal to leave a child alone at home for a little while. Also, I wasn't the type to blow things up when unattended. So I guess they kinda trusted me.

Anyway, as they were leaving, they were giving me some parting instructions. At the time, we had an answering machine, for those of you that remember such things. And Mom said, "Jester, if you leave, make sure the button on the answering machine is depressed." Without missing a beat, I looked at her with a straight face and said, "Shouldn't I try to cheer it up?" Stopped both my parents in their tracks.

And THAT was the day they knew that I had a very quick wit and sense of humor.

[fireheart]

One from today: "I want to stay this big forever" from a 6-year-old

[AnaKhouri]

Dear kid at preschool, when you ask me what I think of your makeup and I say "Are you Raggedy Ann?" and you say "No, I'm Lalaloopsy." and I say "Oh, that's awesome. I like it.", that's really code for "I have no idea what that is."

Oh, I just looked it up. That's freaking creepy. Very 'Coraline'.

[mathnerd]

Two of my kids have a genetic bone condition that requires frequent surgery. The younger of the two is more severely affected, and as such uses mobility aids quite frequently. Some days he can walk on his own, but other days he uses a cane, a walker or a wheelchair, depending on pain levels.

So, one day, not to long ago, the little one was having a really bad day. He was using his chair even in the house, which is unusual for him. His oldest brother, being a typical older brother, spent most of the day harassing him. At some point, the little one had enough and decided to get his revenge. He took his cane, extended it to it's fullest length and positioned it in the arms of the chair so it was pretty stable. He then backed himself up to the end of the hallway and pushed his chair forward gaining as much speed as he possibly could and used the chair/cane set up as a joust to stab his brother in the butt.

I wasn't sure whether to fuss at the little one for the violence, laugh at the oldest one for finally getting what he deserved for being a jerk all day, or staring in awe at the ingenuity of the little one for being able to joust using a wheelchair and cane.

[AnaKhouri]

Khan: "What are you doing with our candy?"

Me: "We have two gallon bags of it in the freezer (bad weather, we had few trick-or-treaters), and I need to make room for real food. I'm taking some to my writing group. Don't worry, I won't take the kinds you like."

Khan: "But I like every actual item of candy."

[fireheart]

How my cousin's 4.5-year-old son sees his dad: as a giant Coco Pops box.

Evidently at preschool, they'd had "construction" time, where he could build whatever he wanted from recycled materials. So he found a coco pops box, glued googly eyes to it and cut part of the top flap off.

He then presented it to his mum (my cousin) with the announcement that he'd made "daddy". Cue her then posting it on facebook with the message "Look daddy [kid] made you at [preschool] today .

[AnaKhouri]

Khan: "Daddy! Daddy! I have to tell you something."

Daddy: "What is it?"

Khan: "If you're a ghost and you try to sit down in a chair, you'll fall right through it!"

[mathnerd]

I take my 11 year old sister running most mornings. This morning was no exception. I have a couple different routes depending on my training goals. One of those routes takes us past a rather large produce distribution center, with the resulting truck traffic. This morning we took that route. Now, for some additional background, I am rather well endowed in the feminine bits up top and I run in just shorts and a running bra. This does attract some attention.

This morning, as we're passing the DC, I get honked at by several trucks. I don't usually pay attention to such things, but little sister got annoyed and said to me "I think they want to haul your coconuts instead of the ones in their trailers."



Oh, dear. Little sister is growing up too fast!