whats the funniest thing youve ever heard a customer say

[Jester]

One time when I was a customer, I had a little fun with the eye doctor's nurse.

They knew me pretty well by then, and I was getting a check up. I was in one of the examination rooms, waiting for the doctor, and said nurse directed me to the eye chart and told me to read it as best I could.

I looked at it, squinted, and read "We take...these truths...to be self-evident...."

I figured someone had done something like that before, but she assured me I was the first. Well, she assured me once she was done laughing.

[B&NGoddess]

c: i'm a nursing student. i need books on...anna...tommy? annatommy?
me: you mean anatomy?
c: yeah!

c: where's the vagina mongolians?
me: the what?
c: that play by that one lady. you know, the vagina mongolians!
me: vagina monologues.
c: that's what i said. are these books, you know, to buy?

[bendertiger]

Even though this is an old thread, just reading the last post makes me want to scream!

[powerboy]

When this one customer, tried to pay for a bottle of water with a $100 bill. The water only costs about a $1.00. He then said, that since he was going to pay with $100 bill, that he should get a couple of Anime DVD's for free. My boss, told him to get out, and not to come back. The following week, he came in, demanding that we give him a DVD for free, since he got treated badly last time. So I went over and gave him a free DVD that just has trailers. Hey it was free, I was giving him, what he wanted.

[BusBus]

c: where's the vagina mongolians?
me: the what?
c: that play by that one lady. you know, the vagina mongolians!
me: vagina monologues.
c: that's what i said. are these books, you know, to buy?

Because the Great Wall of China was built to keep the Vagina Mongolians out of China.

[Caveat Emptor]

Me: Which branch did you go to?
C: <my employers name(a bank)> ...you know, it's a bank....

[B&NGoddess]

Because the Great Wall of China was built to keep the Vagina Mongolians out of China.

i thought that's what pee-nee covers were for.

[Anakah]

It wasn't really what he said more like... What he did.

I was working in a family dollar store a year or so ago and we kept getting people asking for ridiculous items that a family dollar would NEVER carry.

A man came in with his son and I asked him how he was. He started speaking in Spanish and needless to say I didn't and still don't know Spanish. So, he started to mime what he wanted. Well, he made his hand into an "O" and put it over his index finger, repeatedly.

I wasn't sure what he meant but I was embarassed for the both of us. I grabbed my manager's hubbie who spoke a bit of spanish and told him that my customer needed some assistance that I couldn't give.

Well we both returned to the guy and lets just say after the last miming he did, we both figured out what he wanted... He basically humped the air. He held out his hands and did a pelvic thrust. A few times. My face was red and I was trying so hard not to laugh.

Me: I shook my head and prayed he'd understand: "No, sir we don't carry condoms."

Other times customers asked if we sold cigarettes or beer. I guess the words: FAMILY or DOLLAR mean nothing...

[Dreamstalker]

Put your chubby in a cubby?

I've seen something for babies called "Peepee Teepee" or something like that. Weirdest thing ever.

Anakah, I was at a dollar store once and saw "individually electronically tested" condoms. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't touch a dollar-store condom with a ten-meter cattle prod.

[Ciarrai]

This came from a coworker, but it's still funny.

An old lady, Russian I believe, came up to her looking for douches. She couldn't understand the woman's thick accent, so she had to get her to repeat it a few times. Finally the older lady got frustrated, and yelled out (with hand motions)
"I want to wash my vagina!"

[AFpheonix]

Anakah, I was at a dollar store once and saw "individually electronically tested" condoms. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't touch a dollar-store condom with a ten-meter cattle prod.

Hey, then you could try out the dollar store pregnancy tests I saw there one time

So, do vagina mongolians like delicacies like bearded clams and pink tacos?

[stormtreader]

Anakah, I was at a dollar store once and saw "individually electronically tested" condoms. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't touch a dollar-store condom with a ten-meter cattle prod.

Sounds like someone beat you to it anyway

[Anakah]

I was horrified when I worked at family dollar and discovered that pregnancy tests were for sell. We had them behind the counter and sold quite a few... I don't know about you but there are just some items where being cheap is really not something you should be doing...

[MadMike]

I was horrified when I worked at family dollar and discovered that pregnancy tests were for sell. We had them behind the counter and sold quite a few... I don't know about you but there are just some items where being cheap is really not something you should be doing...

But it came with a free corncob pipe!

[SnapAddict218]

This came from a coworker, but it's still funny.

An old lady, Russian I believe, came up to her looking for douches. She couldn't understand the woman's thick accent, so she had to get her to repeat it a few times. Finally the older lady got frustrated, and yelled out (with hand motions)
"I want to wash my vagina!"

Hi I'm gwen, I'm here to wash your vagina.....

sorry, had to