Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Sharsarannon]

"Fire- It kills everything, and if it doesn't, you're just not using enough!"

[HalloranElder]

"Where's my monkey?"

[edible_hat]

"Where's my raffle tickets dagnabbit?"

"Just use those things designed for wiping babies' bums."

(edit: these lines are from two separate conversations.)

[MystyGlyttyr]

"Can I get the cages to the key?"
"...what?"

[edible_hat]

"Did you write 'J is a dork' on my drink?"
"No. I just wrote 'a dork', the other bit was already on there."

"Pee pie? Gross! Oh wait you're talking about the vegetable. Still gross though."

[crazylegs]

Well get it out then man!

[edible_hat]

"Get me my usual woman."

"I don't have to tell you how to do your job. Even though that's my job."

"Apparently I'm the toilet paper fairy."

[Spiffy McMoron]

"If you keep your expectations low, they're more likely to be met."
"That's the problem--they are low!"


"Oh fuck my...um...I'm not going to finish that sentence."

[edible_hat]

"Well I'd better get back to my game of real life Tetris AKA reorganising the store room."

"I think I'll leave at the end of my shift, thank you very much. I'm about this close to eating all that NoDoze."

"You play real life Tetris, that guy plays real life Pacman."

[Rapscallion]

"I'll only believe that horoscopes are real when a twelfth of the population die on the same day. Of course, I may be busy tomorrow making sure this happens."

Rapscallion

[cinema guy]

Chunky Monkey is monkey-flavoured ice cream.

[crazylegs]

I wont be in tomorrow, I'm going to my GFs grandmothers funeral

Oh, sorry to hear that, how is she?

Uh, she's dead.

[MMATM]

"AHA! His name is Sam!"

[edible_hat]

"So if Z's P, you're Z and M's you, who am I?"
"M! And P's you, he's gone on your holiday."

[Becks]

"So how's your fat girlfriend?"