How Not to Get Hired 101

[SuperDan]

FWIW, the really cool job I just got which I mentioned in Bragging Base, I interviewed for having not showered since the previous morning (and it was a late afternoon interview). Then again, if you want to count the pool and hot tub as taking a bath...

[draftermatt]

as actually happened some time last week, I heard about it today:

Submit a resume written on a napkin.

What it was all the paper I had in the house, it's why I need the job, lol

[edible_hat]

as actually happened some time last week, I heard about it today:

Submit a resume written on a napkin.

[Arm]

I'm impressed, I'd hire you

It's not as hard as it sounds

The 300 meter popup stays up the longest of any of them. And I can't actually guarantee that I was hitting it in the head, 'cause it's not like I can walk 300 meters down the range to check and then come back, when the range is in use.

When you're in the Army, they teach you how to aim, fire, etc. in Basic. You train on iron sights out to 300 meters (and when you qualify or train, later, it's always to 300 meters or simulated 300 meters)...
They teach you to aim for center of mass, because that's the surest way to hit the target. But what with body armor getting more and more prevalent, aiming for center of mass seemed like a losing proposition to me, so I shifted my point of aim up a few inches. When firing at a human shaped target, I aim to hit between the collarbones and the eyes. That's about a plate-sized area that I'm putting a bullet into Not really difficult. And, so long as nobody comes up with transparent rifle-proof faceplates that weigh less than 20 pounds, it'll be effective no matter what sort of armor the target wears.

But yeah, provided you can see the 300 meter target, it's easy to hit because it's up the longest of any of them.

[nomorecarts]

I can shoot someone in the head at 300 meters over iron sights, and I feel like games should be EASIER than shooting someone in real life...

I'm impressed, I'd hire you

[smileyeagle1021]

variation on a theme-
how not to get someone to take a job
when you respond to an online application with an email telling you a number to dial, give the person the number to the last place you were the manager of... double bonus points if the last place you were a manager of is in need of the same position and ends up hiring the person you were looking to recruit... that is how I got my current job.

[fireheart]

Respond to "how do you deal with difficult customers?" with "I usually fob them off to the service desk." While it may be true, you don't get the job.

Alternately, don't mistake the boss for an Indian telemarketer and hang up on them.

Oh and finally, don't hand up a resume WITHOUT a cover letter.

These cost me jobs at an arcade and a bookstore (respectively)

[Arm]

I did this one.

TOTAL and COMPLETE brain-to-mouth filter failure.

While looking to get hired as a programmer, I was talking to the potential boss and one of the art guys... He asks me what I do for fun, and I say, oh, I read books and play computer games.

Potential Boss: Oh, what kinds of games?
Me: Well, strategy games, usually. I used to play WoW, but I realized it was basically an unpaid job I didn't even like much any more.
PB: Oh, so you don't like first person shooters?
Me: Nah- I just don't like all the inaccuracy built into them, and how it's so hard to aim. I can shoot someone in the head at 300 meters over iron sights, and I feel like games should be EASIER than shooting someone in real life...
PB: ...
Me: (thinking) DID I JUST SAY THAT?!... I mean... uhh...
PB: ...
Me: ...so, changing the topic...

I R SMOOTH.

The lesson of the day! If you are ALREADY a creepy mo-fo, do NOT casually speculate during the INTERVIEW about how easy it is for you to snuff out another human bein' from just under a quarter of a mile away... Nor ought you to imply in the context of the conversation that this would be an entertainin' activity.

[PossJB]

Have your mother come in with you, staple your application to your resume (with my stapler), and hand it to me. I have nothing against you having someone with you, but if your mother does all the work, I might get the impression that you don't want the job. True, I have absolutely nothing to do with the hiring process, but I will get on the headset and mock you as a "momma's boy" to the manager. I can be a real dick sometimes, but at least hand me your own application.

[jerkface11]

Be 2 hours late for your interview (bonus points if you believe me when i say i'm going to reschedual it)

[tropicsgoddess]

Stickied - seems to be a good topic to do that to.

Rapscallion

Yaaay! I can has a sticky topic!!!

[Rapscallion]

Stickied - seems to be a good topic to do that to.

Rapscallion

[JustADude]

Or "I am available all hours but would prefer [hours that fit your lifestyle]".

I've noticed, a lot of places will break it down by daily availability with "From:" and "To:" lines. For those, I used to write in "Open" and "Close" respectively. Now, since I've figured out I respond best to a mostly-nocturnal schedule, I fill in "1pm" and "Close", since I'm applying for late-night jobs.

[edible_hat]

Next time, try "open".

Or "I am available all hours but would prefer [hours that fit your lifestyle]".

[Gurndigarn]

Slightly offtopic, but I never did understand this particular question on applications... The "What kind of job would you like?" question. Seeing as I want anything that'll pay me money, I put "anything". Then it asked me what hours I want. Seeing as I have no job or any other obligations, I put "anytime". My friend's father got extremely irritated with me.

Next time, try "open".