No you can't have my boyfriend

[iradney]

TTO is dense when it comes to girls noticing him. But it's ok, no-one's actually hit on him in front of me. I dunno what I'd do if someone did though...

[Misanthropical]

When I was 8 months pregnant with the girl, my husband, little guy (who is now the big guy) and myself went out to dinner.

I was lagging behind, because I was the size of a house (or so it felt) and I couldn't really move any faster.

The place is crowded, so my husband gets by everyone to put our names on the wait list. A woman comes up to him and starts chatting him up and talking to the little guy (now the big guy) The little guy is hanging on his father's leg trying to get away from the scary woman. My husband is looking at her like she is nuts.

I get up to them and say "excuse me" to the woman so I could get by her. She glares at me and tells me she is with them.

I told her she was most certainly not with my husband and my son and she has 5 seconds to move away from them before I get all hormonal on her.

She moves away and sits down glaring at me the whole time we were waiting.

[Primer]

Shhh... no, please not in front of Raps... unless he finds out where we are and we create a disaster.

There...fixed it for ya!

[iradney]

On the flip side tho, guys do sometimes hit on me in front of TTO (even tho I'm draped all over him like a suit). It doesn't bother him.
He has the best comeback for these situations.
I ask him "Babe, doesn't it make you jealous when guys hit on me?"
TTO just says "How can I? It just means they have good taste!"

There is NO comeback to that!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I get up to them and say "excuse me" to the woman so I could get by her. She glares at me and tells me she is with them.

I told her she was most certainly not with my husband and my son and she has 5 seconds to move away from them before I get all hormonal on her.

She moves away and sits down glaring at me the whole time we were waiting.

Oh, man, you are a far better woman than I am. She'd have been in the ER and I'd have been in the back of a police car.

[Misanthropical]

RecoveringKinkoid, I couldn't get into a fight with her and risk hurting the baby.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Ditto. I once had a girl make a move on my boyf at a party; I'd just gone to the ladies. When I got back, my boyf pointed out the girl and said, "That girl just tried to get me to go off with her and leave you here. I told her to get stuffed, but she said she'll be be back next time you go."

I saw red; I marched up to the girl and told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever hit on my boyf again, she'd be choking to death on her own teeth. She avoided both of us like the plague for the rest of the night. XD

[Gerrinson]

I had a scary encounter at a grocery store I normally don't use. I get my stuff, the cashier is scanning it, and I'm down by the bagger running my credit card through the scanner.

The bagger is a cute girl who appears to be about 16 - 17. She stops halfway through bagging my groceries and asks if I want to go out with her on Friday. I mean, out of the blue, first words she's said to me.

Me: dee duh dee!
BC: Bag chick

Me: (smiling) Thanks for asking, but I think I'm too old for you (I'm 31) and my girlfriend would not be too happy with me, either.

BC: No, really, you're not that old! Please?

Me: I'm sorry, but no. I doubt you're 18 yet, and even if I was single, I'm sure your parents would be upset about you going out with someone my age, since I'm over 30. *pointing to the silver showing up in my hair* (seriously, kid, I'm trying to let you down nicely, take the hint)

BC: You're not that old, and I'll be 18 in a few months! Besides, my last boyfriend was 42!

Me: Ummm...42? (my brain was shocked into asking this stupid question)

BC: Yeah, my mom was cool with it because he was a really nice guy. He used to her boyfriend, but I'm way hotter. But now she says I can't date anyone over 40. *insert pouty face*

Me: (still ) Sorry, NO. (And could you pass on a bitch slap to your mom for me?) *Exits with groceries. Quickly.

Still gives me shudders to think about it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

RecoveringKinkoid, I couldn't get into a fight with her and risk hurting the baby.

Ah. True. Good point.

Gerrinson: Yeah, I think I would have wanted a serious shower after that. Ew.

[Becks]

Gerrinson, that's one hell of a story.

[Daisy]

A couple of months ago, we were doing a country music show (me and the man singing country tunes for about 4 hours) at the American Legion, of all places. He's got his cowboy hat on and everything, looking adorable, and I'm about 7 months pregnant. We have played at this bar a dozen times - EVERYBODY there knows we are a couple, and even if they didn't, it's a bit obvious when we're together.

So about halfway through the night, drunk floozy walks up to the stage. I'm getting his next set ready to go, so he's standing right behind me. She walks up, points at him, and says, "I want to dance with YOU!" He tells her he doesn't dance, which is true. She stands there for his whole set like a freakin groupie. Then I get up to sing, so she goes back to the bar and sits down. He goes to get a drink, and I see her go up to him and start flirting like mad. He's 18 shades of red by now.

When he came back, I asked him what she wanted, and he said she wanted to sing a duet with him. Right. He gave me a big hug and kiss, which she saw, and we continued on with the show. She never got her duet, and I got the evil eye all night.

[ebonyknight]

On the flip side tho, guys do sometimes hit on me in front of TTO (even tho I'm draped all over him like a suit). It doesn't bother him.
He has the best comeback for these situations.
I ask him "Babe, doesn't it make you jealous when guys hit on me?"
TTO just says "How can I? It just means they have good taste!"

There is NO comeback to that!

I don't see the point either. Happens to my wife, but I KNOW that regardless, she's coming back home.

So there's no reason to get upset.

[iradney]

I don't see the point either. Happens to my wife, but I KNOW that regardless, she's coming back home.

So there's no reason to get upset.

Ayup
TTO knows that I consider him the Sexiest ManBeast on the planet. Anyone else is a severe downgrade after him

[Andara Bledin]

If anyone wants a guy who spends his time sleeping or posting on a porn message board (unless he's banned for a week), you can have mine.

Whoa. You've gotta be something to get yourself banned from a porn board.

... er.... not that I know anything about porn boards or anything....

BC: Yeah, my mom was cool with it because he was a really nice guy. He used to her boyfriend, but I'm way hotter. But now she says I can't date anyone over 40. *insert pouty face*

Whoa. That is a classic example of the apple not falling far from the tree. Yikes!

^-.-^

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Women who compete with their children for men make me kind of throw up in my mouth a bit.