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Post Hurricane Pains in the Ass (Long and Language)
So, I live in Houston, TX, and just recently returned after Hurricane Ike. I'm heading back to school, but alas! no work for me until the power comes back on! Which means no tales of dealing with SCs. Lucky for you (in a way) I have my fair share of sightings to report. And one rant to morons in management. Now, mind you, I've only been back for a little over 24 hours. Hurricanes just bring out the suck in people.
Er...no power means...
Ok, take that back about SCs at my store, but since I wasn't on the clock, this technically is a sighting.
I went to my store after failing to get through via phone and email to my bosses to see what the situation was. I get there only to see the windows still boarded up except for one door. Our store manager, whom I've labeled on this site as K, is standing out front talking to our UPS delivery guy. I go over and talk to him, and he informs me to not come in until Monday, hopefully the power will be up by then. He runs inside to get something, I forget what, leaving me and CW outside (who also showed up to find out what was going on), and as we're waiting, enter an EW.
Me: <Trying to head off EW at the pass> I'm sorry, ma'am, we're closed. We have no power.
EW: I need bluebooks! Can I just give you the change, and you can bring them to me?
CW: <Looking at me, kind of surprised> Ma'am, there's no lights on in there. We're locked out. We'd have to ask our manager.
EW: <Huffs like this is a huge burden> Fine! Then ask!
<We're all waiting outside for a few minutes because K is inside with the keys and we have no way of reaching him until he comes back outside>
EW: Well!?! Are YOU going to go in and get my blue books, or do I have to go in and get them myself??!!?!?!!!
Me: <Snaps, cuz I'm off the clock and not wearing a name tag> We are locked OUT!! The door is SHUT! There's no power! What do you want us to do!?
EW: It shouldn't be THAT hard to get me some damn blue books! What are you standing around here for! I want blue books!
CW: And I want electricity in my apartment so I can take a hot shower and stop eating peanut butter sandwiches for dinner. What's your point?
EW: <Splutters and storms off muttering>
CW: Wow. That felt GOOD. Too bad we can't do that on the clock...
Me: I know...savor the moment...it may never happen again...
To the asshats who don't grasp simple driving rules and etiquette
Quick lesson for the lady in the ugly ass big Lincoln SUV thing. Ok, when there are no traffic lights working, an intersection is treated like a four way stop. General rule of the road, yes? Even I, a lifelong pedestrian, know this. So, when the traffic parallel to me takes its turn, I'm going to cross the street in the crosswalk. It's not my fault you're going to attempt to go because you see an opening you can zoom through even though it isn't your turn.
SO sorry I happened to be in front of your vehicle. So sorry that you came SIX INCHES AWAY FROM HITTING ME. And I sincerely apologize that I had to punch the hood of your car to get your attention away from the oh so important person you were nattering to on your cell phone. Throw all the dirty looks at me you wand and cuss at me through the glass all you want. I shall let my fingers do the talking for me.
,,|,,
Bitch...
Beware of peeved of sushi chefs...
This was told to me by a friend about a mutual friend, who is Asian and a sushi chef. I'd like to say first off that while I don't condone retaliatory action, I am still amused by the tale because the douchebag in question did deserve it.
Gas supplies here are a little crazy and erratic. Cars are literally lining up down the roads to get into gas stations for a few gallons, just to be able to keep moving for a bit. Now, mutual friend is in line for at least 30 minutes, waiting to get to the pump. From what I understand, he was next in line at the pump when some moron comes zooming in, cuts him off, nearly crashes into the pump and proceeds to take the next free spot.
Mutual friend gets out of his car and taps on the window, reasonably requesting said moron move, since there was a LINE. Moron responds by rolling up his windows and blasting music loud enough to be heard for miles, then exits on the passenger side and pumps gas, all while dancing back and forth as though in some grand hurry. Mutual friend (the sushi chef!) is very irritated by this, especially since there is a police officer who watched the whole thing, but sat in his car, shaking his head. Cop was there to prevent things like this, keeping order, etc. So, mutual friend proceeds to go to his car and take out one of his many sharp sushi knives. He then stabs moron's tires.
Moron needed a tow truck, and he demanded the officer arrest mutual friend. It's a sign of just how stupid and crazy people have gotten that the officer snaps he's lucky it wasn't his throat since he was the one being an asshole. Mutual friend received a written warning and went on his way.
Seriously, so many levels of wrongness then, but the deep evil part of me dances in glee that an EW/SC got pwned just a little bit. I'm going to hell for it, but I don't care.
Stupid EW neighbors
I came back late yesterday afternoon to assess the damage to my apartment. I managed to get off relatively lightly. Dropped off my bag and rolled up my sleeves to get to work clearing the debris of tree branches, torn bushes and dead squirrels away from my door so I can have a path. As I'm doing so, I hear an earth shattering scream and some woman comes tearing over to me and yelling at me that I have to leave stuff as it is, at least until she can get pictures!!!!!!!eleventy!!!
Me: Er...why are you getting pictures of MY apartment?
EW: I want photos of all this damage!
Me: But...it's my apartment...
EW: I'm taking pictures of ALL the damage. SOMEONE is going to compensate me for this mess. I am inconvenienced! I need to sue!
Me:
Let me get this straight. You're taking photos of all the damage done, even if it isn't to YOUR apartment (from what I could see, there wasn't really anything wrong with her place, it was a building across and few doors down), so you can get compensation from someone because of a force of nature.
Are you suing Mother Nature!?!
I didn't even try to argue with her. She had that typical EW air of, 'the world is not revolving around me. Thus, someone must pay!!
I'm disgusted by this, actually. I KNOW I got off lightly. lost a few hundred bucks worth of groceries that are going to be a bitch to replace, and there's still some clean up to be done, but that's IT. There are parts of Houston that still have no power, no safe water, no ice, and parts of Texas that have literally been wiped off the map. And this EW bitch wants compensation for damage that isn't even done to HER apartment because SHE'S incovenienced!? I decided it was best I go inside and clean, else I may have violated rule #1...
Leasing office sighting
I went into my leasing office a little while ago to hand over some money orders for rent for the next 3 months. I always pay in advance when I can so I don't have to worry about it. Well, there was a family there who were apparently displaced by the hurricane, and needed a new apartment because the old one was demolished, or something like that. I never got the full story. Now, it's a bit busy, so I'm off to the side, waiting for one of the ladies in the office to finish up and sign my receipts saying they received the money orders. One finally does, and as she's signing, she's talking out loud and cued massive amounts of suck.
OW: Office worker
DW: Displaced woman
OM: Office manager
Me:
OW: Well, god smiled on you, being able to turn in 3 months of rent and utilities at a time. $XXXX is a lot of money.
Me: (
because she's announcing this out LOUD for everyone to hear)
DW: (In a very pointed voice) SOME people could stand to give a little Christian charity, to help those in need, instead of hoarding what they have.
Me: (blurts before I can think) ExCUSE me? Did I hear you right. Did you just imply that I should forgo paying my rent so I can donate money to someone else?
DW: It would be the CHRISTIAN thing to do.
Me: Guess it's a good thing I'm not CHRISTIAN, isn't it?
DW:
OW: (hands me my receipts> Er, thank you Ms. Pazzesco, have a nice day.
Me: Thanks, you, too. Oh, and thank you SO much for announcing my private financial transactions to everyone here. I'll be sure to tell the customer satisfaction line how much I appreciate it.
DW: (huffs) Some people just love to complain complain complain!!
OW: (I guess is stunned speechless, she's not saying anything.
OM: (Comes out of her office after dealing with another resident) What's going on?
Me: (And yet another brain to mouth filter failure) You'll get the formal complaint notice from your head office. I'm too tired to deal with anymore shit today.
DW: (As I'm leaving) On second thought maybe I don't want to live in a non-Christian place!
OM catches up with me as I'm walking through the parking lot, I apologized for snapping at her and explained, and she apologized for the n00b office worker, and asked me to re-consider calling in the complaint. I told her I'd sleep on it, but the woman HAD to be trained, because who knows what she'd announce next? Phone number? Social security #? That's common fucking sense she's lacking!!
I admit there was some self-suck in there, but damn, I'm tired of dealing with the stupids when I'm not even at work...
You think Walmart is bad on a normal day...
Try shopping there after a natural disaster! Oh, please gods, NEVER AGAIN!!! But, it was the only grocery store I called within the 10 mile radius that had perishable foodstuffs and power, and that were open before curfew hit. I'm zooming through the store as best I can, grabbing meat, cheese, dairy, frozen stuff, etc. Then I'm at the milk section. I open one of the doors to the refrigerated area to pull out two gallons of milk, looking for the ones with the farthest expiration date. I don't see this woman come up beside me, yank open the door next to me and fling it wide. It hit me in the head, and that HURT. Naturally I stand up quickly after yelping in pain. Does the woman apologize? No. Instead I get the following exchange.
SW: (Stupid Whore!) Move your fat ass faster, bitch, and it wouldn't be a problem.
Me: ExCUSE me? I was just leaning in to get milk. You didn't have to open the door so forcefully.
SW: Get out of my way. I have shopping to do! <tosses her milk in her cart and proceeds to ram it into MY cart, shoving it out of the way>
Now, mind you, despite the fact that the side of my head is throbbing, I've been dealing with little stupidities all day, and I'm generally trying to stock up as fast as I can since the store closes in half an hour, I bite my tongue and don't say a THING. I simply move my cart, and go over to the next aisle to get some eggs. And wouldn't you know it, SW apparently needs eggs, too because again, her cart slams into mine, and this time, she has her boyfriend/hubby/babydaddy (BHBD) with her, and when again she tells me to move my fat ass, I mutter under my breath that it takes one to know one. (Seriously, she was bigger around than me, and I'm taller than her by about half a foot.)
BHBD: You got something to say to her, you say it to me, bitch!
Me: I have nothing to say. I was talking to myself. (I'm going through the eggs the entire time, still shopping, and scootch on down to the butter, hoping this is the end of it, but of course it's not...)
BHBD: <Follows me> I heard you talking shit!
Me: No, I wasn't.
SW: <Comes up behind BHBD> Leave her alone, boo, she's too fat and stupid to understand anything, she can't even move when she's told to.
Me: <Urge to kill rising...but I'm quelling...quelling!!>
BHBD: No shit. She don't understand SOME of us are trying to buy food cuz we have nothing after the hurricane.
Me: <And we hear the snappy noise now> EVERYONE here is in the same boat, sir, and a little politeness wouldn't hurt!
BHBD: Who asked you!? You can't tell me nothing, I got free speech!
Me: Free speech is one thing, but this is the third time in a row I've been rammed into by your bovine bucket of lard over there and now you're spewing noxious miasma on me and I don't appreciate it!
BHBD: Ooh, lookit the smart white bitch, using big words. Stop insulting my girl or I'll have to get you.
SW: (At this point, she's watching the whole thing smugly, like she's GLAD she's got BHBD defending her supposed honor)
BHBD: Apologize, bitch, and maybe we'll let this go.
Me: I'm not the one who needs to apologize.
BHBD: You called my girl a name. Apologize!!!
Me: Fine, I'm sorry I've seemed to insult your gutterwench. I'm sorry you're an ass raping son of a syphilitic whore, I'm sorry that you both have a case of terminal entitlement whoreism, and I'm sorry that I'm stuck witnessing another botched attempt at natural selection at work. There, I apologized. now get out of my way!
Luckily by this time, apparently another customer had called for help because a security guard and some employees had come over. I didn't have to say anything because someone had told them what happened to begin with. BHBD and his SW were escorted out, still cussing at me. I managed to finish my shopping, and head home, but man, I was PISSED for most of the night.
I realize we just came through a hurricane. But do people HAVE to be batshit fucking crazy assholes? What good are they doing by exacerbating the situation? It doesn't help. It only serves to make things worse while the city limps to put itself back together.
Ok, purge done. Those were some of the big sightings in the last 24 hours. I'm sure I'll have more to add in the coming days. Gaaaaah...
And now, back to cleaning debris.
Er...no power means...
Ok, take that back about SCs at my store, but since I wasn't on the clock, this technically is a sighting.
I went to my store after failing to get through via phone and email to my bosses to see what the situation was. I get there only to see the windows still boarded up except for one door. Our store manager, whom I've labeled on this site as K, is standing out front talking to our UPS delivery guy. I go over and talk to him, and he informs me to not come in until Monday, hopefully the power will be up by then. He runs inside to get something, I forget what, leaving me and CW outside (who also showed up to find out what was going on), and as we're waiting, enter an EW.
Me: <Trying to head off EW at the pass> I'm sorry, ma'am, we're closed. We have no power.
EW: I need bluebooks! Can I just give you the change, and you can bring them to me?
CW: <Looking at me, kind of surprised> Ma'am, there's no lights on in there. We're locked out. We'd have to ask our manager.
EW: <Huffs like this is a huge burden> Fine! Then ask!
<We're all waiting outside for a few minutes because K is inside with the keys and we have no way of reaching him until he comes back outside>
EW: Well!?! Are YOU going to go in and get my blue books, or do I have to go in and get them myself??!!?!?!!!
Me: <Snaps, cuz I'm off the clock and not wearing a name tag> We are locked OUT!! The door is SHUT! There's no power! What do you want us to do!?
EW: It shouldn't be THAT hard to get me some damn blue books! What are you standing around here for! I want blue books!
CW: And I want electricity in my apartment so I can take a hot shower and stop eating peanut butter sandwiches for dinner. What's your point?
EW: <Splutters and storms off muttering>
CW: Wow. That felt GOOD. Too bad we can't do that on the clock...
Me: I know...savor the moment...it may never happen again...
To the asshats who don't grasp simple driving rules and etiquette
Quick lesson for the lady in the ugly ass big Lincoln SUV thing. Ok, when there are no traffic lights working, an intersection is treated like a four way stop. General rule of the road, yes? Even I, a lifelong pedestrian, know this. So, when the traffic parallel to me takes its turn, I'm going to cross the street in the crosswalk. It's not my fault you're going to attempt to go because you see an opening you can zoom through even though it isn't your turn.
SO sorry I happened to be in front of your vehicle. So sorry that you came SIX INCHES AWAY FROM HITTING ME. And I sincerely apologize that I had to punch the hood of your car to get your attention away from the oh so important person you were nattering to on your cell phone. Throw all the dirty looks at me you wand and cuss at me through the glass all you want. I shall let my fingers do the talking for me.
,,|,,
Bitch...
Beware of peeved of sushi chefs...
This was told to me by a friend about a mutual friend, who is Asian and a sushi chef. I'd like to say first off that while I don't condone retaliatory action, I am still amused by the tale because the douchebag in question did deserve it.
Gas supplies here are a little crazy and erratic. Cars are literally lining up down the roads to get into gas stations for a few gallons, just to be able to keep moving for a bit. Now, mutual friend is in line for at least 30 minutes, waiting to get to the pump. From what I understand, he was next in line at the pump when some moron comes zooming in, cuts him off, nearly crashes into the pump and proceeds to take the next free spot.
Mutual friend gets out of his car and taps on the window, reasonably requesting said moron move, since there was a LINE. Moron responds by rolling up his windows and blasting music loud enough to be heard for miles, then exits on the passenger side and pumps gas, all while dancing back and forth as though in some grand hurry. Mutual friend (the sushi chef!) is very irritated by this, especially since there is a police officer who watched the whole thing, but sat in his car, shaking his head. Cop was there to prevent things like this, keeping order, etc. So, mutual friend proceeds to go to his car and take out one of his many sharp sushi knives. He then stabs moron's tires.
Moron needed a tow truck, and he demanded the officer arrest mutual friend. It's a sign of just how stupid and crazy people have gotten that the officer snaps he's lucky it wasn't his throat since he was the one being an asshole. Mutual friend received a written warning and went on his way.
Seriously, so many levels of wrongness then, but the deep evil part of me dances in glee that an EW/SC got pwned just a little bit. I'm going to hell for it, but I don't care.
Stupid EW neighbors
I came back late yesterday afternoon to assess the damage to my apartment. I managed to get off relatively lightly. Dropped off my bag and rolled up my sleeves to get to work clearing the debris of tree branches, torn bushes and dead squirrels away from my door so I can have a path. As I'm doing so, I hear an earth shattering scream and some woman comes tearing over to me and yelling at me that I have to leave stuff as it is, at least until she can get pictures!!!!!!!eleventy!!!
Me: Er...why are you getting pictures of MY apartment?
EW: I want photos of all this damage!
Me: But...it's my apartment...
EW: I'm taking pictures of ALL the damage. SOMEONE is going to compensate me for this mess. I am inconvenienced! I need to sue!
Me:
Let me get this straight. You're taking photos of all the damage done, even if it isn't to YOUR apartment (from what I could see, there wasn't really anything wrong with her place, it was a building across and few doors down), so you can get compensation from someone because of a force of nature.
Are you suing Mother Nature!?!
I didn't even try to argue with her. She had that typical EW air of, 'the world is not revolving around me. Thus, someone must pay!!
I'm disgusted by this, actually. I KNOW I got off lightly. lost a few hundred bucks worth of groceries that are going to be a bitch to replace, and there's still some clean up to be done, but that's IT. There are parts of Houston that still have no power, no safe water, no ice, and parts of Texas that have literally been wiped off the map. And this EW bitch wants compensation for damage that isn't even done to HER apartment because SHE'S incovenienced!? I decided it was best I go inside and clean, else I may have violated rule #1...
Leasing office sighting
I went into my leasing office a little while ago to hand over some money orders for rent for the next 3 months. I always pay in advance when I can so I don't have to worry about it. Well, there was a family there who were apparently displaced by the hurricane, and needed a new apartment because the old one was demolished, or something like that. I never got the full story. Now, it's a bit busy, so I'm off to the side, waiting for one of the ladies in the office to finish up and sign my receipts saying they received the money orders. One finally does, and as she's signing, she's talking out loud and cued massive amounts of suck.
OW: Office worker
DW: Displaced woman
OM: Office manager
Me:
OW: Well, god smiled on you, being able to turn in 3 months of rent and utilities at a time. $XXXX is a lot of money.
Me: (
because she's announcing this out LOUD for everyone to hear)DW: (In a very pointed voice) SOME people could stand to give a little Christian charity, to help those in need, instead of hoarding what they have.
Me: (blurts before I can think) ExCUSE me? Did I hear you right. Did you just imply that I should forgo paying my rent so I can donate money to someone else?
DW: It would be the CHRISTIAN thing to do.
Me: Guess it's a good thing I'm not CHRISTIAN, isn't it?
DW:
OW: (hands me my receipts> Er, thank you Ms. Pazzesco, have a nice day.
Me: Thanks, you, too. Oh, and thank you SO much for announcing my private financial transactions to everyone here. I'll be sure to tell the customer satisfaction line how much I appreciate it.
DW: (huffs) Some people just love to complain complain complain!!
OW: (I guess is stunned speechless, she's not saying anything.
OM: (Comes out of her office after dealing with another resident) What's going on?
Me: (And yet another brain to mouth filter failure) You'll get the formal complaint notice from your head office. I'm too tired to deal with anymore shit today.
DW: (As I'm leaving) On second thought maybe I don't want to live in a non-Christian place!
OM catches up with me as I'm walking through the parking lot, I apologized for snapping at her and explained, and she apologized for the n00b office worker, and asked me to re-consider calling in the complaint. I told her I'd sleep on it, but the woman HAD to be trained, because who knows what she'd announce next? Phone number? Social security #? That's common fucking sense she's lacking!!
I admit there was some self-suck in there, but damn, I'm tired of dealing with the stupids when I'm not even at work...
You think Walmart is bad on a normal day...
Try shopping there after a natural disaster! Oh, please gods, NEVER AGAIN!!! But, it was the only grocery store I called within the 10 mile radius that had perishable foodstuffs and power, and that were open before curfew hit. I'm zooming through the store as best I can, grabbing meat, cheese, dairy, frozen stuff, etc. Then I'm at the milk section. I open one of the doors to the refrigerated area to pull out two gallons of milk, looking for the ones with the farthest expiration date. I don't see this woman come up beside me, yank open the door next to me and fling it wide. It hit me in the head, and that HURT. Naturally I stand up quickly after yelping in pain. Does the woman apologize? No. Instead I get the following exchange.
SW: (Stupid Whore!) Move your fat ass faster, bitch, and it wouldn't be a problem.
Me: ExCUSE me? I was just leaning in to get milk. You didn't have to open the door so forcefully.
SW: Get out of my way. I have shopping to do! <tosses her milk in her cart and proceeds to ram it into MY cart, shoving it out of the way>
Now, mind you, despite the fact that the side of my head is throbbing, I've been dealing with little stupidities all day, and I'm generally trying to stock up as fast as I can since the store closes in half an hour, I bite my tongue and don't say a THING. I simply move my cart, and go over to the next aisle to get some eggs. And wouldn't you know it, SW apparently needs eggs, too because again, her cart slams into mine, and this time, she has her boyfriend/hubby/babydaddy (BHBD) with her, and when again she tells me to move my fat ass, I mutter under my breath that it takes one to know one. (Seriously, she was bigger around than me, and I'm taller than her by about half a foot.)
BHBD: You got something to say to her, you say it to me, bitch!
Me: I have nothing to say. I was talking to myself. (I'm going through the eggs the entire time, still shopping, and scootch on down to the butter, hoping this is the end of it, but of course it's not...)
BHBD: <Follows me> I heard you talking shit!
Me: No, I wasn't.
SW: <Comes up behind BHBD> Leave her alone, boo, she's too fat and stupid to understand anything, she can't even move when she's told to.
Me: <Urge to kill rising...but I'm quelling...quelling!!>
BHBD: No shit. She don't understand SOME of us are trying to buy food cuz we have nothing after the hurricane.
Me: <And we hear the snappy noise now> EVERYONE here is in the same boat, sir, and a little politeness wouldn't hurt!
BHBD: Who asked you!? You can't tell me nothing, I got free speech!
Me: Free speech is one thing, but this is the third time in a row I've been rammed into by your bovine bucket of lard over there and now you're spewing noxious miasma on me and I don't appreciate it!
BHBD: Ooh, lookit the smart white bitch, using big words. Stop insulting my girl or I'll have to get you.
SW: (At this point, she's watching the whole thing smugly, like she's GLAD she's got BHBD defending her supposed honor)
BHBD: Apologize, bitch, and maybe we'll let this go.
Me: I'm not the one who needs to apologize.
BHBD: You called my girl a name. Apologize!!!
Me: Fine, I'm sorry I've seemed to insult your gutterwench. I'm sorry you're an ass raping son of a syphilitic whore, I'm sorry that you both have a case of terminal entitlement whoreism, and I'm sorry that I'm stuck witnessing another botched attempt at natural selection at work. There, I apologized. now get out of my way!
Luckily by this time, apparently another customer had called for help because a security guard and some employees had come over. I didn't have to say anything because someone had told them what happened to begin with. BHBD and his SW were escorted out, still cussing at me. I managed to finish my shopping, and head home, but man, I was PISSED for most of the night.
I realize we just came through a hurricane. But do people HAVE to be batshit fucking crazy assholes? What good are they doing by exacerbating the situation? It doesn't help. It only serves to make things worse while the city limps to put itself back together.
Ok, purge done. Those were some of the big sightings in the last 24 hours. I'm sure I'll have more to add in the coming days. Gaaaaah...
And now, back to cleaning debris.
Lupo, you and all the Texas CSers have my sympathies...
And sorry you have to deal with those....... well, they're not fit to be called people are they? 
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