The Domicile of Despair (long, epic, get your popcorn)

[Seshat]

yeah sorry guys. know you're gonna be mad, but its just been a very...stressful day so I didnt have time to type up the next part. The pirate issue did not go so well. In fact, its 2:30 am here while I'm posting this, so finally collapsing into bed now.

<wraps Seraph in a loveblanket from Kanalah and gives her one of Spark's loonakits>

The fun kind of pirates, that is, not the jerks who messed with Seraph. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their nether regions and may their rum always be gone!!!

Totally agreed, XCashier.

And may emus get into their backyards and kick their dunny doors down.

[Zaiida]

YES!! More stories.

Although in my current state all that's sticking with me is animae tits.

Cannot wait until the final showdown.

[Lurking Sockpuppet]

Yawn! Good morning star shine!

Wonders into thread... drat no new update.

Sigh, ok. I made a large pot of coffee and have some nice anise/almond biscotti. Oh, and for those who are carnivores I cooked a couple pounds of nice thick bacon.

[lupo pazzesco]

LMAO I'll post the next part tomorrow, never fear.

And yes, leaving it on cliff hangers because YOU GUYS DESERVE IT.

Especially Lupo. <3

*snifflesniffle*

Just acuz I begged and threatened violence to my boyfriend and withheld cooked/baked goods, you think I deserve the torture?? That's really just a COMPLIMENT to your storytelling skills, and the story itself.

Man, I'm so misunderstood.

Even me? *sad puppy eyes?* But..I liked your kitty. *sniffles*

So that's the way we gonna roll, yo? Dissassociate yourself from me? I'd curse you with forthcoming crazy shopping trips, but i'm not that mean.



*passes out chai tea to everyone* Happy Monday, I guess.

[cashierbex]

I hope I get to read it before work. Otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to have to go through another 5 pages just to find the story. BAH

[RealUnimportant]

I'm going to have to go through another 5 pages just to find the story. BAH

It's not so bad; the emploring posts are almost as much fun to read as the main story.

[CallCenterGirl]

New here and am totally into your story. I haven't had my morning coffee or breakfast. I saw how many pages there were and thought I would get all of the story. So now I'll have to keep checking for an update. Felt so bad for dog Rex. I'm a big dog lover. And your cat is so cute. Guess I'll go have my coffee now

[Crossbow]

It's not so bad; the emploring posts are almost as much fun to read as the main story.

Agreed. And in this case, the break is appreciated. I ran out of popcorn.

Ok, all set.

[Jay 2K Winger]

this whole thread gets more epic with every cliffhanger

even though my caps lock and shift keys are still on strike and have convinced the punctuation keys to join their campaign

not to worry though im planning to suppress their rebellion with great violence

read the next line in all caps

this is all your fault wumman for the cliffhangers exclamation point exclamation point bang bang eleventy one bang

[eltf177]

this whole thread gets more epic with every cliffhanger

The understatement of the decade. My jaw is _still_ on the floor and we're not even done yet!

Anxiously awaiting further updates...

[Canarr]

Just read it all through in one go... and now I'm stuck on that cliffhanger, dammit!

Anxiously awaiting the next installment...

[dalesys]

'S OK. The final episode will be PPV, just so you know.

[Ironclad Alibi]

even though my caps lock and shift keys are still on strike and have convinced the punctuation keys to join their campaign

In sympathy with your keyboard problems, and for amusement while awaiting the next installment of Seraph's tale, I present the following exchange which happen on a Prodigy forum many years ago.

TO: ALL
FROM: BEN
SUBJECT: STOP!CH-CH-CHANGES!

bght prfctl gd lphbt tht wrkd fn fr yrs. thn th cm t wth n tht hd vwls. bt sw n nd fr thm nd ddn't pgrd. ddn't b cptls thr, bt dd gt pncttn pgrd.

TO: BEN
FROM: FRED
SUBJECT: STOP!CH-CH-CHANGES!

Try adjusting the waveform stabilizing occilator by superimposing negative sine waves!

TO: BEN
FROM: HAL
SUBJECT: STOP!CH-CH-CHANGES!

thts wht hppns whn y by chp sft fnt pckgs !

TO: BEN
FROM: MARY
SUBJECT: STOP!CH-CH-CHANGES!

Qt t, y gys! M hsbnd thnks 'm nts sttng hr lghng!

[Seraph]

Part NineGag

Slumlord immediately got right up into my face, and was hollering.

Yep, the police showed up, busted them all, hauled off quite a few for underage drinking, drugs, etc etc. And Slumlord knew it was me because not only did an officer confront him about letting the party get to that point, but that “a resident here was terrified for herself”, didn't he feel terrible about it?

And of course, considering who didn't show up for the party (me), who he knew “was out to cause trouble for him” (me, apparently again), and guess what he checked the outgoing phone records, so he knew it was me.

Uh oh.

Slumlord is practically frothing at this point, yammering at how fast he had to work to keep the college from hearing, the scandal he narrowly avoided, and how I've possibly ruined his career. Ohhh, I was going to pay for this.

He stormed off, and the receptionist just stood there with her mouth open, then looked at me and said “Well, you poke the hornet’s nest enough yet?” I just shrugged, got my mail, and went on back to my place.

CG was there when I finally reached my door, he just stared around in shock at all the glass on the ground, and asked what happened. I told him a quick run through, and he shook his head and got me inside.


The next couple of months were horrific.

The internet to our room, and our room alone, was cut off randomly, mostly during the times when he knew we were on it. He'd monitor our network usage, and when noticed we logged into a game or something, boom. Off.

Then, he started having random room checks, to “find pets and contract violations”. The receptionist, having a bit of sympathy for me, would quietly notify me a bit before, giving us enough time to pack Kyo up in a carrier and have CG drive around with him for a little while until the check was over.

Slumlord even tried to take my fridge at one point. He showed up, claiming that they were taking out fridges from some of the rooms for “potential maintenance problems”, and was angry when I pointed out that it was my own personal fridge. He demanded to see proof of this, and I simply explained that it was obviously not theirs. It was a different color, a bigger model, and even had a miniature freezer, where theirs had none. He left, muttering about it possibly being a contract violation to bring in a “non conforming fridge”.

He also informed me that my lease was up, on the week after the baby was due, and that he'd be glad to be rid of me.

Well, CG's lease still had three months to go on it after that, and they STILL wouldn't let him out of it. So I decided to write a letter to the CEO of the company who had the complex built, basically, Slumlord's boss. I pleaded as best as I could in the letter, explaining we would be more than willing to pay the roommate rate for the last three months, and how we would be brand new parents, how much it would mean to us if they'd allow us to do that for the last three months. Alternatively, we'd be more than happy to look for a new place if they wanted to let CG out of his contract. I finished up with, please, you don't understand how tough it is for us right now. Please help us out, and give us the little boost we'd need, by working with us on this. We couldn't afford to hold two places at once again, especially with a new baby just arriving.

A week later Slumlord showed up at my door, holding up a copy of the letter. CEO had contacted Slumlord about it, asking his opinion.

Slumlord basically shut us down, and told him that there was no way he should allow it, we'd been troubling tenants “from the get go”. He sneered and told me that was that, and that too bad, I should probably look into getting my own place, because I wasn't going to be allowed around there anymore once my lease was up.

I. Was. Livid.

Really? A nine months pregnant woman, and you're pretty much throwing her out on the street, just because you're ticked off that I ruined your big party that one night?

In retaliation, I started documenting, and sniffing around for things.

I took photos of the pool, documented how the office was made aware of the nights that a couple had...erm...had a little too much fun in a pool, and how they didn't clean it out.

I took photos of the courtyard after the parties, and noted how Slumlord was usually involved, if not hosting some of the parties himself.

I documented the myriad things that the complex boasted, but didn't actually have, such as the hair salon, the supposed chef to cook your meals, a tanning bed, a gaming theater room, and “personal spa rooms”. (aka steam rooms. They actually had those, but Slumlord declared them “too expensive to run”, and had them locked up)

Then one day, I got curious, and hit the mother lode.

While checking out my network settings, I realized hey, its publicly accessible, and not protected by passwords at all. Heck, one of my friends used to pull into the parking lot if he needed a wifi signal, and would surf and then leave when he was done.

I then also realized that Slumlord had shared a few folders on his computer with the network. I don't know if he did this on purpose, or if he was just incredibly stupid at protecting his data on a shared, public network.

Either way, I quickly found out, and took screenshots of, the fact that he was sharing illegal porn.

Now, I mean ILLEGAL. He had an entire folder for teenage girls, and another one featuring bestiality.

Did I mention that he's sharing this all publically?

</gleeful cackling and rubbing of hands commence>

End of Part Nine

[lupo pazzesco]

...

I didn't know it was possible to both love and hate someone quite so much.

Soooo...how many parts ARE THERE?!?!?

WHEN can we expect part 10!?!?!


Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnttt!!! T_T