The power of Harry Potter compels you!

[Soulstealer]

Help me out here, what would be a completely over the top chapter-that- never-was to explain my descent into hell?

The part where [Insert favourite charachter] died and that led you to sell your soul to satan so you could seek revenge?

[JustADude]

After that was over, I took a stick, drew a circle around me, and drew in the symbol for Capricorn. ... I then sit in the circle, closed my eyes, and started to "chant."

Heh, oh the advantages of having worked out your own personal glyph (also known as a trade-mark back in the old days when people stamped their goods to tell who made what). I'd just draw that in the circle and start chanting "Yue Go Guay way fi de sau" ... at least I THINK that's what Uncle chants. ... in my deepest, most evil voice (and that's pretty damn evil).

[Kusanagi]

If you're letting your child read Harry Potter and haven't taught them the difference between fiction and reality, then that's a parenting problem, not a religious one.

[Gravekeeper]

If you're letting your child read Harry Potter and haven't taught them the difference between fiction and reality, then that's a parenting problem, not a religious one.

Most things on this board can be traced far enough back to a parenting problem.

Refresh my memory, was Pokemon ever Satan's plaything? I *know* Pokemon is truly evil. I'm wondering if they actually caught on to the scent of real evil or not.

If you really want to drive them nuts tell them you DID try to read the Bible but you felt it jumped the shark when they brought Jesus back to life.

[Soulstealer]

I'd just draw that in the circle and start chanting "Yue Go Guay way fi de sau" ... at least I THINK that's what Uncle chants. ... in my deepest, most evil voice (and that's pretty damn evil).

I think I watched Jackie Chan Adventures too much, I automatically recognized who that was supposed to be.

And Gravekeeper? The bible jumped the shark before Jonah got eaten by the whale and spit out three days later.

[Broomjockey]

Refresh my memory, was Pokemon ever Satan's plaything? I *know* Pokemon is truly evil.

Yep, because it taught evolution to kids. Which is against God.

[Rappunzill]

Refresh my memory, was Pokemon ever Satan's plaything? I *know* Pokemon is truly evil. I'm wondering if they actually caught on to the scent of real evil or not.

Indeed, they have. My husband worked at the central offices of a large church which shall remain nameless, and he had to go to their services once a week instead of doing data entry. During one of these services, he learned about the evil that is "Charmed" and "Pokemon- Pocket Demon."

[ken]

How bad is your argument when your 'source' is the Onion? I do love their horoscopes

My favourite is the American Voices section. Always the same faces with
new names and more or less strange occupations. And then their
honest opinions on hot issues :-)

[ForestDragon]

If you need a chant, you could always use one that was used on Doctor Who many years ago - and hope said fundamentalcase isn't a Who fan (unlikely, since they usually don't like SF either).

Ahem...

"Kokleda partha mennin klatch, aroon aroon aroon
Ablarka sheena teerinatch, aroon araan aroon."

Which, according to the Doctor, was a Venusian lullaby; translated, that meant "Close your pretty eyes, my darling - well, three of them at least."

[OfficeSlug]

In my youth I had two friends I played AD&D (Accidental Death & Dismemberment, as we called it) with whose mom was a fanatical Evengelical. THe only way her sons could play is as Clerics of the Christian God.
WTF?

About 2 years ago, I worked with, and played D&D with, a 19 year-old kid who would only play a "Cleric of Jehovah" (yeah, try finding THAT shit in the core PHB, right??)... ironically, or not, he also got his 18 year-old girlfriend pregnant, made her quit her schooling to be a nurse, he's a carpenter's apprentice (he wants to be like Jesus) making $7/hr, and they currently live off food stamps.

Ya gotta love the Loonies...

[Buglady]

suggested I go as Nymphadora Tonks.

Wish I still had my spiky pink hair... LOL.

[Lyrax]

Yet 1st edition Clerics were clearly supposed to be Christian... it wasn't until 2nd edition that D&D got a mythos that was clearly not a fantasy version of earth's people, and even then, there were lots of holdovers.

Shall I cite evidence? The weapon restrictions were the same (from 1st ed. D&D clerics to medieval/renaissance Christian Priests... no edged or pointy weapons, but clubs, staves, maces, and hammers were all allowed by the church), a lot of the 'spells' are merely taken from the Bible (Sticks to Snakes/Moses, Flame strike/Elijah, etc.) Then, in AD&D, they got all polytheistic.

Ah, Christianity. It's a possible cause of so much good in the world, and at the same time, it's an excuse for so much evil. Makes you wonder whether it's the religion being warped to satisfy their demands, or it they are warping themselves to fit what others taught them? Either way, I think 'warped' definitely applies well, here.

Oh, and, ummm... customers suck and Harry Potter is awesome?

[ken]

Frank, expecting to just be a smartass in return, stood up, stretched, closed his eyes, waved his hands, said a magic word....and at that very moment, the power came back on.

Those of you who have been computer nerds for a while might remember
the PING OF DEATH a lot of years ago? Microsoft Windows was vulnerable
and would crash with the infamous blue screen upon receiving a single
evil packet which you could send using a simple program downloaded from the
Internet.

Well... you could sit at your computer, ask it to sleep for thirty seconds and then
send the ping of death to a colleague's computer. Then you could walk to your
colleague's desk, point in his direction, utter "I curse your computer!" and hope you got the timing exactly right.

Not than anyone here would have done such a thing.

[Shengirl]

About 2 years ago, I worked with, and played D&D with, a 19 year-old kid who would only play a "Cleric of Jehovah" (yeah, try finding THAT shit in the core PHB, right??)... ironically, or not, he also got his 18 year-old girlfriend pregnant, made her quit her schooling to be a nurse, he's a carpenter's apprentice (he wants to be like Jesus) making $7/hr, and they currently live off food stamps.

Most of that made me think, "Each to his own!" but that part where he made her quit school AND lives on food stamps hits like every social pet peeve I have. Grr, be as religious as you want, but God supposed to help those who help themselves! Your wife COULD work and keep you from leaning on other taxpayers - at least somewhat - but that's just unacceptable for some reason.

[Strange Magic]

Yet 1st edition Clerics were clearly supposed to be Christian... it wasn't until 2nd edition that D&D got a mythos that was clearly not a fantasy version of earth's people, and even then, there were lots of holdovers.

The 1st edition of AD&D was polytrheistic to begin with. The Dietys and Demigods book came out in 1979 and the 2nd edition stuff didn't start until the late 80's.
My folks bought me the Dietys and Demigods book for my 12th b-day in 79.