Dear Abby??

[mattm04]

Sent a letter; didn't put my real address or number, so no idea if it will be posted. XD

Advantage of begin a college student, I can just use my school phone and address.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sent a letter; didn't put my real address or number, so no idea if it will be posted. XD


Dear Abby,

I don't normally send in letters to this kind of page, but a recent reply of yours made my blood boil. You basically told Nicky in Maryland that she should put up with being poked, pulled around and having her personal space violated just to avoid losing the store a customer.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. I don't know what universe you inhabit, but in this one grabbing a complete stranger by the arm is assault. Doesn't matter if Nicky is a retail worker, she still is worthy of respect and has the right to not be manhandled at work.

Oh, and you seem to think that service dogs have more rights than us retail drones. That's really insulting. I really don't see you putting up with being hauled about at work by some ignoramus, but then you probably feel you're elevated above all us worker drones.

To finish, no-one should ever have their personal space violated in this way, regardless of their job. And any customer who'd assault a retail worker isn't the kind of customer any decent business would want to retain, but a good staff member is worth a lot more.

Lace, who hates having her personal space invaded by ignorami.

[powerboy]

Okay, okay. Here's mine:

Damn, that is good. I truly would love to see that in her column, but will never get too.

[Aethian]

The next thing I know my face was slapped and the nurse/tech was yelling at me to never do that again.

If my kid had been slapped like that I would have slapped the nurse right back. Now if I had been the one slapped I would have screamed and started to cry (at 12 that is). If it happened last night I think I would have jumped and whacked her back before being fully awake.

BF has learned to stand back when waking me up for something quick, cause sometimes I flail.

[StevieJD]

Some of the stories about customers touching remind me of my encounter.


I was 12 and 1 month. Had to go to the hospital for test and had some complications so I spent a couple days in the Peds ward while I recovered.

These days they would have sent me home and wished me luck dealing with the insurance company, but I digress.


A nurse or tech came by my bed to draw blood at some ungodly hour of the morning. Well before sunrise. Maybe 4 AM. Woke me up.

Well I don't wake real well. The fire alarm could go off and I would roll over without much response. Love ones can puke in the bed and I would never notice.

The nurse or tech THOUGHT I was awake. I WAS for about 3 microseconds. I had already drifting off to never-neverland.

I remember feeling a pinch from the needle and my arm reflexed and touched something soft (boob???).

The next thing I know my face was slapped and the nurse/tech was yelling at me to never do that again.

[StevieJD]

That, combined with a recent news article that announced that chain retailers were now going to allow 'haggling' or 'price negotiation' makes me weep for the future of retail. And renews the desire to get that doctorate.

I saw the same crapola.


God have mercy on our souls.

I feel for the small stores. I have one of those gas/deli/small grocery combo stores up the road from me.

I am hearing more and more crapola in the store. People trying to haggle the price of gas. Haggle for an extra roll in the plate lunch. Argue about the price of a loaf of bread.

The owners are "friends". We compare businesses and customers. What I have overheard in their store is just the tip of the iceberg. And those articles about the big box stores allowing such activity is just causing even more problems.

[technical.angel]

Recovering Kinkoid, that was pure awesome.

I agree! See? ---V

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Thanks, Posture Moll.

Hey, guys, check it out. It's us, pretty much.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/ind...?topic=29058.0

I hope Abby's wearing a seatbelt and a crash helmet. She'll retract that advice, mark me.

[Posture Moll]

Recovering Kinkoid, that was pure awesome.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Okay, okay. Here's mine:


Dear Abby

I have a problem. I regularly have strangers grabbing, pawing, and otherwise touching me inappropriately. I see a man once a week that does his level best to grab or touch my breasts or butt. Another man grabbed and squeezed my hand so hard my knuckles ached for about two hours after. I’ve had my hair stroked and pulled, my clothing tugged, my arms grabbed. I’ve been poked, prodded, and shoved. Really, I suspect this behavior in some cases borders on assault and/or sexual harassment. Should I speak up?

I’m guessing you’re going to tell me to speak up for myself and that nobody should have to put up with having their space invaded like that against their will.

Oh, wait. I forgot to mention that I work in the service industry in a job that has me serving the public. Do you want to change your answer now? After all, I might anger the touchy-feely person if I stand up for my rights to my own body. And it’s better for me to feel violated than to piss off a jerk, right?

I’m guessing now you’ll tell me that for the sake of my employer making money, I should just grin and bear it. Should I mention that I’m not a hooker and my boss is not a pimp? I mean, nowhere in my job description does it say “Allow the public free range of my body.” Oh, same answer, huh? Just suck it up and quit whining, got it. You’re right, I have no right to be respected as a human being. This quote sums it up pretty well: “But to tell someone that a touch on the hand, arm or shoulder is unwelcome could lose you -- and the store -- a customer, and I don't recommend it.”

Oh, wait, I forgot one other detail. I’m a service dog.

I bet you want to change your answer again, don’t you? I know you think a working dog has more right to expect respect than a working human, as per your earlier columns. I will quote you here: “ It's amazing how many animal lovers do not grasp the fact that when they see an assistance dog out in public that the animal is working. Although wanting to reach out and touch it is natural, it is no more correct than it would be to pet a dog that works in law enforcement.”

That’s right folks…don’t pet working service dogs. Go find a human with a nametag and feel them up instead!

Spot

[Kelly Lynne]

Here's #18

Dear Abby,

Although I usually appreciate your advice, I had to respond to your letter to Nicki, the retail worker who didn't like being touched. Your response basically indicated that she should deal with it or work somewhere else, implying that customers have the right to invade a retail worker's personal space.

Everyone has a right to their personal space, and no one should have to put up with unwanted touching. Legally, an unwanted touch is even considered assault. Depending on the context, it could also be sexual harassment. (Imagine, for example, a male customer putting his hand on Nicki's shoulder and letting it linger there.)

I hope you would encourage all your readers to respect other people. As customers, that means refraining from touching workers. As a worker dealing with the public, it means being polite, but not submitting to an invasion of personal space. "Would you mind not touching me? No offense, but I'm a bit protective of my personal space" shouldn't offend anyone.

Thanks,
Kelly

[Lace Neil Singer]

If I can think of anything non sweary, I will. XD

[Kyree]

if you haven't already done so it might be a good idea to, just saying

Yes, please guys.

[crazylegs]

Well a quick count of posts here shows that at least 17 negative responses to her advice have been give, surely there are more people who will have responded as well.

(if you haven't already done so it might be a good idea to, just saying')

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I seriously doubt ya'll are the only ones pissed enough to write about this. She's probably going to get bowled over by a tidal wave of pissed of letters.

I'll probably write, too. When I do, I'll copy you all.