"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[Tito]

Believe me, they would call you at home if they got ahold of your phone number.

That's exactly why I used to refuse to give my last name if someone asked for it. Sure I ticked off a few people, but do you think that I care? I did not need them being able to look me up in the phone book.

[Susie Derkins]

I remember going to the grand opening of a Big Lots store in the strip mall where I worked. I was on my lunchbreak and wearing my Hallmark uniform, and while I was in there I saw a girl I used to work with and we started chatting. A man walks up, stands about a foot away from us with a little grin on his face, and just watches us talk (he looked as though he were watching a particularly interesting tennis match).

After about 30 seconds of that, I turned to him and said, "Yes?" He (of course) had some question about something in the store. I informed him that I didn't work there, and he said "Oh, the uniform threw me!" I waved a hand toward the cash registers and pointed out that the people who actually DID work there didn't wear uniforms. He was nice about the whole thing, but clueless!

[COMINATCHA]

It actually happened to me today. I was walking through Target (which I haven't worked at for some time now), my bag on my shoulder, drink in my hand, looking at the makeup. I was wearing jeans, red high heeled shoes, and a white top white some lace through it. I also had a bright red flower pinned in my hair.

A lady called out to me "Do you work here?"

I looked up at her and just shook my head as I drank my juice.

"Can I get some service over here?" she yells out to me.

I decide to just carry on shopping and pretend I've suddenly become deaf and can't hear her.

She starts walking closer to me, so I quickly get out of there! Hehe.

I thought it was a bit obvious I wasn't working there, but after reading through some of these posts, it's clear that people just don't pay attention to stuff - ever!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I want them to come to my work and do the same thing.

Did you read the Suicide Jumper improv? That was brilliant!

[Jester]

Barefootgirl, I love this site, and bitterwaitress.com, I really do, but sorry....Improv Everywhere absolutely rocks.

I hope you can settle for second favorite.

[Barefootgirl]

They are now my new official favorite site.

Er, present company excepted, I presume ?

[Jester]

http://www.improveverywhere.com/miss...?mission_id=57

Anyone who has ever been asked if they worked somewhere they didn't will LOVE this.

Okay, I spent the last several DAYS going through that whole site, and laughed my silly little butt off. Could not believe how hilarious it was, INCLUDING the Best Buy one, despite what some people here may think. They are now my new official favorite site.

[Greenday]

Hah, I finally got one. Might be a little weak but it still counts in my book.

I was working the other day at the racetrack(I don't actually work for the racetrack, I work for a company that rents out stand and sells food and such), when my bladder decided it was a lil full. I head to the bathroom and did my thing. I had just finished washing my hands and got some paper towel from the dispenser. Some guy was trying to figure out the complex system of getting paper towels. It's one of those dispensers that you move in front of the sensor and it gives you some. I waved my hand in front of it and he happily took the paper. He then looked at me and said, "Wow, you must work for the track!" I just looked at him oddly and said, "Um, no, I work for *insert company I work for*" He leaves and then I look at the track worker who gives out paper towel to the people at the other side of the sinks. We both had a laugh and I went back to work.

The odd thing is, the track workers shirt is a red, mine is maroon. His shirt says Monmouth Park, mine doesn't say anything. All the track workers in all the bathrooms are Mexican, I'm, well, not. Come on, just cause I know how to work a paper towel dispenser, I must work for the track? That's sad.

[Cvstos]

When this sort of thing happens, you should really push the issue, I think. They should have to be mortified, and they should have their nose rubbed in the crappy way they treat others. What if you'd said something like "why are you embarassed now? I'm the same person I was when you weren't too embarassed to act like I was beneath you." She'd think twice next time, I promise that.

Now that is too perfect!! Next time I'm definitely using that line, and whatever else I can think of to drive the point home. Thank you!

[theredbaron47]

When this sort of thing happens, you should really push the issue, I think. They should have to be mortified, and they should have their nose rubbed in the crappy way they treat others. What if you'd said something like "why are you embarassed now? I'm the same person I was when you weren't too embarassed to act like I was beneath you." She'd think twice next time, I promise that.

I couldn't have said it better myself. It is the dream-come-true for retail slaves everywhere... the opportunity to actually mouth off BACK to the SC without fear of losing your job. These SC's really need to have a dose of their own medicine. The guy your hubby mouthed back at was called out on it, and I hope he felt like a complete jerk. Maybe now he'll think twice before belittling retail employees.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

she raises her voice a bit "EXCUSE ME" i turn around all the way, good ol logo on my shirt, which was not hobby lobby. being a irritated myself by now i ask a very firm "What?" she turned a thousand shades of shade red "oh, you don't work here." ya think?

When this sort of thing happens, you should really push the issue, I think. They should have to be mortified, and they should have their nose rubbed in the crappy way they treat others. What if you'd said something like "why are you embarassed now? I'm the same person I was when you weren't too embarassed to act like I was beneath you." She'd think twice next time, I promise that.

This exact thing happened to the husband in Best Buy. (I dont' know why he attracts them, I swear. But he really does seem to. ) He was wearing a light blue oxford (Kinko's again). Best Buy wears bright blue golf shirts.
Computer section looking at monitors. Guy next to him asks a question.

SC: So, are these compatable with blah blah?
Hubby: I really don't know about that particular machine.
SC: (nastily) Well shouldn't you?

At that point, hubby clues in to the fact the guy thinks he works there and turns to face the guy with a really nasty scowl.

SC: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you worked here.
Hubby: My ass, you're sorry. You're only sorry because you just realized you're mouthing off to someone who DOESN'T have to take your shit.

Embarassed,the guy split. But really, why are they only embarassed by their behavior if the person isn't an employee? Their behavior would be disgusting if they did it in an empty room.

[Format C]

There are two times in which I was at Borders and I've been asked "Do you work here?" Both times I was wearing a shirt and a tie and I resisted the temptation to say "I am too well-dressed to be an employee." No offense if you work at Borders.

[Barefootgirl]

I left the front lines of retail several years ago, but I don't think I ever left my "helpful" aura behind. There are certain shops where I can guarantee that someone will ask me for help within minutes of crossing the threshold, and they are obviously not mistaking me for a staffmember, since I am normally with my mum and pushing my three year old daughter in a shopping trolley...People also ask me for directions everywhere i go, because apparently I look like a local everywhere. This was particularly interesting when it happened in the Dominican Republic and Singapore (at least in Singapore the woman asked in English, in the DR it was in Spanish and ihadn't a clue what he was saying to me)

The Number One favourite place for this to happen is the oriental supermarket near my mum's house. Every single time I go in there, at least two people will ask me if I know where something is, or even better, if i know what something is (last time it was some weird dried fungus). My mum's theory is that I look "foreign" enough for people to assume I know what I'm buying there, but my dead posh English accent proves that I am "safe" to talk to (if only they knew!).

[Canarr]

I got that once, visiting my favorite book store - I do a lot of reading, and consequently spend a lot of time in book stores. Oh, how I wish we had some of your Barnes & Nobles over here... but I digress.

One day, while looking at some new arrivals (maybe I looked like I was tidying up or whatever), a middle-aged woman approached me and asked for books from a certain author. She was polite enough, I was in no hurry and there were no actual employees in sight, so I showed her over to the section where she'd find what she was looking for. She was looking for a gift, so she didn't actually know anything about the author; I spent a good ten minutes detailing the various series available, and she ended up taking four books to the register.

About ten minutes later, the manager approached me (we'd chatted a few times, but didn't really know each other), grinned at me and said if I'd like, there was a coffee and pastry for me in their break room - since we were colleagues now. Apparently, the woman I'd helped had pointed me out to the manager and spoken well of my assistance.

[icia]

once i was in a hobby lobby when i had just gotten off work (btw, their uniforms looking NOTHING like ours). my friend and i were standing and talking when a lady walks up behind me and pokes me in the shoulder. "if you could bring yourself to stop talking with your friend, would you tell me where the large candycanes are" guess what tone she used. >> i turned around (the poke nearly did me in i don't like being touched) "i'm sorry, i don't know" i turned back around to my friend, who's just staring at this lady behind me. she raises her voice a bit "EXCUSE ME" i turn around all the way, good ol logo on my shirt, which was not hobby lobby. being a irritated myself by now i ask a very firm "What?" she turned a thousand shades of shade red "oh, you don't work here." ya think?

i think i've figured out why so many people mistake us for employees, not necessarily because we look like them (cause quite a few cases people are wearing streetclothes) but maybe it's cause we actually don't have our heads where the sun doesn't shine and we look like we know what we're doing. >>