"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[NoodleBoy]

on a few occasions when I'm in a store, I've had the ridiculous misfortune of asking another customer for help, then looking like a big dumbass.

thing is, though, I usually try to check if their clothes match what other employees of the store are wearing, and almost every time it does, with sublte differences.

I've had it happen to me, too, in a bookstore where my friend works, because there they're told to wear black unprinted shirts and blue jeans, and guess what I happen to wear alot.

[Dog Welder]

The correct response in this situation is to pass her along to a balding, bearded colleague who has thick glasses and is rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

What? What? I'm allowed an easy one from time to time...

Rapscallion

No, no, no. Keep your hands cold before the fitting because then...
um, I'll shut up now.




















pointy.

[Rapscallion]

I don't know if it was the same customer, but I got the hint, and I stripped off my uniform faster than... well, a professional who strips off his uniform, I guess.... :P

Usually done quite slowly, I understand.

Rapscallion

[RebeccaOTool]

I used to get that at Blockbuster EVERY FREAKIN' TIME I went in!
Me: *Browsing Horror Titles*
SC: Where's 'Free Willy'?
Me: What?
SC: 'Free....Willy?'
Me: Sir, I don't work here.
SC: *Mutters about Smartass Teenagers*
Me: O.O

[pbmods]

I left work one day still in uniform (when I was a service clerk, I was too ashamed to wear my uniform in public; once I was promoted to photo manager, I was a lot happier), and I walked down to the new store my company had recently installed. It was on the way to the train station, so I thought I'd check it out.

I really should have figured it out after the first customer asked me if we had any more milk. But, somewhat absentmindedly, I smiled at the customer and said that I didn't work at that store. I guess I got off lucky because he said, "Oh," and turned away.

Now why I didn't figure it out and take off my uniform right then, I'll never know. But I found myself standing at the photo counter schmoozing with the technician on duty, when somebody calls out from *all the way across the store* (but still in the same aisle) "You got any more milk?"

I shouted right back, with a big smile, "I'm sorry; I don't actually work at this store."

I don't know if it was the same customer, but I got the hint, and I stripped off my uniform faster than... well, a professional who strips off his uniform, I guess.... :P

Incidentally, stupid SC for shouting at me from 30 feet away. Could've walked up to me (I was standing by the entrance to the stockroom btw), and I would've referred you to an employee who *does* work at this store standing *right next to me*. But only if you make the effort first. So there!

[Lace Neil Singer]

It's the "are you sure?" question that bugs me the most.

[cougar_guy04]

At the lot job I work (wash the cars on 2 lots for a dealer), I usually get a truck off the lot to haul the hoses (200+ ft) and other stuff between lots. When I go to put the truck back in its slot, I'll occasionally get someone coming up, "We're interested in this Charger/Ram/Jeep/etc." I'm standing there in grungy shorts and cutoff T-shirt wondering how in the world I look like a salesman. I usually tell them that I willl go get S and have him come talk to them.

I wonder if I helped make a sale if they'd give me a commission

[RailroadMonster]

I know what you mean

I work in a grocery store and when people approach me when I'm off shift asking where something is I point vaguely toward the first few aisles and tell them that what they're looking for "should be down there somewhere."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I’ve been lurking here for some time and this thread is what moved me to pony up and register. I just had to tell this story.

I used to work at Kinko’s about a year ago. There’s a K mart between my home and the store I where I worked, so I would frequently stop off on the way home. My Kinko’s attire consisted of a light blue oxford and a pair of tan jeans or khakis. Sometimes a skirt. If you looked at me and decided this get up was “uniformy”, well, it had the word KINKO’S emblazoned across the right chest pocket. And since Kmart people wear bright red vests (I think), I do not look like a Kmart employee.

So it never failed to amaze me that EVERY time I went in there, I was accosted by people asking me for help. Sometimes, I’d get it multiple times per visit to the store. I really just didn’t get it. Never got anyone ask me “are you sure?” as many posters have. I’m not sure how I would even react to that level of stupidity. Probably say “Am I sure of WHAT?”

A couple times, it happened when I was just wearing ordinary clothes, so I’m not convinced it was the shirt, either.

So one day, I was in there, and I was headed to the registers, and I was thinking to myself, “oh, man. I made it through an entire shopping trip here without being accosted by a dimwit. Un freaking believable…”

About 6 feet away from me, a biker was sauntering toward the registers as well. He was a tall, broad shouldered, rough looking man with long, waist-length hair tied up in a graying braid. Black leather cap. Red t-shirt, torn, dirty jeans. Shiny black leather vest with flames all over it. Tattoos. Chains on his studded leather belt and heavy motorcycle boots. He had a collection of buttons and patches on his vest, one of which was quite large and said the word “F%#k” on it in big black letters.

As I was congratulating myself on a pest free shopping trip, another man stepped in front of the BIKER, and said, “Excuse me, do you work here?”

I sometimes hate to tell this story, because it sounds so unbelievable. Lemme tell you something. If I was gonna make up something, I’d make up something people would believe. But then, after reading the corn story on here, I feel like you all have seen this level of stupidity in action and can relate.

The biker looked down at the guy, sputtered a little, and blurted (not unkindly, but he was as flabbergasted as I was, I could tell.) “Dude…do I LOOK like I work here?”

“Um, well, I guess not.”

“No, I don’t work here.”

Guy shuffles off and I went over there and told the biker about what happens to me every time. He kind of laughed and gestured at himself, and said, “I’m a BIKER for crying out loud.”

I said, “yeah, I can see that.”

We had a good laugh over it. Sheesh! What is wrong with some of these people?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Had this a few times... do we retail slaves give off an aura or something?

Once, I was in New Look, looking at tops. I was in a bad mood, cuz I was PMSing, and dressed in a long black velvet skirt, black platform boots and a Marilyn Manson t-shirt. This girl came up to me, carrying a top and said, "I want my money back. This top's ripped." I glared at her and said, "I don't work here." She replied, "Are you sure?" I practically shouted at her, "I don't flipping work here, dumb ass! Do I look like I work at New Look?!" She backed away from me and went off to pester someone else, hopefully an actual staff member.

I'm not normally that bad tempered, but when I'm PMSing... lord help the person who bugs me.

[ringo]

I was at home depot looking for screws. Digging in the drawer to find the exact kind for my LCD monitor (which I brought with me for fitting). Had this guy ask, do you know anything about screws and stuff? I was like, I don't know a thing. Then this same guy or different guy as I was really looking for the screws not paying attention to anyone else, shouted out loud "Customer assistant needed in lane 14". Then asked me, are you just a merchandiser? I was like, I don't even work here. I didn't have an orange shirt or a vest. It was a blue green type shirt.

So that was my "Do you work here" story that I can remember

[Acolyte]

I've gotten the 'do you work here?' thing so many times at the local game store that I was jokingly called the 'volunteer employee' for a while.
Granted, I can see why-I've helped numerous people log into the store's gaming LAN, offered more advice on the store's Game Workshop line then the average GW employee, and run gaming tournies in the store.
Most of the time, I don't mind-the main clients of the store are geeks, or parents buying for geeks, who are generally pretty polite.

[Lord of the Waffles]

In response to the Best Buy improv, I thought it was funny up to a point. Getting the store security involved and later on the police was taking it too far. I think it would have been a lot funnier if it were maybe no more than ten people (friends) who pulled the stunt. Eighty is way too far for a single store, in my opinion.

Definitely. I think taking 80 people into a single store would make it bleedingly obvious. A small group of friends spaced far apart would work better, but alas, what do I know?

SC: "Can't you help me with my bra fitting anyway?"

I don't get why people still ask you for help! Stupid people! Doesn't that lady realize she's asking a total stranger to help her with her underwear!? (Well, employees are strangers too, but at least they're accountable at work )

[Becks]

I appear to have some sort of undectable (to me, friends, family and other loved ones) scent that only SCs and various asshats can notice.

Nearly every place I step in to, people assume I work there. No matter what I'm wearing. I can be wearing my t-shirt that depicts Ralph Wiggum picking his nose to Victoria's Secret, and I'll STILL have people coming up to me, begging for help.

I just don't get it.

[theredbaron47]

In response to the Best Buy improv, I thought it was funny up to a point. Getting the store security involved and later on the police was taking it too far. I think it would have been a lot funnier if it were maybe no more than ten people (friends) who pulled the stunt. Eighty is way too far for a single store, in my opinion.