SC posts complaint about me online

[Redbeard]

He's gone from annoying to getting creepy.
Seriously, does this guy cry himself to sleep each night lamenting on how every woman that has been friendly to him in his life is secretly leading him on?

[rose_metal_nz]

Bah, he's just embarrassing himself further now. All I read in his original post was "wahhh I got turned down by a girl"
Best karma of all will be the nice customer-reviewer to respond to Captain Douchewaffle and shut him down. And for MORE customers to review nicely too

Actually........ Maybe you could offer something in-store for good online reviews?

[Jester]

I don't know how I managed to miss this for the last month, but I did. And now, I have a few comments.

Shocking, I know.

Before I address specific items, let me say that there are words for guys like this. Allow me to use a few of them now.

Loser. Douchebag. Asshole. Fuckwad. Dickhead. Clueless. Asswipe. Shithead. Lameass. Pussy. Twit. Assclown. Moron. Idiot. Imbecile. Peabrain. Numbskull. Nimrod. Wuss. Pathetic. Turd. Schmuck.

Well, I'm sure there are far more, but that's off the top of my head, and I'm sure you get the idea.

1. Says that one of the counter girls (description of me right down to my ponytail and the pentacle I always wear) used to "chat me up each time I was there". Says that he was 'dumb enough' to fall for my niceness at first, but then between him getting tired of reading comics AND the "realization that every other male customer was getting the same exact thing from her ended up bringing me to the point where I cancelled my subscriptions".

Claims that he left for about 6 months then decided to stop in again 'out of curiousity' and that I came up to him and "started the EXACT same BS again with "Oh, we really miss customers like you", "I really like the conversations we had", etc. " So he then tries to 'call my bluff' by asking if I wanted to go out for dinner sometime so we could have more 'conversations' and that I was then "spewing out some lame excuse for turning it down before I even finished talking. The point being: she expected me to fall for her act again."

Okay, this is just ridiculous. His basic problem with you is that you do your job well and are nice to the customers. But because your niceness to him is not special or some sort of romantic interest, you are suddenly a brazen whore just out to trick people into buying stuff.

Imagine that. Someone employed by a retail establishment actually getting people to buy stuff. Shocking. Clearly he is right, and you are, in fact, nothing but a shameless trollop out to deceive men with your whiles and convince them to buy the latest issue of Spiderman: Behind the Scenes.

In other words, the guy is--how shall I put this diplomatically--a fucking loser with no chance of getting laid in this or any other lifetime, nor any idea how the real world fucking works.

Yep. I'd say that was far more diplomatic than some other things I could have said.

...these review sites like yelp.com and yahoo.local are supposed to be for people to discuss stores. And even though we all know that only the SCs ever post to them, they aren't ever meant for personal vendettas against one person.

A minor disagreement here...I do not believe that only SC's post to such review sites. I know that my bar has received far more positive reviews than negative on yelp, urbanspoon, and other review websites, and I myself have been mentioned by name on several positive reviews. (Something my coworkers give me shit about but my management is thankfully quite aware of.)

The other problem is that he's essentially saying I'm a horrible person for being friendly to him.

Close. He's saying you're a horrible person for doing your job and being friendly to him, but not fucking him. What nerve! How can you even look at yourself in the mirror each morning?

Here I thought that good customer service meant remembering people, being nice to them, having actually conversations about their purchases (not just do you want a bag for that?) and generally showing that you appreciate them spending their money there.

It is. He's a douche.

What I don't get is why my usually routine of pleasant-ness seems to have utterly failed with this one...

Simple. He's a douche.

I'm at a loss as to what I should do.

Just keep doing your job as wonderfully as you've been doing it, and understand that there are people like this fucknut in the world that are just never going to understand that you being nice to them is not you wanting to bone them.

In other words, ignore him...he's a douche.

I don't evn know why I get so many guys asking me out...I'm not the only girl who works here, I don't wear ANY makeup, I never wear skirts, dresses or jewelry other than my pentacle. I usually just have my hair in a ponytail or headband...

To a lot of guy, myself included, that can be very hot. My biggest complaint about a lot of girls is too much damn makeup.

But what you look like is besides the point. It is quite normal for a guy to think that a girl is attractive, and to be interested in her. A decent guy would either chalk it up to her doing her job, or asking her out...but if she said no, having the decency to accept it and move on. This guy failed on both counts.

Because he is, after all, a.....what was that word again? Oh yes....douche.

Just because I'm a single woman who works at a gaming store doesn't mean I'm hard up for dates!

No. It just means that he's a....well, I think you get my point by now.

Has anyone else here, either female or male, had this happen to them? What did you do about it, and did it help? Or, conversely, if you've never had this problem, do you have any good advice about how to handle this?

I am not a gamer or a comic book guy. But I have been attracted to various women because they did share some of my interests, such as sports, bicycling, cooking, or beer. And at times, I have asked them out. Some have said yes. Most have said no. The ones who said no, I accepted it and moved on.

Why? Well, because I'm not a douche. Not most of the time, anyways.

As to your problem with guys hitting on you? Wear a fake wedding band. I suppose it's a cop out, but if you flash it whenever a guy starts trying to hit on you, you shouldn't even have to say anything.

You would think that would be the case. But you would be wrong. Witness all the comments to that very effect in this thread. I also know this from my various female friends. Guys will hit on women, and a lot of guys will hit on women no matter what. Hell, it's not just guys....I never got hit on more by women than the year I was engaged to The Brit. I didn't have a ring, but I guess I had that "I'm taken" vibe, and that seemed to draw them like moths to a flame. Or at least sugar ants to beer.

Also, it doesn't only happen in Comic Shops. More then a few here who work as servers in restaurants (and are female) can probably tell you similar stories.

I have been somewhat guilty of this. Not of thinking that the bartender/server was into me per se, but of being interested in them because of their physical attractiveness and their personality. In such situations, I either did nothing and let it go or asked said girl out, accepting their decision either way...which was more often than not a "no." The very idea about publicly complaining about them or their business because they had the "gall" to turn me down is just so ridiculous as to be laughable.

I'd hate to see how he is at a strip club.

As a former strip club DJ (yes, seriously), I think I can answer this.

Chances are he fell into one of three categories.

1. Broke zombie. Paid his admission, bought as little as he could, occasionally or perhaps never tipped the dancers, never got a private show, stared in awe at some or all of the naked women in front of him. Left dejected.

2. Flush zombie. Stared in awe at the naked women in front of him, but tipped his favorites incessantly, perhaps even buying lap dances or private shows from them, and showering them with whatever he could. Shocked he couldn't take them home. Left dejected.

3. Drunken assholes. Not used to being around hot naked women, went out of his way to show what a stud he was by loudly complimenting the girls, showering them with money, and generally being an obnoxious ass. Left dejected and against his will after the bouncers threw him out or kicked his ass for being too touchy with a dancer.

My experience tells me that the first two were far more common for this kind of socially inept and awkward loser douchebag.

Apparently he thinks that if you're nice to people, you must want to date them. Then, by being nice to everyone, that makes you some kind of whore and tease.

Apparently I'm a whore and a tease that wants to date the vast majority of people that come to my bar, male or female.

Oh wait, no...I'm just a nice guy who does his job that he immensely enjoys rather well.

Yes, my friends/co-workers tell me I suffer from Ugly Duckling Syndrome. Needless to say, I don't believe them.

Believe them. The evidence seems to be in their favor.

I also like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain...

Bonus points for the Rupert Holmes reference! But the question remains, are you not into yoga, and do you have half a brain?

It's not your fault that you've been sexually harassed by a customer...

I would like to politely disagree here, as what the customer in question is doing is NOT sexual harassment. It's assinine, it's douchey, it's lame, and it's stupid, but it is not sexual harassment, which be definition is unwanted sexual advances or comments along the same lines. What the guy in question is doing is retaliating in a public forum for LACK of sexual advances or interest by the OP, although the OP never mentioned said idiot making unwanted advances or comments to her at the store. Douchebaggery, yes. Sexual harrassment, no.

Any suggestions on what I should put?

I personally suggest that you just ignore this asshole. Don't give him any more ammunition for his idiotic reindeer games. Ignore him. Don't respond to him. Don't fan the flames. Look, the other dude that posted the positive review can defend himself if he wants to, but as an employee of the store, it is best that you just ignore this, not only because your boss has a policy about it, but because anything you say will just exacerbate the situation.

I am not saying that your comments would be poorly written or that your argument would be unsound. But not matter how brilliantly thought out or written, anything you say will just be taken by this idiotic fucktard and twisted around to his own perception of reality. Why add to it? Why bother letting him know that you've even NOTICED his dumbass tirade?

Besides, he doesn't need your comments to show what an idiot he is. His comments are doing that well enough already.

Ignore him. Let it go. Be the better person that you know you are.

Or, take a look at my new-fangled "How to Deal With Females!" list below.

DO hold the door open for a woman if she is carrying stuff or looks tired.
DON'T hold the door open for a woman if she's walking unaided/fast/arrogantly.

I respectfully disagree. A true gentleman holds the door open for EVERYONE, male or female. It would take the most hardened bitter feminazi ever to get up in arms about someone holding open the door for EVERYONE.

Yes, some people will still be assholes. But that's their problem, not the gentleman's. Because he has been the better person.

[ShadowBall]

Not really in working environments, but rather social ones, I've also found that saying you've got a boyfriend (whether or not it's true) definitely does not stop a lot of guys. I've had several guy friends hit on me anyway even when I said I was not single - had to disown one completely because he would not stop asking me to sleep with him and I got a tremendously bad vibe from him. As in he was more than just socially awkward - I think he's very fucked in the head. Another one just hauled off and kissed me without warning - granted, I thought he was kinda hot so I dare say I wasn't quite as horrified as I should have been, but still.

On the other hand, I may not be the best one to offer insight on such things because I am often ignorant to flirting unless it's very very blatant. I think that stems from me thinking I'm the most hideous person to grace the planet and how could anyone flirt with me?

Geez, I didn't realize us girl gamers were such a hot commodity. I guess I didn't consider it because I've played games all my life and just find it normal. Still, the whiny little ass who complained sounds like a little bitch who can't deal with rejection, so he's gonna go be butthurt online and seek validation.

I'm guessing this is the kind of guy who is very socially awkward and is used to the women he approaches being nice to him out of politeness and hoping he'll just walk away on his own. Much like how someone might treat a free-range special needs individual who goes around trying to hug everyone. Of course, he probably also feels he's God's gift to women and that they all secretly want him - they just need to come to their senses and realize what a sexy piece of man-meat he is. Yeah, this would be my ex, and he acts shocked when he can't keep a girlfriend for longer than 1-2 weeks.

But in short, no matter what you do at work, there will always be the occasional asshole who takes issue with it. Ignore those people because they are just looking to pick a fight or are simply stupid.

[PepperElf]

I am not saying that your comments would be poorly written or that your argument would be unsound. But not matter how brilliantly thought out or written, anything you say will just be taken by this idiotic fucktard and twisted around to his own perception of reality. Why add to it? Why bother letting him know that you've even NOTICED his dumbass tirade?

This.

If you communicate with him you will only feed his problems.

He started out confusing your friendliness as a sexual invitation. Then he got "offended" seeing others getting your attention. Now he's trying to get you to "admit" that you were wrong to tease him so much.

And now he wants to communicate more with you... to what end? I think this has moved beyond just a sore-ego issue to an attempt to justify his actions and rage towards you.


In all honesty, I think he has a serious potential to become a real-life threat.

[Evandril]

I respectfully disagree. A true gentleman holds the door open for EVERYONE, male or female. It would take the most hardened bitter feminazi ever to get up in arms about someone holding open the door for EVERYONE.

Yes, some people will still be assholes. But that's their problem, not the gentleman's. Because he has been the better person.

The women I've had complain over me holding the door generally haven't seen me holding it open for other people as well...and my standard response is "So hold the door open for me next time" which tends to confuse them...and that amuses me

[Stone]

I personally suggest that you just ignore this asshole. Don't give him any more ammunition for his idiotic reindeer games. Ignore him. Don't respond to him. Don't fan the flames. Look, the other dude that posted the positive review can defend himself if he wants to, but as an employee of the store, it is best that you just ignore this, not only because your boss has a policy about it, but because anything you say will just exacerbate the situation.

I am not saying that your comments would be poorly written or that your argument would be unsound. But not matter how brilliantly thought out or written, anything you say will just be taken by this idiotic fucktard and twisted around to his own perception of reality. Why add to it? Why bother letting him know that you've even NOTICED his dumbass tirade?

Besides, he doesn't need your comments to show what an idiot he is. His comments are doing that well enough already.

Ignore him. Let it go. Be the better person that you know you are.

I'm afraid your advice is too late.


Goddess, I hope you didn't give him a direct line to you by emailing him--that's the last thing you want to do.

[Geek King]

The women I've had complain over me holding the door generally haven't seen me holding it open for other people as well...and my standard response is "So hold the door open for me next time" which tends to confuse them...and that amuses me

Quite. My standard answer, stolen from elsewhere, "I hold the door because I am a gentleman, not because you are a lady."

[Jester]

Oh, Geek King, that' good....that's really, really good. I like that!

[Ironclad Alibi]

The women I've had complain over me holding the door generally haven't seen me holding it open for other people as well...and my standard response is "So hold the door open for me next time" which tends to confuse them...and that amuses me

I briefly dated a woman who didn't want me to open the car door for her, or open the restaurant door for her, or pull out her chair for her. She was a very liberated woman. Odd thing though. She had no objections to me getting the check.

[Sapphire Silk]

Quite. My standard answer, stolen from elsewhere, "I hold the door because I am a gentleman, not because you are a lady."

I love it!

I hold doors for people all the time . . . because I am a lady. For example, I was leaving a restaurant tonight, and a couple with a young daughter were entering as I was leaving. I held the door open because the kid was walking ahead of the parents, no way she could hold the door herself, and Dad was a few steps back.

Mom was quite gracious in thanking me.

Being a lady is no more about having people do for you than being a gentleman is about doing for the lady.

It's about MUTUAL respect and greasing the social wheels with lubrication.

[dragon_wings]

The women I've had complain over me holding the door generally haven't seen me holding it open for other people as well...and my standard response is "So hold the door open for me next time" which tends to confuse them...and that amuses me

Omg! I love this.
As a polite woman I'll open a door for anyone and if someone has held the door open for me I thank them as I enter/exit.
Gender equality goes both ways.

[EricKei]

I hold doors for people all the time . . .

.. Because I like tho think I'm a gentleman ^_^ Besides, old fashioned or not, it's kinda expected here. When I was a kid, I would sometimes even get publically chastised if I dared to enter/exit a room *without* holding the door for someone following me. Different strokes for different folks.

[Jester]

I briefly dated a woman who didn't want me to open the car door for her, or open the restaurant door for her, or pull out her chair for her. She was a very liberated woman. Odd thing though. She had no objections to me getting the check.

That's not liberated. It's cheap. It's hypocritical. But it's not liberated.

My ex-fiance was liberated. She was a woman with her own opinions and views on life, and could and did do anything for herself that she wanted, never letting something silly like her being a woman get in the way of it. She also had no problem with me holding doors for her, or getting her chair....but she often picked up the check, or we split it. Why? Because if a woman is liberated, she believes in gender EQUALITY, not in using her liberation to her advantage when it works for her or her wallet.

[Flying Grype]

I would like to politely disagree here, as what the customer in question is doing is NOT sexual harassment.

Being made to feel ashamed for one's sexual behaviour or lack thereof is indeed a form of sexual harassment. Misinterpreting friendliness as flirting is small in magnitude but involves the same thought processes as thinking that a revealing dress is an invitation to sex. He didn't do much overtly when he was in the store, because he's a little wuss who doesn't know how to talk to women (or anyone, maybe) so the harassment started when he got online.

I suspect this is why so many geek girls can assume the Daria facade of being bitter, snarky, and bitchy by default -- we love each other for it and it doesn't attract the losers at conventions or in shops. And again, the fact that we do it to repel the losers means we're afraid of (and have experienced) unwanted sexual attention from them.