Dear....

[Mike Taylor]

Dear Car,

Please stop breaking down on me once every goddamn month!

-- Mike

[Becks]

Dear Mike Taylor,

You do NOT want to know how I read that at first.

Meandering back to the gutter/sewer,

Becks

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear EQ,

Since I'll technically* be in your care when I move out there, will you still be considered Head of Household? Would you have to file me as a dependent?

Just wondering,
Baby Bro
*All my mail and stuff will be registered to her address when I move out there and get my hands on a bigger RV, plus I have to use her as a place for me to sleep when I get sick or lose track of my medications (EQ's a good nurse). I can't take care of myself.

[draftermatt]

Dear Matt,

I've filed every year for the past two years as HOH, I was never told I had to have children but it seems the law states otherwise (and I first did my taxes with H&R Block!). I was told that since my parents didn't claim me as a Dependant, I could file as Head of Household. So I did.
I just wrote that I was HOH on my W-2s. I think I'll be going to my work's accountant and asking him to change it though. Since it does me little to no good anyways.
The requirements are:
* You are unmarried or "considered unmarried" on the last day of the year.
* You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year.
* A "qualifying person" lived with you in the home for more than half the year (except for temporary absences, such as school). However, if the "qualifying person" is your dependent parent, he or she does not have to live with you.

Hope that helps, though I fear I may have confused you more.
-EQ

No it helped. It makes me think the H&R Block lady was wrong because at the time my parents were not claiming me, I lived with my GF who made less money than me (she's now my wife and makes more, lol).

But it means I couldn't have claimed last year. But it explains why my wife's coworker's BF files HOH.

Thank-you.

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear sun,

Rise faster. I need decongestant, and I refuse to ride the bus in the dark to Walgreens. HURRY UP!

Dear cold,

I have will have many ninjas awaiting you once I return from Walgreens. Be ready. Don't have a party with my other sicknesses while I'm gone.

If you do, I'll only hire more ninjas. Do not try me; you will not win.

--RP

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear RP,

Hope you're feeling better.

Not sick,
Rummy

-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. & Child Rum,

Please do not be waking me up at 6 AM again! I no like being up at that hour. I'm tired and cranky. I'm drinking coffee which is making me more jittery and not so much awake. Please Child Rum ... Close your eyes and go back to sleep when Mommy tells you to do so!

Waiting for the Orkin Man to get here,
Rummy

[the_std]

Dear World,

I smell like strawberries and satsuma.

To quote everyone's favourite wannabe paranormal investigator, I'm delicious!

Om nom-ingly,
Me

[KiaKat]

Dear the_std,

If I were closer, I might test that comment.

Many om-noms,

Kia

Dear People Who Shop At My Store,

Please come to the tasting tonight.

Love,

Your Local Alcohol Purveyor

Dear Truffles,

Please be delicious and tempt people to come to the tasting.

Thank you and many noms,

The One Who Ordered You

Dear Tasting Event,

Please go off without a hitch. I know we're shorthanded tonight, I know we aren't as planned as we should be, and I know the owners are out of town, but PLEASE go well.

Love,

The Store Manager

[monolayth]

Dear dispatch,

Sorry I did not go to your event. I was way tired when I could go and could not keep my eyes open any longer. I hope you had fun.

still sleepy,

Monolayth

[Dreamstalker]

Dear mom's boss:

You are insane. "I need to know which light bulb is better, the yellow or white light. I can't decide"?! Please. It's light that you can see by. And what's your phobia about de-seeding pomegranates? ...I know, you don't like doing anything because there's someone else there who can. I wonder why you haven't designated someone to go into the office for you.

Annoyed that I could live comfortably on the bank interest you accumulate in a month,
Dreamstalker (and mom)

-------------

Dear Ex:

FOAD plzkthx. Again. Am I an evil wolf for having zero sympathy after listening to you last week? Maybe, but you know I despise whiners who ignore sound advice. And for the love of Hastur stop sending me bad homemade porn pics. Especially NOT to my cell phone...for all you know I could be at work when that message comes through.

And you wonder why I screen my calls,
D

----
Dear Job Market:

Hire me! Please!

[PhotoChick]

Dear child,
When you come home from your dad's on sunday you better have learned to sleep. Waking up at 3:30 (or 2:30 or whatever) and screaming until your sister wakes up is not ok. Not going back to bed and screaming bloody murder is also not ok. Sleeping in my full size bed with you, your sister and Mamie (grandma) is NOT fun. The fact that it took your sister almost 30 minutes to sleep this afternoon because you were screaming is not ok. And that it took you almost an hour and me having to put you on my bed.. not ok.

Shape up,
maman

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Child Rum,

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself at Chuck E. Cheese yesterday. It will be a long time before we go there again. I plan on going to Chuck E. Cheese myself in the near future to eat lunch & spend all the tokens so I get you something cheesey from there and give it to you.

All my love,
Mommy

[Mike Taylor]

Dear Mike Taylor,

You do NOT want to know how I read that at first.

Meandering back to the gutter/sewer,

Becks

Dear Becks

At least I'd be getting some satisfaction out of the arrangement.

[AdminAssistant]

BoyThing,

You know I'm not the demanding type, and I know it's just a stupid Hallmark holiday, and I know that Mother Nature decided to give me a little V-day weekend 'gift'. But I don't give three damns. It's Valentine's Day, I want to spend it with you, and if you go out with your friend I will be very upset. And I'm getting a little tired of all this.

*substituting Clue X 4 with Everlasting Frying Pan of Knowledge*

~ GT

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear Dreamstalker and AdminAssistant,

Guys can be so infuriating. I'm sorry. *offers chocolate and hugs*

Dear the_std,

Thanks for the late night laugh. I needed it.

Dear Cold-fighting Ninjas (Mucinex, Benadryl, Emergen-C, Ricola, and herb tea),

I love you. Don't ever leave me. *hugs!~*

Dear Walgreens,

Thank you for existing.

Dear CSers,

Thank you for listening to my whining. If I am ever awesome enough to have more than a collection of used tissues and dreams, you shall be rewarded rightfully.

--RP