Dear....

[daleduke17]

Dear Irv:

The Brewers might be better once they get rid of that dead weight in the bullpen with "Gagne" on the back of his jersey.

- Duke

Dear Boston Red Sox:

Never make another trade of idiotic porportions like last year. Receiving Gagne in trade for Gabbard and Murphy (and Engel Beltre) was one of the stupider things I've seen done. Gagne has a shoulder that has had problems while Gabbard had very nicely filled in for Curt Schilling during Curt's stint on the DL. Murphy is coming into his own and would have been helpful the last few weeks while just about everyone on the starting 25 was hurt or sick.

Please, don't do that again.

- Duke

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Crazy,

I really don't appreciate you telling my best friend you are going to tip over his motorcycle. I especially don't appreciate you telling him if he calls the police to get you removed from his house that you'll tell them he hit you (when he didn't). You realize that saying stuff like that to someone who is also a coworker is likely to get you in trouble at work or at least really carefully watched. By the way, your message to him about how you still love him and miss him and can't wait to see him at shift change tomorrow? Creeeeeeepy. I already didn't like you. The threats to make false claims of abuse didn't help. Stop screwing with my best friend who I am at times very protective of. It's over. Really.

Love,
The one who's still in his life despite all your efforts.

To any future girls,

I'd recommend not trying the 'her or me' approach. It won't work. I been around much longer and am basically part of the family. You're going to get disapointed. And I should warn you. He only gets amused when he gets to say "her". I'll stay out of your way and even try to be nice and friendly if you want. Just realize you don't trump me and no amount of putting out is going to change that.

Love,
The best friend who's not going anywhere

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear daleduke17:

Get rid of Gagne?

You so funny! The Brewers have already said he's going to continue to be the closer. Seems Doug Melvin and Ned Yost love them some Gagne, or at least they have to for the money they're paying him

He actually hasn't been much of a problem lately because he never gets a chance to come in and save a game anymore. Right now every Brewers pitcher not named Ben Sheets looks about as ridiculous on the mound as a guy with no hands trying to pleasure himself.

Irv

PS--Looking forward to that Brewers-Red Sox series coming up. I bet the Brewers get outscored 60 to 3 or something.

[Evil Queen]

Dear Arriving Guests,

One? Just ONE arrival?! Come on poeple, you do NOT want me to be bored at work, do you?!

Need more customers,
-EQ

[the_std]

Dear Friday,
If you had a physical body, I would love you long time! Thank you for being today! I am eternally grateful.

Mwah,
Me

[Elspeth]

Dear Mariners:

What in the hell happened??!?!?!?!?!? And why are you people fighting. We can't be worse then the Rangers.

Your loyal fan how is very annoyed and wants Lou back as the manager

Dear Seahawks:

Please don't suck this year.

Your loyal fan who is wishing football season would get here

Dear Vacation

WOULD YOU GET HERE ALREADY!!!!!!! I can wait until till July to go to Comic Con and Vegas and Disneyland

Tired and wants to hurt her co-workers with her stupid stick

Dear Pollen:

Go away I don't like you

[blas]

Dear ex bf,

After posting in the "why i don't like hot guys" thread, I'm now wondering if you have a new gf yet, and if you do, I'll bet my entire loan I just got that she's just like your last ex before me, and you're probably paying her way as well with rent and everything else under the sun. I hope you have a great life paying some girl's way, even though you can barely afford to keep yourself clothed and sheltered. But it's what you want and I have to respect that. You can be miserable and broke while I spend my life with someone who is willing to accept a girl who can pay her own way.

I still have no idea what happened between us. I never knew that love had an on/off switch like a light in the house. But whatever it was, it was totally your loss. Have fun filing for bankruptcy!

(not so much) love,
blas

[monolayth]

Dear Bloodsugar,

Hey lets stay above 80 please! Last night when you made my body freak out it cause my friends to worry.

thanks, the person your screwing around with.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear RetailWorkhorse,

Ask and you shall receive.

Behold the devil-moth.

Daisy

Dear Demon-Moth,

I have your siblings in a jar. Leave the Daisy-ness alone or the little black fuzzies gets it.

All my Luff~
RetailWorkhorse

[draftermatt]

Dear Person that robbed the bank literally 500 ft from my door that had the police helicopter searching my neighborhood,

Damn it! I thought I was done with this when we moved from the dump town to this town, and this (upscaleish) neighborhood. That said, I really hope you are gone for good or caught, because if I see you sneaking around I will use that baseball bat (and I have 6 to choose from) and I've seen my dog when she gets violent, you wouldn't like it.

Hoping your caught and in jail,

Matt (i.e. the redneck in the midst of all the city folk)

[Evil Queen]

Dear Suzuki,

Why do you need new shocks at nearly $70 a tire?! I don't have that kinda money! Do you realize that I can BUY a new car for the money I've poured into you?! Why do you have to be so difficult?! *sniffles* Why do you hate me?! Please don't make me spend my tax refund to fix you; I have to save money this year! PLEASE LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE YOU!!

Your loving (but sad) owner,
-EQ

[Slytovhand]

Dear Chelsea.

Go kick some butt this weekend!

Dear MU,

Go get your butt kicked this weekend


Dear Spurs,

Please try to resemble a good team for once


Dear me,

Try to stop writing letters to EPL teams that will never read them...


Dear Arenaboy,
Just make sure your guys end up on top...right?????


Slyt

[Evil Queen]

Dear Guests,

This is very odd for me to come to work and have NO ARRIVALS! If you people continue to do this, I'm going to be out of a job!
Oh, and that SINGLE GUEST I was waiting on FOREVER never showed up on my shift, or the next guy's shift.
Please please please let me get a bunch of walk-ins today! The rate for tonight is only $95, it's not too much to ask, is it??

Fearing the lack of a job,
-EQ



Dear XXDarrienX,

More Monopoly Tycoon when I get home! I'm sooo going to beat the pants off you and X!

Becoming computer game addicted,
-EQ



Dear Creative Streak,

Please return to me so I can start writing fantasy again. I was wanting to have been on my final draft by now so I could get a novel published this winter. It's hard to be a novel writing when I haven't... you know... written a novel yet. Please help me get my skinny arse in gear and make me write.

Wanting to badly to belong,
-EQ

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear EQ,

So how's that prompt/rewrite for that blurb from so long ago going?

-Awaiting an email with writing-goodness,
RetailWorkhorse

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear(NOT!) Sink & disposal and other stuff that are sink related,

Why did you have to break down 30 minutes before Mother's Day??? And Mother's Day is a SUNDAY. Do you think we can get a plumber out here that won't charge an arm and a leg? And it's technically an emergency as any time the dishwasher is run or the water from the faucet runs, water comes out of the disposal/pipes/stuff and waters the cabinet under the sink and my floor. F YOU!

Your owner,
IDaR
-----------------------------------------------
"Dearest" Husband,

When I tell you that I cannot stand, squat, bend at the knees, why do you not believe me? Especially when I do sit down, I start to cry because I have sciatica and it's really incredibly painful. F you too.

No lovey,
Your Wife