*sigh* dating drought

[artifical sweetner]

Meh, that's not so bad, I've never been on a date.

dont worry, youre not missing much

[dalesys]

Heh, I arranged to have a coffee with a gay female friend. She didn't show.

Even lesbians stand me up!

I've had a lesbian come to my house and pick me up on New Years Eve... and I'm a guy!

(my transport was out, she was security at one of the sites we supported, and our system malfed, so the officer on duty got to fetch the techie).

[Giggle Goose]

dont worry, youre not missing much

LOL amen to that! Dates suck; it's so much better to be friends with someone and jump into the relationship part. Only if it feels right, of course.

[Gravekeeper]

Haha, being a nocturnal bespectacled homebody hideous man beast I haven't had a date in....oh lets see....hmph.

You know its bad when you have to think about it. ;p

4-5 years?

Though I'll admit I haven't particularly been looking for one ( I'm not a big dater I suppose, I prefer the friends first approach ). I lurk on OkCupid ( good site, though I think the quizzes amuse me more than anything else ) but have only been approached by....creatures thus far.

My biggest obstacle in locating a suitable companion is simply intelligence. There are few people in my life whom I don't have to dial myself down a few notches to have a lengthy conversation with to prevent their eyes from growing confused and alarmed.

Combine that with inherent geekiness and diabolical sense of humour and its difficult to locate such a female. -.-

[Jester]

My biggest obstacle in locating a suitable companion is simply intelligence. There are few people in my life whom I don't have to dial myself down a few notches to have a lengthy conversation with to prevent their eyes from growing confused and alarmed.

Now that is something I can very much relate to.

I was dating this one girl a while back that my friend was convinced I would marry. I knew from the beginning it would never be that serious. When he asked me why that was, I told him that, not to be arrogant, but she was not on my intellectual level. *shrug* She wasn't.

The Brit? She was. Absolutely! My current squeeze? I often forget how truly smart she is. Scary smart. It's nice to be able to talk to someone who I don't need to mind my vocabulary....so far I have used one word she didn't understand. (For those playing at home, that word was "loquacious.") Any girl has her issues, of course (they are all insane, for one thing), but it's nice to be on the same playing field mentally as the person you're with.

[Gravekeeper]

but it's nice to be on the same playing field mentally as the person you're with.

Amen. Its hard enough just finding friends on the same playing field. -.-

[Reyneth]

Combine that with inherent geekiness and diabolical sense of humour and its difficult to locate such a female. -.-

And yet, in internet-land, you have a surplus of fangirls. If only real life mirrored internet life more!

I completely agree with you and Jester that there's a surfeit in idiots out there. It never ceases to amaze me the number of profiles on dating sites that are littered with horrible spellings of simple, common words and complete and total lack of capitalization or grammar. That is what they are putting out there for the first impression people will have of them?

Hmm, they have dating services for professional-types, high-income types, etc. Where's the one for the "above average intelligence" crowd?

[Jester]

It never ceases to amaze me the number of profiles on dating sites that are littered with horrible spellings of simple, common words and complete and total lack of capitalization or grammar. That is what they are putting out there for the first impression people will have of them?

I have to play Devil's Advocate here and point out that not all intelligent people are good spellers or grammarians. Two of my friends, while highly intelligent, are notoriously bad spellers. One is an excellent writer who would be toast without Spellcheck. The other one is great to converse with, but he definitely has trouble writing or typing stuff. They are both aware of these flaws, but frankly, were either one to put up a dating profile (I don't know that either one ever has), I have no doubt that it would be littered with bad spelling and possibly bad grammar.

On the other side of the coin, I have met and have known people who can manage to spell and write perfectly fine, and yet they are not all that bright.

[AdminAssistant]

I definitely look for intelligence...but in a relationship I usually just want to chill and watch movies and be silly. I can discuss the differences between Foucault and Derrida at school with my classmates.

[katie kaboom]

LOL amen to that! Dates suck; it's so much better to be friends with someone and jump into the relationship part. Only if it feels right, of course.

I was never much of a dater, and friends first worked for me. My fiance and I were friends for 4 years before we started dating.

[Shards]

I definitely look for intelligence...but in a relationship I usually just want to chill and watch movies and be silly. I can discuss the differences between Foucault and Derrida at school with my classmates.

Amen to that.

I don't mind dating girls who aren't quite on the same level, or who are significantly brighter than me. In a relationship, I'm looking for someone fun, who doesn't mind being random or laughing. Most of all, I look for girls who don't want the 'bad boys', because frankly, I know I'm boring. My idea of a fun day is a Chemistry Lab and a Dungeons and Dragons book. If I wore glasses or didn't go to the gym as much, I would be a very generic geek. I know most girls get excited by the 'bad boys', but I've found a surprising number who don't get disappointed when I don't turn out to be one, and that makes me feel a lot better than if they think I will be, and then I let them down.

However, on the other side of the coin, when I have to explain everything I'm saying to a girl twice, in small words, AFTER I explain it properly, it does get annoying. However, there are hundreds of different kinds of smart, and only a few are measurable. It's difficult to find a girl who is on the same level as you in all the different spectrum. Finding one who is there on enough, patient with you where you lag behind, and willing to learn when she lags behind is the very, VERY best you can hope for.

[Reyneth]

I have to play Devil's Advocate here and point out that not all intelligent people are good spellers or grammarians. Two of my friends, while highly intelligent, are notoriously bad spellers. One is an excellent writer who would be toast without Spellcheck. The other one is great to converse with, but he definitely has trouble writing or typing stuff. They are both aware of these flaws, but frankly, were either one to put up a dating profile (I don't know that either one ever has), I have no doubt that it would be littered with bad spelling and possibly bad grammar.

On the other side of the coin, I have met and have known people who can manage to spell and write perfectly fine, and yet they are not all that bright.

True - I am horrible at spelling. Dictionary.com and spellcheck is my friend. That's why I made sure to specify simple, common words. A guy who doesn't know the correct usage of where/wear and your/you're etc or who can't be bothered to proofread or correct it in his advertisement to the available woman he's trying to garner her interest in him isn't someone I'm going to look twice at.

You wouldn't turn in a resume for a job with those kinds of errors, would you? Oh, right this is CS.com - I know that people do! Maybe I should say many good employers wouldn't look twice at someone who didn't take enough care in their resume to not use everyday words correctly or not use text-speak. I'm doing the same weeding out process when looking for someone as a partner. "UR fiary piktur is hawt" isn't exactly a turn-on!

Shards - I do agree with you that it's impossible to find someone who matches you in all aspects. It's good when you compliment each other. But as you kind of said, it's good when you're at least within a reasonable distance so you can share your interests with each other and don't have to feel like you're talking to a first grader. New concepts? Sure - it may be a challenge for someone foreign to a topic or subject. But if things don't have to be dumbed down to a ridiculous level or explained several times, or re-explained a week later all over again, that's a huge bonus.

[Shards]

True - I am horrible at spelling. Dictionary.com and spellcheck is my friend. That's why I made sure to specify simple, common words. A guy who doesn't know the correct usage of where/wear and your/you're etc or who can't be bothered to proofread or correct it in his advertisement to the available woman he's trying to garner her interest in him isn't someone I'm going to look twice at.

You wouldn't turn in a resume for a job with those kinds of errors, would you? Oh, right this is CS.com - I know that people do! Maybe I should say many good employers wouldn't look twice at someone who didn't take enough care in their resume to not use everyday words correctly or not use text-speak. I'm doing the same weeding out process when looking for someone as a partner. "UR fiary piktur is hawt" isn't exactly a turn-on!

Shards - I do agree with you that it's impossible to find someone who matches you in all aspects. It's good when you compliment each other. But as you kind of said, it's good when you're at least within a reasonable distance so you can share your interests with each other and don't have to feel like you're talking to a first grader. New concepts? Sure - it may be a challenge for someone foreign to a topic or subject. But if things don't have to be dumbed down to a ridiculous level or explained several times, or re-explained a week later all over again, that's a huge bonus.

To respond to your arguments on grammar, honestly, once I write something once, I really typically don't care to read it over a second time. I just want to get it done. Doesn't mean I'm less intelligent, just that I don't want to spend as much time on something like that. I catch 90% of errors as I go, but if I don't catch it then, I'm not going back for it.

Then again, I'm not trying to attract girls like you. I'm sure you're a great person and someone who would make a good friend, but someone who is going to look that deeply into my writing isn't someone I want to pursue a romantic relationship with, just not my type...

I guess what I'm saying is that it's probably for the best you don't look twice at the kind of ads guys like me put up.

[Reyneth]

Then again, I'm not trying to attract girls like you. I'm sure you're a great person and someone who would make a good friend, but someone who is going to look that deeply into my writing isn't someone I want to pursue a romantic relationship with, just not my type...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not all Freudian on these profile things. But if a guy can't take even five minutes to make sure the he's putting the best impression of himself out there for something he's looking for - you're right, that's not someone who is my type. First impressions aren't everything, but when there are hundreds of profiles out there, I'm of the opinion that a person should make sure it's a good first impression. Of course, there are guys that are looking for other things so their profile is probably more suited for them and their goals.

[Shards]

Honestly, if I were going on one of the sites looking for a real, romantic relationship, I would want my profile to look like me, not the best of me, all of me, spelling errors and all. Anyone who shows interest in that might be worth looking up. I'd get fewer dates than the guys who spend a lot of time making theirs nice and pretty, but I feel like I'd disappoint fewer people who were expecting something that wasn't there, and that's nice to me.