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You're blocking the road to my pants.
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The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies. -
I just had a image of someone riding a bra rodeo style. 'Woah there!'
As soon as I start thinking
That I'm sensible and sane
The Random Hedgehog comes along
And fiddles with my Brain
(from card I got)Comment
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"You're white, but you're not too white.""Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probablyComment
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"Hey, my watch says you're not wearing underwear. You are? It must be 15 minutes fast."Comment
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"Ooops! It seems that my poor knife is suffering from a sudden bout of erectile dysfunction."Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.
Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.Comment
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Me: My mind just isn't connecting with my brain.
( Was trying to say my mouth wasn't connecting with my brain, but instead proved it!)
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Me: So I just heard this lady say that homosexuals have demon powers. I feel cheated. WHERE ARE MY DEMON POWERS?
My friend: It's because you don't talk about it constantly. We've been over this.
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(I put 12 books on the check-out for the library. 2 are about serial killers, one is about Jonestown, one is about ghost towns in my state, one is on urban legends, one is on photoshop techniques for photographers, and one is on Buddha)
Grandma: Have you heard the phrase 'thinking positively makes you happier?'
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My sister: I wish people would stop asking me about my religion. My religion is F*ck off.
Me: And the god is called F*ck all
My sister: Yeah! He's okay with cursing.
Me: And his 'smiting' of people is just random inconveniences like getting stuck in traffic or stubbing your toe.
My sister: I don't think I can tell people about this.
Me: Just know you only need like, 10 official followers to make it a religion.
(best part is that my sister doesn't swear.)
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Me: And so I'll start my history class with: moral of history is: everyone is a dick. Think I can do that?
Sister: Probably not...Comment
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Oh, let's not die today. That would suck. We have plans.Comment
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"Like you said - You got a Lover with a whole damn radio station..."
" yep. and boy, he knows how to use it...."I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - JoiComment
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"...and now I can't say 'ass' to the cashier."Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.Comment
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Phil *nods head to sister*
Ok Phil *Said back to me*
Fiance calls from other room "Your names are Bardmaiden and Lady Legira not Phil"Final Fantasy XIV - Acorna Starfall - Ragnarok (EU Legacy)Comment
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"After a while, all this clanking on glasses to make the bride and groom kiss is not cute. Get your own porn."The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies.Comment
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"Augh! My cock is leaking! "
The speaker was female.The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.Comment
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"I realized that I could pull my hair out of my mouth and not die.""Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probablyComment
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Me: Do you *always* look at Star Wars pictures with your hand down the front of your underwear?
Fiance: Ohhh, Obi-Wan Kenobi!"Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
Emissary of Minong - my blog and its Facebook pageComment
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"Stop whooping on my pizza!"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.Comment
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