Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[crazylegs]

I must not point and laugh at my colleagues who end up covered up to their knees when entering a cow shed.

[Ghel]

I'm not allowed to ask for mailing addresses for loan customers, to make sure the customer's loan coupons go to the correct address.

[mathnerd]

Do not print the set of cards from Cards Against Humanity and leave them lying randomly around the store.

Not even in employee-only areas.

Now I really want to print off these cards and play the game. That's hysterical.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Do not print the set of cards from Cards Against Humanity and leave them lying randomly around the store.

Not even in employee-only areas.

[The Hurting]

Slack off from checking on the customer bathrooms every 30 minutes (A job I CAN'T even do half of the time because of how busy it gets). But if I'm lucky enough, sometimes I'll get a front desk employee who doesn't bother asking.

Not sure if I've mentioned that one already.

[Skeen]

I am not allowed to mope. Apparently it brings everyone else down?

[fireheart]

No matter how innocent they sound, or the lack of swearing, singing songs from Family Guy, Simpsons, American Dad and South Park are all forbidden. ESPECIALLY South Park.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to make jokes about me being blonde.
Especially because I am the ONLY blonde.
I am however, allowed to claim "blonde moment" for screwing up the first aid paperwork.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When somebody asks me how I'm doing today, don't respond "Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that I'm perfect!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Upon arriving in the breakroom for a break, it probably isn't a good idea to greet the co-workers already there taking their breaks with a hale and hearty "Guten Tag, you fucks!"

Same applies to customers entering the store at the start of our Black Friday Thursday sale.

[fireheart]

-When I return back to work with red hair*, I am not allowed to tell the kids that I have no soul.

*-I am planning on dying my hair either a copper red or a darkish red/brown. At the moment, I'm the only blonde at work and boy do I feel it

[Fudgethatkay]

Not allowed to answer "Thank you" with "No Problem Sir/M'am/Madame"

Not allowed to laugh at myself when fixing a self mistake (Which helps my anxiety, but okay...)

Not allowed to answer phone in front of customers half the time

Not allowed to ignore the ringing phone in front of customers half the time.

[Spydyr]

I've tried most of these...

From my previous job at the gas station:

1. I cannot play with the toys that belong to the owners kid, even if they happen to be right at the register.

2. Don't stock the cigarettes at the 2nd store... even though the racks are empty and the customers keep requesting that item.

3, I can't prance about the parking lot unless i have a broom in my hand

3A: I can't ride said broom like a witch.

4. I cannot build a dog food fort just because the last guy who worked there did.

5. I cannot taunt the owners older daughter into scaring the pants off of his two year old son. Even if she had the idea first.

6 I can't simply watch the police pulling people over left and right in the parking lot during my shift.

7. I can't leave the register to go find my co worker in order to be able to leave the register to serve a customer.

7A. I can't shout at the top of lungs trying to get said coworkers attention either.

8. I can't sing karaoke on the speakers to songs I like.

[KatherineB]

New one from this morning:

-I am not allowed to get hold of a paperclip, glue little eyes to it, stand it up on a piece of lined paper and call it Clippy.

[fireheart]

New one from this morning:

-I am not allowed to get hold of a paperclip, glue little eyes to it, stand it up on a piece of lined paper and call it Clippy.