Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed when the kids are having their sing-a-long session at the library to supply alternative lyrics to the song.
Apparently when they sing 'a worm is very wiggly...' adding on 'so have one for your tea' is not appreciated...

I've been guilty of doing this so many times at work

[Kit-Ginevra]

I am not allowed when the kids are having their sing-a-long session at the library to supply alternative lyrics to the song.
Apparently when they sing 'a worm is very wiggly...' adding on 'so have one for your tea' is not appreciated...

[wolfie]

BSB is definitely laughable. As for Alabama, I've got an old machine on dialup, and can't access videos. What was the title?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Okay, here's one. Some old-school Alabama for you:

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I AGREE

Also, the Boot Scootin' Boogie. If you were subjected to line-dancing to this in grade school physical education class, you'll understand.

[wolfie]

Just curious, but could you give me a couple examples of what you consider laughable country songs?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When a song by Fall Out Boy comes over the PA at da swamp, no organizing a mosh pit by the checkouts and stage-diving off the service desk.

The in-store music changed after Christmas. Lotsa classic rock and more modern, inoffensive rock music. But also some truly laughable country music. At least the in-store music doesn't sound like we're targeting soccer moms and old people as our customers.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to encourage the kiddies to "sock wrestle."

(This is a little less harmful than it sounds: basically you give the kids a giant fluffy sock each and the goal is to remove your opponents sock before they remove yours. There are safety rules around it such as opponents are required to be roughly the same height and weight (by eyeballing) and you cannot tackle them or grab them from the neck up)

[Gilhelmi]

Excerpt from an employee all staff meeting.

Maintenance is complaining about the smell by the back door. From now on no one is allowed to go pee out the back door.

In the interest of full disclosure, I was one of the people who caused this rule. BUT I was not alone, there were at least 10 of us who were guilty.

[registerrodeo]

From he Assisted Living Center
*Do not set up Ghoul Pools
*Do not try to have wheelchair races in the hallways with the residents
*Quit singing the Grinch song everytime Sucky Manager walks by, even if other managers think it is funny
*Do not do the Kermit flail and start running around when DPW shows up unannounced for their yearly inspection
*Do not greet new residents with "Welcome to Hotel California"
*DO NOT jokingly tell them bingo has been replaced with quiet time
*Do not yell YOOOHOO over the radio when a co worker repeatedly ignores your calls
*Do not walk into the community bathroom and say "Good Lord what died in here??" when the residents are using it (ok for other employees tho)
*When being thanked for doing them a favor, do not say "Just put me in your will"

[Kit-Ginevra]

And when I read that I thought that 'HELLO CLEAVAGE' was actually written across your top...



Now there's an idea!

[fireheart]

I'm not allowed to ask Fireheart for a picture while on the job.

My boyfriend got a full demonstration

[catcul]

New one from today:

-I am not allowed to smack the courier over the head when he starts looking down my top. (unintentional on my part-my t-shirt was modest for the most part, but when I bend over, it sags resulting in HELLO CLEAVAGE!")

I'm not allowed to ask Fireheart for a picture while on the job.

[fireheart]

New one from today:

-I am not allowed to smack the courier over the head when he starts looking down my top. (unintentional on my part-my t-shirt was modest for the most part, but when I bend over, it sags resulting in HELLO CLEAVAGE!")

[Geek King]

Not allowed to tell the guys sagging their pants that their "diaper is full"

Congratulate them on their weight loss!

[April]

Not allowed to bust into client's rooms, pretending to be cops
Not allowed to Gesture at any passing cop vehicle and tell them that their ride is looking for them
Not allowed to tell the guys sagging their pants that their "diaper is full"
Nor can I say they look like a red assed baboon when their red underwear is hanging out

(I work in a Community corrections facility )