Dear....

[Becks]

Dear feet,

I know you hurt. The better part of 13¼ hours with only a bit of sitting down (half breaks and whatnot...). If I get a foot massage tonight before bed, will you be nice and not hurt tomorrow? I'll throw in Tuesday and Wednesday with a minimum of making use of you.

Love,

Me.

[ArenaBoy]

Dear Slytovhand,

We tried. Sorry.

PS. If United had won on goal difference, it'd be fucking lame. What was the FA smoking when they came up with that idea?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Dear CS.com'ers...

Next time I make a thread to whine about my female monthlies not showing up for four months, PLEASE smack me in the face with a shovel and tell me to shut my freaking mouth because OH MY GOD, I have half a bottle of Pamprin in me right now and I'm still doubled over in pain, my fat-pants don't fit, I'm weeping hysterically over WWE.com and I can't stop shoveling in bacon and KitKat bars like they're being outlawed tomorrow! I wish it would go away again for another four months! What the hell was I thinking, complaining about it??? ARGH!!!

Sincerely,
Mysty

[Umingmaq]

Mysty,

Sing along now: "I enjoy being a girl!"

My sympathies. Between that sort of thing, childbirth, and other assorted indignities, women do seem to get the short end of the pain stick.

[TruthHurts]

Dear Brain,

Scratching off the wrong number on a scratcher ticket is one thing. Convincing yourself that you won a hundred and fifty dollars when you didn't is another.


Pay better attention, damn you.

Love,

Me

[Evil Queen]

Dear S,

I'm so sorry for everything I have ever said or done to you. Yes, I'm sure I'll rot in hell and that may or may not make you happy... But I'm your friend and I'm sorry.

-EQ

[Amethyst Hunter]

Dear Mysty,



--

Dear Devil Moth,

Come fly vith me to zee Casbah. Vee shall make zee beautiful devil spawn insectoids, yes?

Sincerely, Devil Beetle found on the pile of laundry by Amethyst Hunter (No lie - I went downstairs late last night and the sucker was as big as the first two joints on my pinky finger. I think it was one of those stag beetle types with the huge pincers.)

[the_std]

Dear D,

DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!!!!

Love,
(A Very Obsessed) Me

[MystyGlyttyr]

Dear Umingmaq and Amethyst

Thankies for the well wishes. I'm better now YAY. Fortunately, my periods are unbelievably short (two days, three tops) but the trade-off is that I go just a tiny bit insane during the first day.

I mean moreso than usual.

I actually cornered the poor photographer yesterday to try and make him go buy me a cheeseburger. I'll have to apologize if he comes within twenty feet of me today.

Heh.

Mysty

[protege]

Dear Elspeth,

About baseball...it could be worse! I'm a Pirates fan...and our team sucks. So much, that they haven't been to the playoffs since 1993, our last World Series pennant was in '79 (), not to mention losing 100 games in 2001! As such, the team tends to get ignored by most sports fans in Pittsburgh. Can't say I blame them, since the team has been called the worst sports franchise ever by one of the magazines

--Pro

[Elspeth]

Dear Protege:

Ok you have it worse. I just want to end the season above the Rangers! At least we won on Sunday.

Elspeth

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear phone company

Thank you for expressing your wishes that I not microwave my new cell phone. Before today I didn't know that it could possibly make my battery explode. This is mostly because I never would have even put any thought towards what would happen in that situation. Admittedly, now I am curious as to what on earth that would look like and how big of an explosion it would be. Sadly, I'll just have to keep not knowing.

Still curious,
Me

Mom,

When I tell you I have no voice mail set up please believe me instead of insisting on calling me back to make sure. I've already checked and been made aware of it. It doesn't just set itself up.

Love,
your favorite daughter

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear phone company

Thank you for expressing your wishes that I not microwave my new cell phone. Before today I didn't know that it could possibly make my battery explode. This is mostly because I never would have even put any thought towards what would happen in that situation. Admittedly, now I am curious as to what on earth that would look like and how big of an explosion it would be. Sadly, I'll just have to keep not knowing.

Still curious,
Me

Dear Shangri-la,

Dudette, you just gave me a GREAT (horrible) Idea.

-RW

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear RetailWorkhorse

If you supply the microwave, I've got a phone

-Shangri-laschild

[TequilaSunrise]

Dear Irv:

How 'bout them Marlins?



With love,
A Marlins fan