Dear....

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Gun Sage,

Your wife is a lucky woman.

Since I told my husband he made me cry and hurt my feelers (which are located on my shoulders - 'cos when I'm sad, my shoulders sag ), he's been amazingly nice to me.

Getting what she can,
Rummy

[Evil Queen]

Dear Car Monies,

What do I do with you? I have no idea!

I have money and I don't feel like spending it,
-EQ

[AdminAssistant]

Oh, I used to be quite the game player myself - but I got yanked away from a game many many times without a save point. I don't let games (or tv shows or anything like that) rule my life. People are more important. Actually not a problem I have with BoyThing - he just works all the damn time and at weird hours. Which I understand. But it doesn't make it less frustrating. *sigh* c'est la vie!

BoyThing,

I'm going to call you. Pick up your phone this time, 'k? Cause I really hate it when you 1) don't answer and then 2) don't call back. I'm calling cause I want to talk to you, dammit!

Friends,

Please come to my party, okay? It would make me a sad panda to throw an Oscar party that nobody came to.

[iradney]

Dear EQ

LET'S GO SHOPPING!!!

Love
Rads

[Elspeth]

Dear Car,
Thank you for not loosing a tire when your baring went out. Both are getting replaced. Now you have a lot work down to you. I love you and you run great. Now I just have one request. KNOCK IT THE FRACK OFF. Mommy would like to get new hards for the hubby and me.

The provider of your gas.
Els

[kaetchen]

Dear HR lady,
F you for telling me what to put on my W4 in '07 when I was completely clueless, I shouldn't have listened to you when I had the sneaking suspicion that you were wrong. I didn't think much of it last tax season because I didn't have to pay the IRS anything.

This year, I now owe $523 to the IRS. Thank you very much. I was looking forward to getting my taxes back so I could pay off my credit card and pay for my new Fibromyalgia meds (that I have to pay out of pocket.) Well, so much for that.

I still can't figure out why I didn't owe the IRS anything last year though.

F you, and I'll be seeing you tomorrow to figure out what the hell happened.

Dear IRS,
Please don't make me pay that all at the same time? I won't be able to pay for ANYTHING because I'm a total retard and I have $200 to my name and credit debt from school tuition and other random things I needed to pay for.

Dear economy,
Suck it.

Dear vodka,
As much as I love you, we can't be together for a while. I might come back at a later date, but I can't make too many promises. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Dear self,
Good f-ing job, buddy. Next time you think something is wrong, speak the F up. Better find a way to pay that crap off and be able to pay for rent and all your other stuff. Also, try to save some money sometime...I know it's hard, but it's getting to that point. Don't let R get all that crazy food at the store when you can pay for 1/2 that price if it's NOT organic.

Dear mom,
Why are you claiming me as a dependent? You aren't paying for anything of mine in any way what so ever. Last I checked, I don't live with you and I pay for ALL of my expenses with my $11 an hour-20 hour a week-no benefits-job. If you get any kind of incentive on your taxes, you best be giving that to me. You really piss me off, and I was thinking about all the BS you pulled when I was younger and I think that you really shouldn't have bred. When you have a child, you have to take care of them and not treat them as though they are an inconvenience to you. It's not about YOU all the time.

Dear R,
Ya know...I love you and all but sometimes you really get on my nerves. It's not about what YOU want when it comes to something I would like. It's like everything else when it comes to what I would enjoy. Makes me feel like shit when you ask me what I want, then go "UGH NO" in response. I like flowers and I'm sorry if you don't like them, but it's not about you. No one has ever gotten them for me, and I would appreciate it very much if you were to get them for me. However, I can't make you do something.

Dear D,
I can deal with some things, but trying to be in control of things that you aren't really in control of gets on my nerves. If C says I can turn my phone off, I'm going to do it. There's no point to having it on Fridays after 5 because EVERYONE is CLOSED and I get angry people who like to get pissy with me for not being able to help them. (Granted, they deserve it for waiting until the LAST second to call about things, but still.)
Also, please stop calling me stupid/dummy/blessing my heart, etc. then acting like it's a joke and you didn't mean it. You did, and it's pretty obvious.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Child Rum,

When Mommy says "go back to sleep" please do so. I'm exhausted and looking forward to a nap.

Tiredly,
Rummy

----------------------------------------------
Dear Buglady,

I followed your advice and googled Worksman trikes. There is a bike that holds up to 350 pounds and is more than 50% off the price of the trike at Living XL.

Thanks!
Rummy

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Dear Prosecutor Lady Whatever You're Called,

Please just request that the charges be dropped. I'm a good girl, I promise.


Dear Public Defender,

Please represent me. Do your job. Kthx.

Dear Judge Lady,

Please let me go home without a criminal record and court fines to pay.

I can't handle it.

I don't deserve any of this.



Sincerely,
Not A Violent Criminal

[Evil Queen]

Dear SIGE,

What in the world did you do? (PM please?)

-EQ

Dear Kaetchen,
If you're over a certain age or Imacipated, your mother CAN'T claim you as a dependant. This year I requested of my parents that they not claim me because I've been filing as Head of Household for two years now (something I may stop doing, all it does is hold back more of my taxes and this year I seem to owe taxes some how).
Make her stop because she is getting a incentive for having you.

Doing my taxes myself again this year,
-EQ

[crazylegs]

Not so Dear <Bank>

You suck, royally.

Expect fireworks tomorrow.

No love

Crazylegs

[draftermatt]

Dear Kaetchen,
If you're over a certain age or Imacipated, your mother CAN'T claim you as a dependant. This year I requested of my parents that they not claim me because I've been filing as Head of Household for two years now (something I may stop doing, all it does is hold back more of my taxes and this year I seem to owe taxes some how).
Make her stop because she is getting a incentive for having you.

Doing my taxes myself again this year,
-EQ

Dear EQ,

How did you file HOH? When I asked about it a few years ago I was told I couldn't do that until I had kids.

Then my wife told me I did last year, so I was confused, now I'm even more so.

Thanks,

Matt

[gunsage]

Dear Bank,

Did you take math in high school? Hey, what about accounting? Perhaps any programming? Here's the deal...if I have a line of credit chock full of $500 that's available as an overdraft account and has worked as such for the, oh, FIVE YEARS or so that I've been there, explain to me why I had to explain the functionality of it and question why you would put an overdraft fee on my account when I went to pay for something that was $5, but my checking only had $3, still my overdraft had $500?

Could you also explain why...

#1 - The customer service representative didn't understand it either until I showed her, more or less with charts, graphs, and sock puppet theatre, why it was a load of BS.

#2 - She still stated an oh so patronizing "Wellllllllllllllllll, we'll take off the fee this time," despite her acknowledging my point.

#3 - When she got done talking to her supervisor, all information in hand, she called me back to NOT ONLY REITERATE THE FALLACY OF THE ORIGINAL POINT, but also tack on the patronization again.

Finally, could you explain WHY I would still want to be a member of your bank, especially now that I've paid my car off? Here's an idea. Fill yourself full of candy and chocolates so I can go beat the hell outta you this weekend at least have the satisfaction of turning your obvious loan shark operation into a pinata.

Rusty Bear Traps and People Whose Names I Can't Pronounce,



Gun Sage

[Evil Queen]

Dear EQ,

How did you file HOH? When I asked about it a few years ago I was told I couldn't do that until I had kids.

Then my wife told me I did last year, so I was confused, now I'm even more so.

Thanks,

Matt

Dear Matt,

I've filed every year for the past two years as HOH, I was never told I had to have children but it seems the law states otherwise (and I first did my taxes with H&R Block!). I was told that since my parents didn't claim me as a Dependant, I could file as Head of Household. So I did.
I just wrote that I was HOH on my W-2s. I think I'll be going to my work's accountant and asking him to change it though. Since it does me little to no good anyways.
The requirements are:
* You are unmarried or "considered unmarried" on the last day of the year.
* You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year.
* A "qualifying person" lived with you in the home for more than half the year (except for temporary absences, such as school). However, if the "qualifying person" is your dependent parent, he or she does not have to live with you.

Hope that helps, though I fear I may have confused you more.
-EQ

[Becks]

Dear Lizziebeff,

Thank you for lending us your car (AGAIN) and getting me some cheese popcorn.

You're awesome.

Love,

Becks

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

You are more then welcome.

Did I thank you for the MetallicA shirts yet?

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::wriggle::

--Sunshine