Non-Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Bardmaiden]

I was going to do it but somebody was narrating me!

[Rapscallion]

"So, you know how good it feels to take a dump? I wonder if gay sex is as good as that?"

Rapscallion

[fireheart]

School excursion to a farm, while on a hay ride:
*points frantically at a possum plushie stuck in a tree fork* "Look kids! It's Princess Stinky the Fourth!"

I'm having to bite my tongue down to keep from laughing at uni.

[Rapscallion]

"I really think you need to take up shagging."

Rapscallion

[Lady Legira]

I love being friends with you, our conversations are so surreal

[Lady Legira]

Gerbils are a gateway animal, you know?

Oh yeah, you start with gerbils and then the next thing you know it's Capybaras in the back garden.

[Bardmaiden]

I must be hallucinating, that's what the toilet said!

[fireheart]

"Yes Sweden, we know you have tits but thank you for pointing them out."

ETA: I realised that this one is funnier without context, but I'll post up that this one came from a facebook status courtesy of one Mr. Nyoibo

[Food Lady]

"He's attracted to me but he can't figure out why!"

[Dreamstalker]

No, you have to be able to fit an elephant in there.

[Lady Legira]

Stop feeling me up!

[Bardmaiden]

I'd put these pyjamas away for the winter because they were a bit strippy.

[Lady Legira]

Sorry I missed the boat, I got distracted by the Plague

[fireheart]

Another FB status from a friend of mine:

'a right to be free for non-consensual sexual intercourse'... wait, that should be 'from'

[Lady Legira]

I'll take my brains and run

You might as well, you have no brains!

Tell her it was extreme hotdogging