Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"It's always better to be the fucker than the fuck-ee. Trust me on this."

[EricKei]

"This is why we can't let [Agent J] near the interns!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"How much more stuff is there on the truck?"

"A dickton"

[Dreamstalker]

"One...two...THREE!"
"OwowowOW!"
"Can I pull out yet?"
[three voices at once] "No!"

[NecessaryCatharsis]

Contractor: Can you move your truck?
Co Woker: Why?
Contractor, Very Sarcastically: Bad parking lot feng shui

[pitmonkey]

One from Hubby.
"Just a minute while I get the strap-on"

[Food Lady]

Two from the past two days. "It's raining rubber bands!" "It's like trying to wrangle spaghetti."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"If you can't lift 150 pounds, what are you going to do on a farm?"

"Chase all the sheep around."

[BrenDAnn]

"I'm doing some drugs tonight!" *proceeds to take some Advil*
*gasp* "I'm telling Manager!"
"Go ahead... tell her to fire me, if you want!"

[drjonah]

"I don't like it when you stick little things in there"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"All that bending over is too much work."

"That's not what your mom told me last night."

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"Derek, your truck licks more taint that your mom!"

"Shut up! Does not!"

*giggles*

"Guys, guys! No need to fight here. His truck and his mom lick the same amount of taint."

[drjonah]

"That's the closest my mouth will ever get to a wiener"

AND

"You know I mean serious business when I start stripping"

[EricKei]

(a 3-way conversation)

"We have some T's, we have some A's!"
"As long as we don't have any pictures of d***s"
"That's probably the most sophomoric thing we've ever done"
"Caption: [name redacted] cracks a smile" [alongside image of ...well, guess] -- "I'm gonna take a victory lap on that one"
"I'm gonna make you type that one yourself"
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And today:

"Oh boy! I may finally get to shoot someone!"

[bhskittykatt]

"Will you sign my junk?"

[Jay 2K Winger]

"so as you can see that's what caused the casing to become ribbed hard and elongated..."
"...for her pleasure! oh did I just cross into the..... dangerzooooone!?!!!"

"Phrasing!"