Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[evilfarmer]

"If his lips are moving he is lying."

[BrenDAnn]

"That chick is batshit insane-- and I'm not just making that up, either!"

[bhskittykatt]

"He likes it when I give him head."

[EricKei]

'My hand is worth at least as much as J-Lo's ass'

'Guy broke his thumb cat fisting'

[Solacelawlz]

"I'ma tell ya like this right here, right now, you can do it from the back but boss lady ain't gone like it!"
"Phrasing!"

[Canadian In Maine]

From a customer looking for exact change for his coffee and bagel:

"I may have to give you something big."

[crazylegs]

I spend all day on my knees in that place

[EricKei]

D: "Guess where I'm taking him next?"
S: "The bathroom?"
Me: "That's my line!"

"Stop it! Not yet! We're not taking pictures of that yet!...Stop, [D]!"

[KhirasHY]

"Stupid girls, I hope they get butt cancer."

And another...

"Whackula would be the masturbating vampire!"

[NecessaryCatharsis]

"Pants make me angry"

"Infidelity is only for special occasions, you know, like birthdays."

[EricKei]

"That doesn't prove anything; there could be strippers anywhere (while waving $1 bills around)"

"They thought we were too good for fucking straws"

"Wash the adultery out of your mouth..."

[crazylegs]

If it's comfortable, I've done it wrong.

[CrappyToHelp]

Mummy has a bucket!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"So my husband was listening to some African music and mounting a deer...."

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"Fuck you apricots!"

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"I refuse to wear noodles on my feet."

[Dreamstalker]

"I am no longer above profiting from people's ignorance."