Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[SteeleDragon78]

I'm not allowed to microwave popcorn for 23 minutes.

i have seen it catch flame at 4min, so i agree with that directive.

[catcul]

I'm not allowed to microwave popcorn for 23 minutes.

[dalesys]

The problem with crop dusting is that some times you end up fertilizing on accident.

Sometimes Ol Estra needs more straw.

[drunkenwildmage]

I first heard the term on Rifftrax.

The problem with crop dusting is that some times you end up fertilizing on accident.

[TheWolfEmperor]

IF that term has the MEANING I believe it does (I know the term and a meaning from serving/waiting tables)

I first heard the term on Rifftrax.

[Racket_Man]

When the manger asks how I keep the aisles so neat and organized, I am not to reply with, "Crop dusting."

IF that term has the MEANING I believe it does (I know the term and a meaning from serving/waiting tables)

[Kazim]

Must...Not...Laugh
Laughing hurts...

[catcul]

When offering cashews, I'm not allowed to say, "Wouldn't you like to have my nuts in your mouth?"

[TheWolfEmperor]

When the manger asks how I keep the aisles so neat and organized, I am not to reply with, "Crop dusting."

[LadyofArc]

I am not allowed to take the penis of the new dummy and parade it around the office announcing that the new dummy as arrived.

I am not allowed to bring in a box of Sunbites crackers and announce "Hey guys, I brought crack!" (they are seriously good and addictive)

I am also not allowed to suggest that we bring in a set of stocks to punish excessively chatty staff members

[LadyofArc]

So stealing that..

Have at it.

Also a new one from the other day:

I am not allowed to sing Tripod songs at work.

ESPECIALLY not "Hotdog Man," or "Rock eisteddfod." (The former as it's NSFW and the latter because the majority of my coworkers will not get the joke.)

[jedimaster91]

I may get Snickers Bars thrown at me.

Not seeing a downside here.

[catcul]

Not allowed to take my store manager off to the side, use my belt on his bottom, stick a pacifier in his mouth and send him straight to bed without supper whenever he decides he wants to be a worrywart - even if he IS young enough to be my child!

He's missing out.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Not allowed to take my store manager off to the side, use my belt on his bottom, stick a pacifier in his mouth and send him straight to bed without supper whenever he decides he wants to be a worrywart - even if he IS young enough to be my child!

[LadyofArc]

I am not allowed to act like Ben DeLa Creme, grab the pointer we use for projectors and say "Microphone drop"