Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[catcul]

Despite the fact that he collects naughty people using steel restraints, I'm not allowed to call a member of law enforcement "Officer Krampus."

[YamiNoHime]

On days like that, I refer to my family mantra, "Limited Bail Money"

[catcul]

I'm not allowed to grab people by the back of the head and yell, "WHAT THE F DOES THE FEN SIGN SAY, AHOLE?!?!"

[catcul]

Trust me, you two are not the only ones.

The pants are not “optional”

I see what you mean. It's too bad I'm not allowed to ask for pictures while on the job.

[AkaiKitsune]

I'm sure we have more, but Kit-Ginevra and I are the most active ones AFAIK.

Trust me, you two are not the only ones.

[catcul]

Are we down to two?

I'm sure we have more, but Kit-Ginevra and I are the most active ones AFAIK.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Doesn't this site have enough room for two perverts?

Are we down to two?

[catcul]

Did Kit hack your account?

Doesn't this site have enough room for two perverts?

[YamiNoHime]

When someone asks if anyone needs to use the vacuum cleaner, I'm not allowed to say, "Sure, I could use a little sucky sucky."

Did Kit hack your account?

[catcul]

When someone asks if anyone needs to use the vacuum cleaner, I'm not allowed to say, "Sure, I could use a little sucky sucky."

[smfrazier]

Sing "Take This Job It"

[Kit-Ginevra]

Apparently no-one wants to see the Genital Dance no matter how spectacular and creative is it, it is not considered an acceptable way to greet customers...

[LadyofArc]

When you get told that you have to wear scrubs into the operating theatre tea room, don't ask if you can take a selfie while wearing them. (Actual context for this - meeting a doctor next week in said tea room to prepare for an upcoming meeting)

[catcul]

It's not a good idea to call the server in Calabash, "The Shrimp Server," especially since the shortest member of our team is checking my work.

[AkaiKitsune]

This is a really old one FYI.

I am not allowed to “kill it with fire”. Even if it’s 8 beady eyes are staring at me and it’s the size of a dinner plate. No, “8 legs is 4 legs to many” is not a valid reason for how the gate house got burned down. That “at least I got the fucker” is irrelevant.

We were told there was a spider that was while non-lethal would still have you pumped full of the not so wonderful drugs. It looked a lot like it’s entirely harmless cousin who was also the same colour and size. I think the idea was that we were supposed to leave all local wildlife alone lest it eat us, poison us, suck out our souls, or get us into some other mischief unheard of. Needless to say it didn’t work.