Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[AkaiKitsune]

Where do you get your shirts?

There’s a local guy here who will print anything on a shirt that you want or you can take any of the pre-printed shirts. They aren’t just full of bad Humor and cheap quotes either like a lot of stores.

I’ve got another one that says “every time history repeats itself the price goes up”.

I know there has to be a certain amount of shirts to be ordered before he will print custom orders but it doesn’t all have to be the same design. So he usually waits until he has enough single unique designs to have met the quota and then does it all in one batch.

[Mental_Mouse]

Where do you get your shirts?

[AkaiKitsune]

I am not allowed to wear socks that say “customer service:” on the bottom of one and “killing you slowly.” On the bottom of the other.

Was changing out for my work shoes in the breakroom.

I am not allowed to come down the staff room stairs in plainclothes that have any quotes by Niccolò Machiavelli on them.

Particularly:

“People should either be caressed or crushed. If you do them minor damage they will get their revenge; but if you cripple them there is nothing they can do. If you need to injure someone, do it in such a way that you do not have to fear their vengeance.”

I am not allowed to quote Capone.

“I'm a kind person, I'm kind to everyone, but if you are unkind to me, then kindness is not what you'll remember me for.” (when I went politely pissed on a customer trying to pass off fake bills as real. And her stealing as “ bought it at another store” while being unable to explain why our cameras caught her in the act of taking the items off the shelf. She got bitchy at me for informing her that the cops had finally arrived. She also threw a jug of milk at me. And called me a bitch for calling the cops. The quote ppped into my head and it was so perfect I couldn’t resist... I only realized after exactly who I had been quoting. Gave the cops a laugh.)

[taxguykarl]

I did a return for a young man named Mata--Spanish for murder. Don't mess with him. I also did one for a Nancy Wilson, daughter of Heart fans, no doubt.

[LadyofArc]

What about Dr Richard Tapper?

I will seriously piss myself laughing if someone like that ever shows up at work. Also worth noting that we have an anaethetist with the surname Huffer.

And another doozy from yesterday:

- No offering to act as the manager's wingman when he admits the guest speaker at work is cute.

[drunkenwildmage]

I am not allowed to mock the fact that there is a urologist at work with the surname Wang.

What about Dr Richard Tapper?

[LadyofArc]

I am not allowed to loudly ponder why the colorectal and GI surgeons at work are the nicest guys I've met so far, while the urologists are a bunch of dicks. (pun intended )

[catcul]

When talking about Wang Laboratories, I'm not allowed to say, "Wang was not very big. They found the computer industry very hard and had to pull out early."

[catcul]

I am not allowed to mock the fact that there is a urologist at work with the surname Wang.

Wang was the name of a defunct computer company. I've worked on Dells, Gateways, Lenovos, and even an Asus, but I've never been asked to examine another man's Wang.

[LadyofArc]

I am not allowed to mock the fact that there is a urologist at work with the surname Wang.

Nor can I mock the fact that there is a colorectal surgeon whose name is one letter off from "Anal" (mostly because he's actually really nice )

[AkaiKitsune]

Fire is not the appropriate way to dispose of paperwork with personal information on them. Yes, even if the shredder is busted again.

[AkaiKitsune]

That’s alright, somehow we got on the topic of the bathroom renos at work and how someone went into the wrong one... I am not allowed to randomly burst into song, particularly if it’s “the restroom door said gentleman”... I think it was bulky some guy named bob rivers?

[catcul]

I'm not allowed to sing Te Quiero Puta! by Rammstein since my female Mexican coworker sits behind me. I'm also not allowed to sing Py by Rammstein either.

[catcul]

I'm not allowed to sing X-M@$ by Corey Taylor with my coworkers. (Link NSFW)

Merry Fing Christmas, everyone.

I'm also not allowed to sing Naughty Christmas by Lacuna Coil at children, no matter how much they misbehave.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Or you could sing Jingle Bombs

*raises hand*


Done that.


But, in my defense, it was after closing and no customers were left in the store.


Besides, I didn't sing . . . I just played the video on YT and held the phone to the microphone.