Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[prjkt]

I'm not allowed to yell profanity if I whack my balls again.
I'm not allowed to whack my balls again.
I'm not allowed to ask my coworkers to kiss them and make them better.

Just remember...

[catcul]

I'm not allowed to yell profanity if I whack my balls again.
I'm not allowed to whack my balls again.
I'm not allowed to ask my coworkers to kiss them and make them better.

[fireheart]

The binder clips on my desk are not to be used to make a binder clip family.
I am not allowed to attach googly eyes to a paperclip and call it Clippy.
The staple remover is not a crocodile.
I am not allowed to comment that the punching bag my manager bought looks somewhat like a penis. (it's a blow-up one too...many jokes ensued about it because my manager started blowing it up right in front of us! >.<)
I am not Super Filing woman and I am not allowed to make a cape depicting this.
If I am in the lab and not on the main floor, I am not allowed to hijack the monitors so I can work from 2 screens.

Weirdly enough if we are in the computer lab and not on the main floor, we are allowed to play music just as long as it's not too loud and the work gets done.

[catcul]

I am not allowed to make fun of my teammate because he's being sent to Belcher.

At least it's not Crapo.

[catcul]

Can you arrange fake orders ostensibly sending him to Intercourse Pennsylvania and Dildo Newfoundland?

I am near Climax.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to comment that my supervisor sounds like fran Drescher.

[wolfie]

Can you arrange fake orders ostensibly sending him to Intercourse Pennsylvania and Dildo Newfoundland?

[catcul]

I am not allowed to make fun of my teammate because he's being sent to Cumming. However, I am allowed to tell him I have been to Cumming, myself.

[fireheart]

One today a la my partner:

We are not allowed to email memes back and forth for a whole day. (His boss did give him the OK to email me regularly just to check up on me)

[fireheart]

I'm not allowed to discuss 'Fifty Shades of Grey' at work. Not that I'd want to. I just thought it was funny the boss actually left a note telling us not to talk about it!

I've mentioned this before, but when I was working at a childcare service back in my hometown, one of my 5th graders was a sweet kid, appeared somewhat innocent, but also liked to read a lot. Turns out one day she'd bought in 50 Shades of Grey (of all books). Needless to say, she was very quickly told to put it away. (The rule we have is "If we don't see it, it's not our problem", barring certain circumstances-so if you have an electronic device in your bag, we don't give a crap as long as you don't use it.)

[BrenDAnn]

I'm not allowed to discuss 'Fifty Shades of Grey' at work. Not that I'd want to. I just thought it was funny the boss actually left a note telling us not to talk about it!

[catcul]

Just because they were sent there, nobody on the team is allowed to sing or play "I'm in Miami, Bitch" by LMFAO.

Sadly, I'm not being sent to Florida this month.

[catcul]

I'm not allowed to refer to the server box as, "my incredibly large package."

I'm not allowed to say to someone holding a small box, "Mine's bigger."

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to dress up as a Christmas tree ninja for work.

[dbuzman]

BSB is definitely laughable. As for Alabama, I've got an old machine on dialup, and can't access videos. What was the title?

It was "Get it while it's hot".