Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Ghel]

"I told him that bright blue was a horrible color, and he said I could have a say in what color they painted the building when I bought it myself! The nerve!"

[scruff]

(My boss, trying to gently break the news to me that he has yet another project for me, despite knowing full well that I'm already doing the work of two people).
Boss "I have good and bad news."
Me "ok, can I have the good news first?"
Boss "er, I actually don't have any..."

[Ghel]

CWA: "My husband just texted me to say he bought 4 C batteries. I asked him what for. He said it's a surprise."
CWB: "Maybe he's charging up your vibrator!"
Everybody:

[Dreamstalker]

"Welcome to [store], where common sense and spatial awareness go to die."

[Teysa]

Guys are a lot better at stuffing things than girls.

[dalesys]

"Is a BLT vegetarian?"

That was the point when I realised that humanity truly is doomed.

"Are lambskin condoms vegan?"

Seconded!

[Lace Neil Singer]

"Is a BLT vegetarian?"

That was the point when I realised that humanity truly is doomed.

[BPFH]

"My rank has increased to Nuisance! I've never been so proud!"

[Ghel]

"It's always darkest before it decides to get warm."

[Dreamstalker]

"We must be getting close to Easter, the chocolate bunnies are committing suicide."

[Dreamstalker]

"There's no way that should have worked."
"So was it still a bad idea?"

[Mental_Mouse]

"How are you doing this fine Spring day?"
"I don't care what your calendar says. Snow is not Spring weather."

My crack to my neighbor was "Looks like March isn't quite ready to go out like a lamb!"

[catcul]

"How are you doing this fine Spring day?"
"I don't care what your calendar says. Snow is not Spring weather."

[catcul]

"I'm going to check up on an install I did yesterday. I'm taking Justin's advice."
"Who?"
"You know Justin Case, don't you?"

"There's your bad joke for the day."

[catcul]

"I told him that he needed to do what I said unless it was unsafe, illegal, immoral, or unethical."

"What if it's fattening?"