Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Aria]

"This is a bad case of tech-ese. Let me see if I can run it through my tech to human translator."

[Dreamstalker]

"I wish I could do this one-handed, but then it would probably be illegal."

[Ghel]

"You're a Snarky Puppy! ... That's a band, lead singer <coworker>!"

[Aria]

"Hey guys check this out." *links a customer account*

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Is kill it with fire an option?"

"Haha no I wish."

[Lace Neil Singer]

"Why are Mini Eggs on holiday?"

"Because America."

[Dreamstalker]

"Can someone explain to me how potato salad has an allergen warning for shrimp?"

[apocolypse101]

"This chocolate tastes like shrimp."

[catcul]

"Let's keep the monitors even and the technicians odd."

[Jay 2K Winger]

I get that, Jay. Perhaps I should have added the other quote said by the same person not 30 seconds before the one above:

"[Ghel], you're good with technology..."

Okay, in that case, the roll of the eyes is perfectly justified.

[Ghel]

I get that, Jay. Perhaps I should have added the other quote said by the same person not 30 seconds before the one above:

"[Ghel], you're good with technology..."

[Jay 2K Winger]

"Type the percent sign. It's above the 5 on your keyboard, so you have to hold down the shift key."
[no, really? ]

Speaking as someone in the IT field, if they're saying this, then it's because they've had far too many people NOT know where the % key was, AND not know they have to hold shift too.

There's a little trick we use at work to get workstation IDs off of terminals, without having to crawl under the desk to read the label (which may not be accurate). From the login screen (username/password screen), if one types "." in the username field, it changes the note under the prompt from "Log onto: [network]" to "Log onto: [workstation ID]"

Because so many people think, when I say "backslash" that I mean this symbol --> /, I will ALWAYS state, "The backslash is the one above the Enter key." (Since, on the standardized keyboards we have at The Client, that's where the \ key is located.)

[Ghel]

"Type the percent sign. It's above the 5 on your keyboard, so you have to hold down the shift key."
[no, really? ]

[Dreamstalker]

"How did you do that so fast?"
"I can even do it blindfolded!"
"I really don't want to know how you found that out."

[Lace Neil Singer]

{Colleague's name here}, why the hell do weird things always seem to happen whenever you work with {other colleague}?!

[Pixelated]

I don't mind coming to work, but this eight-hour wait to go home is bullsh*t!