Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Dreamstalker]

"If the shit don't fit you must say f**k it."

(hmmm, new department motto...?)

[Ghel]

"You can give it to me any way you want to."

[catcul]

"That looks great. It would look better if you wiped that brown stuff off the rear end."

[Mr. Security]

"I just need you to punch me hard in the chest to get my lung working"

[catcul]

"Ok, I need you to put the laptop on the ground and stomp on it 4 times"

No, no, no! You're supposed to throw it out of the window.

[drunkenwildmage]

"Ok, I need you to put the laptop on the ground and stomp on it 4 times"

[drunkenwildmage]

"Come on HR, get your heads out of your asses!"

[Ghel]

"The kids wanna do her."

[catcul]

"No, no! That's JEFF Voorhees."

[Nunavut Pants]

... and then he said, 'I got married instead of getting my Harley.'

A (male) friend of mine once said-- "She moved out. Two weeks later I bought a motorcycle. No, I don't want to look at that too closely."

[Dreamstalker]

"I don't think that's how pasta works."

[YamiNoHime]

"I have a Penguin in my hand and I'm not afraid to use it!"

(I THINK the kid was playing Yu-Gi-Oh on his handheld, but I can't swear to it. BTW, I work in a doctor's office)

[YamiNoHime]

"Bagels evolve into Donuts, which evolve into Cake, which megaevolves into Wedding Cake"

"Ian, Bagels are NOT Pokémon!"

[Ghel]

CW1: "You don't know what I have in my coffee this morning."
CW2: "Whatever it is, I want some!
CW1: "I can't give you any - I don't have my pharmaceutical licence."

Different conversation, later:

"... and then he said, 'I got married instead of getting my Harley.'"

[catcul]

"March is coming to an end."
"IT'S MAY!"