Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[BPFH]

"Remember, suicide is never the solution. Sometimes, though, homicide is the solution."

[drunkenwildmage]

"Well,I do have glow in the dark balls'

[drunkenwildmage]

"Unfortunately, if I had to take a random drug test right now, I would pass”

[Ghel]

B: "Don't forget there's caffeine in chocolate!"
A: "Oh! Right! I forgot!" (This is the same person as my previous entry on this thread.)

[LadyofArc]

"I will do substance again in October."

(Note: person who made above quote is a native English speaker)

[Ghel]

"I didn't know chocolate had caffeine in it."

[catcul]

"Of course, the one's that's not working is the ugliest."

[catcul]

"What comes after three?"
"Four!"

[catcul]

"What do these donuts taste like?"
"They taste like steroids."

[catcul]

"Here, we have a tough military man saying, 'I broke a nail.'"

[catcul]

"Let the dongle hang down 12 inches."

"We're going to be putting the dongle in the rear."

[Ghel]

"When a customer comes up and I'm busy, I just shove it in my friggin' hole and help the customer."

[Dreamstalker]

"All I need right now are 20 minutes and a hammer."

[Ghel]

"I told him that bright blue was a horrible color, and he said I could have a say in what color they painted the building when I bought it myself! The nerve!"

[scruff]

(My boss, trying to gently break the news to me that he has yet another project for me, despite knowing full well that I'm already doing the work of two people).
Boss "I have good and bad news."
Me "ok, can I have the good news first?"
Boss "er, I actually don't have any..."