Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Lace Neil Singer]

{Colleague's name here}, why the hell do weird things always seem to happen whenever you work with {other colleague}?!

[Pixelated]

I don't mind coming to work, but this eight-hour wait to go home is bullsh*t!

[Ghel]

"Have a great fourth of July!"
*looks at date stamp of post*

[Dreamstalker]

"I'd like to say that's the weirdest thing I've ever done, but I can't."

[Aria]

"Sometimes, the only thing to do is to nuke it all and start over from scratch."

[Dreamstalker]

"I don't even see a watermelon that looks like a watermelon."

[Ghel]

"She's, I mean, you know, I mean, whatever, you know."

(This was apparently a complete thought, if you can call it that.)


Another from today (the second CW is the same person as above).

CW1: "Does it smell weird in there? Like church?"
CW2: "It does smell weird. Like the electrical panel smells like bandaids."

[Ghel]

"If you are what you eat, everyone around here must eat a lot of assholes."

Another from today:
"I'll pay for the lesbians, but not the Asians. He doesn't seem to be that quick!"

[Ghel]

"I know you go down there once in a while, so I didn't know if you'd seen it or not."

[Nunavut Pants]

There's gotta be a joke about Windows-pane acid there somewhere...

[Pixelated]

Once, I had a coworker describe a product as having an LSD screen.

"Wow, look at all the pretty colors!"

I have to keep that in mind when I replace my monitor ... "Can I have an LSD screen, please?"

[Pixelated]

Did that product call the kettle black?

Sad part is, it actually took me a couple of seconds to "get" that ...

[catcul]

This was one of mine: we've got a product with the word "maharaja" in the name. I introduced it to a customer one day and somehow came out with "marijuana" instead ...

Customer:

Once, I had a coworker describe a product as having an LSD screen.

"Wow, look at all the pretty colors!"

[wolfie]

Did that product call the kettle black?

[Pixelated]

This was one of mine: we've got a product with the word "maharaja" in the name. I introduced it to a customer one day and somehow came out with "marijuana" instead ...

Customer: