Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Dreamstalker]

"I have a spoon, I can hit anyone I want."

[dalesys]

NSFW... maybe NSFH...
Bultaco motorcyles. What were they thinking when they named them?
Didn't they know most guys prefer the performance and ride of Cowtacos?
(highlight if you wish..)

[Lace Neil Singer]

"Nothing you sell here is of any use!"

[Dreamstalker]

"Hey! Hands off my nuts!"
"No nuts are off-limits back here."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Bris? Isn't that where they swear in the new president or something?"

[drjonah]

Let me put your nuts in a bag

[Lace Neil Singer]

"Can't you get the old pumps back?"

"No, cuz they're in a landfill somewhere."

[raw1989]

I don't like nuts.....

[Dreamstalker]

"I have a 12-incher and nowhere to put it."

[Dreamstalker]

"OK, I'll give you this because truffles don't violate the drug policy."

[Aria]

"You know the cuddly feeling you get when you see something that's going to be an absolute shit-fest to fix, check the account and realize you can't fix it now, it has to wait for tomorrow and you're not working tomorrow? I'm feeling it right now. And I hope you're not working tomorrow."

[raw1989]

I don't know if this counts but I got a text from my boss can you please come in.....

Do u know how many times im sick of hearing that phrase im beginning to forget what days off are.... Im on day number 7 in a row. Although im only working a partial shift as I am covering and leaving as soon as its not to busy

[Ghel]

"Now I'm lucky if I can get my fingernails painted!"

"So it's ok if you don't swallow, right?"

[Lace Neil Singer]

"How hard is it to press a button?!"

[Food Lady]

Heard in the hallway:

"Oh god!"
"Yes, my child?"