Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Dreamstalker]

"If you're the one scanning your shit [at SCO] you waive any right to complain about the cashier."

[catcul]

"If you send an email, please IM him to tell him you sent it so he can look for it."

"He might want to give him a call, too. Also, he should send his message by carrier pigeon."

[Dreamstalker]

"If somebody tries to argue with me that they want to pay more for something, I'm not stopping 'em. They're actually consenting to the idiot tax."

[Dreamstalker]

Ha, don't I wish...

[Nunavut Pants]

But ... but you look like a young Dan Aykroyd!

[Dreamstalker]

Going by what I dealt with today...no, no it wouldn't.

Now, if I could levy a tax on the SCs who insist on calling me "sir"...at $50 per incident, I'd have made nearly a grand this week alone.

[Ironclad Alibi]

"If we had a 'service charge' for stupid questions we could all retire by the end of this year."

I don't think it would take that long.

[Dreamstalker]

"If we had a 'service charge' for stupid questions we could all retire by the end of this year."

[Ghel]

"I look like somebody's who's been buried and dug up again."

[Ghel]

"What's with all the nosehairs? There are so many nosehairs..."

[Ghel]

"You're retired... what should I put down as your former title or occupation?"
"Meat handler."

[AkaiKitsune]

Leave me alone. I am playing hide the salami.

[BPFH]

“Can you put the blue thingy where the used thingies go and get a new thingy to put where you took the old thingy from?”

Read that one with "thingy" as defined by Monty Python's "tax on thingy" sketch and it's even more amusing.

[AkaiKitsune]

“Can you put the blue thingy where the used thingies go and get a new thingy to put where you took the old thingy from?”

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"I'm going to lube something and beat it like it owes me money."

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"If I can clear out a room with one fart, I can sure as hell infect one."